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Category Archives: Africa

The Elephant

We were in a natural history museum and I asked my wife to back up and pose between the enormous tusks of an elephant whose stunning head and elevated trunk protruded from the wall. “How long’s this magnificent beast been dead?” I asked the docent. “At least fifty years,” he said, smiling as he passed. […]

Also posted in Asia, Elephants, Marriage, Museums

Lion Confronts Murderer of Cecil

Listen, I’m not going to lie that we lions are morally perfect creatures. We’re no better than humans, and neither is any other animal hungry for food and passion. Cecil wasn’t a saint but I prefer him to cosmetic dentist Walter Palmer who paid butchers fifty grand to shoot Cecil with an arrow and track […]

Also posted in Animals, Hunters, Kenya, Lions, Wildebeests, Zebras, Zimbabwe

Dick Tiger Stands Up

It’s already 1971. Where do the years go? How are my wife and eight children in Biafra? All right, I suppose I can’t call my home Biafra anymore, not publicly. I want to go home to Nigeria. I’m forty-one and my boxing career’s over and my money’s gone and I’m a security guard at the […]

Also posted in Biafra, Bob Foster, Boxing, Dick Tiger, Emile Griffith, Nigeria

Good Luck Nigeria

I’m in the Nigerian army a few years ago when Muslim insurgents of Boko Haram start killing people in the north and demand girls stop attending Western schools and establish harsh rules supposedly found in the Koran. I don’t know or care about that stuff and doubt President Goodluck Jonathan does, either. Like me, he’s […]

Also posted in Abubakar Shekau, Boko Haram, Goodluck Jonathan, Nigeria, Religion

Rhinos Battle Poachers

Thank you, humans, after centuries of slaughtering rhinos and driving many of our species into extinction and others to the brink, for trying to implant microchips in horns of all Kenyan white rhinos you can shoot with tranquilizers and thereby track poachers who kill us, and presumably arrest, prosecute, and convict the heathens who love […]

Also posted in Animals, Football, Rhinos

Lion Family

author of “the serengeti lion” doesn’t understand father ripping cubs to death or mother eating their guts Source: “Wild Things” by David Samuels in Harper’s June 2012.

Also posted in Families, Lions, Poetry - GTC

Ugandan Birth Control

ugandan mother of seven declines birth control so husband won’t beat again

Also posted in Birth Control, Families, Marriage, Uganda

World According to Americans

Don’t know if they were godless communists or radical Muslims but some outrageous critters emailed world map insulting Americans. On map they write we think Canada’s uninhabited. Bull feathers. We know few icy people live up there, and they sure as hell want to be like Alaska next door, which is now America except for […]

Also posted in Antarctica, Asia, China, Europe, India, Japan, Mexico, Middle East, Russia, Short Pieces - GTC, South Africa

Limbaugh Loves Kony

As child like thousands in Uganda I was kidnapped by Lord’s Resistance Army of Joseph Kony and tortured and raped and brainwashed for years as thousands died and am confused why free American radio talker Rush Limbaugh calls Joseph Kony Christian and attacks Barack Obama for trying to help us and through mangled lips I […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Brainwashing, Child Molestation, Cults, Joseph Kony, Media, Nazis, Poetry - GTC, Racism, Radio, Rape, Rush Limbaugh, Uganda