High School Grades of Earl Warren

enter archives at bakersfield high school look left at long glass case displaying handwritten grade book note highlighted name earl warren read four years reports revealing history his best subject and three times earned his top grade in final quarter many students before and since doubtless had similar trajectories only didn’t become three term governor…

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Bobby Brown – The Whole Truth

Before presenting what Bobby Brown allegedly said and did, I must explain this book was originally conceived as an autobiography and author Derrick Handspike, according to his account, hung out with and interviewed the singer for a year, diligently wrote the book, and later squirmed as Brown and his advisers delayed final preparations for publication.…

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Animals in Office

swine snorts at talent wish i’d wonder if too late reptile darts and hisses insinuating problems exist wish i’d wonder if too late hyena snarls at herself through others wish i’d wonder if too late

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Supermarket Bulletins – Part 2

in supermarket checkout line headlines and color photos pronounce this star’s fatter than you that one’s more wrinkled both had botched plastic surgery another’s anorexic he’s drunk they’re addicted she’s in treatment he’s in jail she’s spendthrift he’s abusive she’s vain he’s unfaithful so’s she wonder what rag publishers are like

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Whitney Houston, 1963-2012

one beautiful as whitney houston who made star spangled banner soar and moved heaven singing i’ll always love you may harbor soul broken as man in gutter and seek relief same way To watch Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem before the 1991 Super Bowl, please click here

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Richard Nixon Where Are You

Richard Nixon called his first congressional opponent a commie, in ‘fifty senatorial race painted Helen Gahagan Duglas pink before trouncing her, and as vice president under Eisenhower snuggled with Joe McCarthy. By late ‘fifties he already wanted to invade Castro’s Cuba which however imperfect had just freed itself from American lackey Batista. After losing, perhaps…

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Big Al Allosaurus Responds to Brother – Part 2

How strange my brother accuses me of predatory incompetence and cognitive ineptitude. Let me clarify dark history with precision dear brother never practiced or understood. As youngsters he frequently tried to maim me and other siblings but I always overpowered him and rebuked with restrained bites. Our mother never disciplined him and would’ve perhaps turned…

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Brother Allosaurus Remembers Big Al – Part 1

I’m not jealous my brother Big Al receives much publicity a hundred fifty million years after death. In life we emerged from the same subterranean nest of a hundred allosaurus eggs and soon, following carnivorous instinct, bit, clawed, and wrestled each other, and serendipitously survived while most siblings died from illnesses or attacks by dinosaurs…

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The Right Room

first time on puerto vallarto tour quite hungover stand at basin looking into fright woman pops up behind and says sir are you aware this is women’s years later long sober at bakersfield movie women enter one says what’s guy doing in here leaving rapidly forget to say heat intoxication

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Madonna Teases Super Bowl Audience

hey some guy flipped off america during super bowl halftime show few noticed nonevent but bible busters protested when should’ve imagined madonna fifties fit in parked or moving cars on sofas in reading chairs on or under dining room tables planning to disappear in smoke revealing message world peace

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