Philippines
The Loaded Lip
Listen to me. I’m determined to kill a hundred thousand drug dealers and users and to fatten fish in Manila Bay where I’ll dump all destroyers of our children. I won’t actually be doing the killing and the lifting and dumping, of course. I’m president of the Philippines and before that was the feared and…
Read MoreFerdinand Marcos Writes to President Duterte
Dear President Rodrigo Duterte, I would like to at once thank you in writing, as I soon shall in person, for allowing my publicly-displayed and cosmetically-altered corpse to be removed from refrigerated and glass-encased exile and moved to its rightful place of honor, the Heroes’ Cemetery of our great Philippine nation, over which I benevolently…
Read MoreDon’t Diss Pacquiao’s Hoops
For two decades Manny Pacquiao has excelled in a sport requiring mental and physical toughness, and when not punishing opponents in the ring he loves to relax playing basketball. He’s played the game all his life and does so fairly well. If no one’s near his five-six, short-armed frame, he can hit an unorthodox, two-handed…
Read MorePacquiao Plans Another War
Several years ago Freddie Roach, in a radio interview I heard, said he hoped his star pupil Manny Pacquiao was only going to fight one or two more times because he wanted to make sure Manny never got hurt. Roach, a brain-damaged former fighter, has evidently revised the career blueprint to one or two fights…
Read MoreFerdinand Marcos Endures
I’m not surprised the communists are still after me. They know I’m their most resolute enemy. I won’t let them carry out subversive activities. I won’t permit them to dominate my country. That’s why they didn’t want me to remain President of the Philippines longer than two four-year terms limited by the constitution. The communists…
Read MoreFloyd Mayweather in Hot Tub
“Ladies, it’s a whole lot better being in this fancy hot tub in my Las Vegas mansion than in a sweaty arena, isn’t it?” “Yeees,” gushed all but one. “You should be there,” said a lovely young woman. “You need to prepare to fight the winner, who’s going to be Manny Pacquiao.” “Who’re you?” “I’m…
Read MoreTyphoon in the Philippines
Wish I’d stayed in the mountains but years ago moved to the coast and became a fisherman and usually did pretty well and survived countless typhoons, annual curses in the Philippines, by grabbing my family and rushing into mountains which weren’t always hospitable flooding down toward us but we’d always dodged. This time, before we…
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