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Category Archives: Marriage

For Flynn

on sunny forest lawn fresh pink flowers lie across errol flynn caressed by lady lost in distant dreams

Also posted in Alcohol, Errol Flynn, Hollywood, Movies, Sex

The Elephant

We were in a natural history museum and I asked my wife to back up and pose between the enormous tusks of an elephant whose stunning head and elevated trunk protruded from the wall. “How long’s this magnificent beast been dead?” I asked the docent. “At least fifty years,” he said, smiling as he passed. […]

Also posted in Africa, Asia, Elephants, Museums

Tiger’s Green Jacket

I can’t sleep. I’d get up and do something if I could but my back’s too sore. It hurts all the time. I’ll take another pain pill or two. I’ll take whatever’s necessary to quit hurting. I think my mind hurts more than my back. What I’ve got to do is quit thinking. This all […]

Also posted in Brooks Koepka, Drugs, Golf, Infidelity, Masters Tournament, Sex, Tiger Woods

The Honor of a Lady

Soon after his wealthy father died, I married Truxtun Beale and we moved to Washington, D.C. where I spent much time alone in his mother’s elegant Decatur House, across from the White House, while he traveled to Central Europe and Siberia and other rough places he couldn’t take me. In two years we nevertheless managed […]

Also posted in Bakersfield, Divorce, Edward Beale, Gold, Infidelity, Mexican-American War, Mexico, Sex, Truxtun Beale, Ulysses S. Grant

Garage Sale

This is going to be the greatest garage sale ever. I’ve advertised in the newspaper and posted pictures on social media and taped flyers throughout the neighborhood and told some neighbors and friends to come over this beautiful Saturday spring morning starting at seven. I open the garage door a half hour early and several […]

Also posted in Divorce, Furniture, Garage Sales, Housing, Jewelry, Jose Abeto Zaide, Mental Health, Romance, Tales of Romance

The People v. O.J. Simpson

This story is in the collection “Basketball and Football”

Also posted in Football, Johnnie Cochran, Los Angeles, Marcia Clark, Murder, O.J. Simpson

The Marijuana Fair

Poor Curt, a naturally nervous sort, had daily been peeing a lot and obsessing about ancient slights and, prior to showering, cursing those he should’ve socked and those he planned to still. He could not take this anymore but hadn’t much considered what he should do, noting only he’d been having fantasies from decades ago. […]

Also posted in Drugs, Marijuana, Woodstock

Tales of Romance is Published

In compressed language George Thomas Clark presents “Tales of Romance,” a compilation of short stories and creative columns about relationships between men and women. The four chapters are Dating, Swingers, Issues, and Breakups. The book is comprised of 50 new stories and 12 from the critically acclaimed collection “The Bold Investor.” There are many highlights […]

Also posted in Dating, George Thomas Clark, Sex, Tales of Romance

Widowhood

This story is now in the collection “Tales of Romance”

Also posted in Widow-Widower

Slab Man

My husband left me last night not for another woman but because he just found out I loved his best friend but that shouldn’t have mattered much since that guy’d dumped me a couple of weeks earlier. I sure was feeling bad this afternoon and told my boss I had a fever and needed to […]

Also posted in Infidelity, Mental Health, Painters, Sculptors, Stanford University

Crazy Return to Golf

I didn’t know whether to blame Jason Day or Davis Love so I rebuked both for casting a curse I thought would never return. Only in hindsight did I realize I should’ve blamed myself. I’d chosen not to write or go out and do something fun on a recent Sunday, and instead reclined on the […]

Also posted in Bakersfield, George Thomas Clark, Golf, Weather

Sarah Palin v. Michele Bachmann

I’m not a superrich Republican donor but am affluent and generous, and delighted conservative heavyweights consider me a worthy host of this fundraiser starring Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann who I sit between on the dais, turning left to Sarah and right to Michele back and forth talking to women who get prettier and more […]

Also posted in Boxing, Conservatives, Homosexuals, Michele Bachmann, Republicans, Todd Palin

Nobel Prize Knockout

That evening in Mexico City I witnessed a historical confrontation or, rather, a sucker punch in the dastardly vein of Pearl Harbor. At the time, as a callow young man teaching English in the exotic capital, I understood nothing of the significance of the event, and no one could have known – though some scholars […]

Also posted in Barcelona, Boxing, Colombia, Cuba, Fidel Castro, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Mario Vargas Llosa, Peru, Sex, Writers

