Archive for April 2013
Readers Delighted by Ace
I’m thrilled scores of readers wrote about recent account of my hole in one. They wanted tips. How do I hit ball so straight, not only on par threes but with big stick off tees? How do I knock putts straight into holes? I didn’t write or even imply I did those things but realize…
Read MoreLost Ball
Hector hated playing alone. His bad eyes couldn’t track even orange ball, and he refused to wear glasses or contact lenses. He wanted surgery but instead spent money traveling to play best courses. No one was available afternoon he teed off in mountains surrounding course. He usually found ball if hit down middle. On cliff…
Read MoreEmergency Teacher
Science teacher loved job but hated having to go in middle of class. Back in two minutes, he said, holding up fingers. He walked into bathroom he’d used twenty years and saw father push son away from urinal. Don’t do that, said teacher, and stepped to another urinal from which father pushed him, so he…
Read MoreSuper Kim Jong Un
I don’t fear starving people. They love my fat face. I worry about generals who pray I’m not tough as Father and Grandfather, generals who may want my place. They can’t have it. They’re learning I’m strongest Kim yet. I’ve already captured, jailed, and tortured North Korean fishermen, and fired missiles able to carry nuclear…
Read MoreBarack Marijuana
Flanked by secret service agents I entered Oval Office and was stunned to see several people circled around presidential desk, inhaling, coughing, and passing pungent marijuana. As female aide placed joint to lips President Barack Obama lunged by three people, snatched smoke from her hands, shouted, “Intercepted,” and took deep drag he long held, as…
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