John F. Kennedy

Fidel Castro v. Che Guevara

October 9, 2015

I didn’t force Che Guevara to leave Cuba. That’s yanqui propaganda designed to impugn my loyalty and judgment and decency. I’ve loved Che since meeting him in Mexico City before the Revolución and admired him more than anyone because more than anyone I’d benefitted from his extraordinary talents. He accompanied Raul and me and eighty-two…

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Outraged by Castro-Loving Obama

December 18, 2014

Thank God our Republican Party is now resolved to prevent the worst president in history, Barack Hussein Obama, from normalizing relations with Cuba. How dare he try to throw our nation in bed with Caribbean communists and characterize our Cuban policy of more than fifty years as being outdated and a failure? It has been…

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Nikita Khrushchev Explains

March 19, 2014

Don’t blame me Vladimir Putin’s grabbing the Crimea sixty years after I bestowed that lovely peninsula on Ukraine, the great Russian Breadbasket where I’d forged my political career and found a bride. Listen to my son, Sergei. He’s a wizard in computers and missiles and holds multiple advanced degrees and teaches at Brown University and…

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Update JFK

May 18, 2013

Mister President sorry to reveal Bobby was assassinated in sixty-eight right after winning California primary. Jackie fled to marry Aristotle Onassis and died of cancer at age sixty-four. Dashing John John was popular but crashed plane when only thirty-eight. Caroline’s fine but says you know a lot.

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Richard Nixon Where Are You

February 12, 2012

Richard Nixon called his first congressional opponent a commie, in ‘fifty senatorial race painted Helen Gahagan Duglas pink before trouncing her, and as vice president under Eisenhower snuggled with Joe McCarthy. By late ‘fifties he already wanted to invade Castro’s Cuba which however imperfect had just freed itself from American lackey Batista. After losing, perhaps…

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Updates for John F. Kennedy

January 24, 2012

mister president sorry to tell you bobby assassinated in ‘sixty eight right after winning california primary jackie fled to marry aristotle onassis died of cancer age sixty four john john dashing and popular but crashed plane age thirty eight caroline fine but says you know a lot

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