Hillary Clinton v. Monica Lewinsky

I’m laughing when not growling about what Republicans, rather pathetically, are praying is true about me, that I’m fat and sickly and incapable of campaigning a week much less a year, and my book is selling poorly, and, most outrageously, that both the ghostly and earthly presence of Monica Lewinsky will preclude me from defeating […]

Also posted in Bill Clinton, Boxing, Hillary Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, Sex

Saudi Woman Driver

Last night as aroused husband attempted to mount I closed legs and said, “Give me the keys. I’ve places to go in the morning.” “I’ll take you.” “You’ll be at work.” “My brother’ll drive.” “He’ll be late if he comes at all. Give me the keys.” “You can’t drive. It’s contrary to Saudi law and […]

Also posted in Cars & Driving, Saudi Arabia, Short Pieces - GTC

Back Yard Hole

What’re you doing home, Fred, wife said. Sick of job. How’ll we live. Fred didn’t answer. He grabbed shovel in garage, put on work gloves, walked into back yard, and started digging. He dug fast, heaving dirt far as possible, and hole got wide and deep by sundown. What in God’s name, said wife. Fred […]

Also posted in Housing, Short Pieces - GTC

Noisy Night

This story is now in the collection “Tales of Romance”

Also posted in Animals, Rats, Short Pieces - GTC

Slots

Sarah didn’t enjoy husband, family, or friends and had no interests save gambling and was happy to live near casino she rushed to three, four, five times weekly and pushed credit card into slots she played hours, stopping only to curse rigged system. She said this was best part of life so didn’t mind burning […]

Also posted in Economics, Friendship, Gambling, Mental Health

Car Talk

Jim and Evelyn were lost in new town. Damn it, stop and get directions. He turned and said, button up while I’m driving, and pickup truck on big wheels ended discussion.

Also posted in Cars & Driving, Short Pieces - GTC

Waiting Room

Waiting room roar: she cheats so does he they’re divorcing and lucky to escape. You can’t. Doctor always late and secretary refuses to shoot TV.

Also posted in Divorce, Doctors, Health, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC

Next Door

This story is now in the collection “Tales of Romance”

Also posted in Families, Prostitution, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC

Honeymoon

This story is now in the collection “Tales of Romance”

Also posted in Dating, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC

Child Bride

This story is now in the collection “Tales of Romance”

Also posted in Children, Divorce, Religion, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC

Young Killers

George and Lillian slept together first fifty years of marriage but medical problems and age prompted to establish separate bedrooms and that’s where they’d gone night ten years later. They didn’t hear forced entry through door but Lillian heard George say, here’s wallet, take what you want, just don’t hurt us. She also heard George […]

Also posted in Aging, Murder, Short Pieces - GTC

Sleep Issues

Driving elbow into ribs, Patti said, “Quit snoring.” As Bill did not waken, she drilled again. “What hell?” “You’re ruining sleep.” “You don’t sleep,” he said. “Because you always roll around and snort like pig.” “That’s not why.” “Go to guest bedroom.” Bill complied and was soon snoring. Patti stared at dark ceiling and wondered […]

Also posted in Health, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC, Sleep

Architectural Delight

This story is now in the collection “Tales of Romance”

Also posted in Architecture, Frank Lloyd Wright, Hollywood, Los Angeles, Murder, Short Pieces - GTC

Elegant Quito Home of Maria Augusta Urrutia

I tell the taxi driver I’m looking for a splendid residence in downtown Quito, and he drives me into the historical center and to the home of Maria Augusta Urrutia. From outside, the house, though two tall stories, looks rather small and narrow, cramped by contiguous buildings, but upon entering I see a courtyard and […]

Also posted in Art, Charity, Ecuador, Maria Augusta Urrutia, Painters, Poverty, Quito, Victor Mideros

Our Final Days

Early on a Saturday morning in late June my stepfather, age eighty-seven and already weakening, suffered a stroke that rendered him unconscious. Inside a large hospital emergency room the only doctor on duty was too busy to look closely, so a few nurses and technicians strongly sedated him, stuck a tube down his throat and […]

Also posted in Aging, Families, Hospitals

Crime Scene

going to drive by house down street want to come what house said wife where those three people were shot last night that’s disgusting

Also posted in Crime, Murder, Poetry - GTC

Ugandan Birth Control

ugandan mother of seven declines birth control so husband won’t beat again

Also posted in Africa, Birth Control, Families, Uganda

Electric Razor

Bob and stepfather didn’t get along but Bob always admired man’s affluence and, recently, fancy new electric razor. Before school, when it hummed, Bob knew couldn’t borrow razor. He’d only have access when old man was out running company. On easy afternoon Bob checked mother wasn’t lurking, and then rushed into master bathroom, plugged in […]

Also posted in Divorce, Families, Short Pieces - GTC

Iron Women

iron curtain lifted and shoved into bones of women looking west

Also posted in Communism, Economics, Europe, Immigration, Mental Health, Poetry - GTC

Ambitious Diet

much younger wife serves spicy meals and strong drinks

Also posted in Alcohol, Diet, Food, Poetry - GTC

Bobby Brown – The Whole Truth

Before presenting what Bobby Brown allegedly said and did, I must explain this book was originally conceived as an autobiography and author Derrick Handspike, according to his account, hung out with and interviewed the singer for a year, diligently wrote the book, and later squirmed as Brown and his advisers delayed final preparations for publication. […]

Also posted in Alcohol, Bobby Brown, Cocaine, Drugs, Families, Heroin, Music, Whitney Houston

Church Service – Part 2

This story is now in the collection “Tales of Romance”

Also posted in Dating, Education, Immigration, Poetry - GTC, Religion

Not Married?

why aren’t you married don’t know maybe insomnia you must be oddball let’s see your wife

Also posted in Poetry - GTC

Criminal Justice in Islam

In blighted but affordable east Bakersfield old bank transformed into new mosque hosts annual Islamic Conference where keynote speaker Main Al-Qudah, PhD in Islamic law and imam at large mosque in Houston, steps to podium. He’s slim, stern, middle-aged, dressed in suit and tie, and resembles prosecutor as power points to screen bearing principles of […]

Also posted in Alcohol, Bakersfield, Crime, Drugs, Islam, Jordan, Main Al-Qudah, Middle East, Rape, Religion, Saudi Arabia

Arnold Schwarzenegger Must be President

I know many of you believe I failed as Governor of California and am now indisputably a cur since I fathered a child, now age thirteen, with a member of my domestic household staff. You sympathize with my wife, Maria Shriver, because she long endured my infidelities and didn’t learn of this one until recently, […]

Also posted in Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barack Obama, Bodybuilding, California, Debt, Economics, George W. Bush, Maria Shriver, Movies, Real Estate

Refuting Andre Dubus

An acquaintance who’s a stripper in the hardscrabble Merrimack River valley north of Boston recently invited me to her club to meet a man called Devin Wallace in the memoir “Townie” by Andre Dubus III, son of the esteemed short story writer, now deceased, and himself an author of three novels and a collection of […]

Also posted in Andre Dubus, Boston, Housing, Massachusetts, Movies, Neighborhoods, Writers

Betty Finch Transforms Gourds into Sculptures

I’ve long been collecting art with enthusiasm many call obsessive but confess to being indifferent when notified by postcard last month that the Bakersfield Museum of Art would be featuring an exhibition of gourd sculptures by retired police officer Betty Finch. What the hell is a gourd? I’d heard of people drinking from them but […]

Also posted in Art, Bakersfield, Betty Finch, Homeless, Painters, Sculptors

Hypocrites Still Attacking Tiger Woods

I am honored today to speak for the greatest, most powerful and God-fearing creatures who have yet graced the earth, the white American male. For three months now we have been in the throes of moral outrage because Tiger Woods, after years of profitably portraying himself as a dedicated and monogamous family man, was revealed […]

Also posted in Golf, Sex, Tiger Woods

Reversing Elin and Tiger Woods

Beautiful Elin Woods, the Athlete of the Decade and, perhaps more significantly, the most compelling entertainer on earth, remains in isolation and is quite depressed.  One understands why.  For thirteen years, until the early and dangerous hours after Thanksgiving Day, Elin had stridden the world’s golf courses as unrivalled queen, and her corporate dominance was […]

Also posted in Golf, Sex, Tiger Woods

How Tiger Woods Should Respond

Until recent revelations of my weakness for young white female flesh, and the overwhelming moral outrage that followed, I thought in a sexual sense I was a relatively normal guy, that is one ready to squeeze any appealing woman who beckoned.  Now, sadly, after reading countless rabid condemnations in the press and blogosphere and cringing […]

Also posted in Golf, Sex, Tiger Woods

Management Teams Clarifies Adventures of Tiger Woods

Bulletins from TigerWoods.com Saturday November 28, 11:30 a.m. It is untrue that Tiger Woods is having an affair with a striking New York City celebrity chaser, Rachel Uchitel, and therefore it is a lie that his wife Elin attacked him for so doing.  About 2:25 a.m. Friday November 27, after failing to properly digest turkey […]

Also posted in Golf, Sex, Tiger Woods