Barack Obama
Feature Published about My Career
Jamie H. Vaught of KySportsStyle.com Magazine just posted a feature about my career. Here is the first paragraph and a link to the magazine: “When I contacted author George Thomas ‘Tom’ Clark about his recently-published books, I was stunned to learn that he was originally from Kentucky and partially grew up in Bowling Green. It’s…
Read MoreYoung Rush Limbaugh
Back in 1987 Sacramento I had my own indoor half-court basketball gym and after shooting and exercising for about an hour in late afternoons I’d often relax in the living room, drinking cold water and watching the news. I preferred national reports but sometimes turned to local news and noted this mid-thirties guy with a…
Read MoreOBAMA ON EDGE: Creative Expressions from a Historic Time
In these satirical columns written from 2007 to 2012, Barack Obama’s African grandfather espouses pride and aggressive self-defense. His father discusses academic success, family difficulties, and a tragic drinking problem. Young Obama reveals his struggle to control vices and establish racial identity. Then the soaring young politician offers incisive comments about politics, international relations, the…
Read MoreCastro Brothers Collide
Can you imagine my tiny brother, President Raul Castro, who would’ve cut sugar cane if not for my political power, ordering me to stay home during Barack Obama’s historic trip to Cuba? I am still the embodiment of the Cuban Revolution. I am still, at least spiritually, the commander in chief. It is I, far…
Read MoreSaddam Confronts Netanyahu
After Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s most recent sermon to the Congress of the United States, he marched into his palatial D.C. hotel suite where Saddam Hussein romped with several robust young women. The political titans excused their guests and bodyguards, and this conversation, preserved by a Mossad recording device, followed: Benjamin Netanyahu – What the…
Read MoreFidel Meets Marco Rubio
At a time and location neither man will acknowledge, Fidel Castro, age eighty-eight but still a political stalwart even in semi-retirement, shakes hands with United States Senator Marco Rubio, who’s half his age. “Mucho gusto,” Fidel says. “I’m proud you’ve done so well in American politics.” “If you hadn’t forced countless citizens into exile, I’d…
Read MoreOutraged by Castro-Loving Obama
Thank God our Republican Party is now resolved to prevent the worst president in history, Barack Hussein Obama, from normalizing relations with Cuba. How dare he try to throw our nation in bed with Caribbean communists and characterize our Cuban policy of more than fifty years as being outdated and a failure? It has been…
Read MoreSaddam Counters Islamic State
Thankfully I’m an empathetic man or I would’ve hammered my driver into the head of the flunky who interrupted my backswing on the gorgeous eighteenth tee at Doral. He said he was an aide to President Barack Obama and urged me to help save Iraq and the Middle East and vital American and Israeli interests.…
Read MoreNorth Korean Explains Race
We the happy and well-fed people of North Korea must maintain our racial purity lest we become like the suffering, ill-shaped barbarians who surround this paradise created by divine Kim Jong-Un and his father and grandfather. Ignore those who’re starving in our country. Don’t worry about those who’ve disappeared. Their blood was tainted by inferior…
Read MoreAlcohol v. Pot
I was a happy tourist at the pinnacle of Washington’s Monument when I became woozy and awakened an indeterminate time later in a dungeon. God, kidnapped by terrorists, I thought but reconsidered when several white males, attired in green surgical gowns, marched in and one said, “Experimentation will begin when the chief returns.” “Who’s he…
Read MoreRand Paul in Berkeley
You aren’t going to get me to admit it, so quit trying. I never said blacks shouldn’t be served in any restaurant they choose. I said owners can’t be denied the right to serve only those they want, and no government should interfere. That would be tyranny. I’ll tell you how to deter tyrannical politicians.…
Read MorePutin Warns the West
Don’t call me shorty or I’ll throw you over my hip. I’m a superpower leader ready to protect the Russian people who’ve so often been “not merely robbed but plundered” by such heathens as Napoleon, Hitler, Bush father and son, Clinton, and Obama, the latter four deluded Americans who claim God wants them to “determine…
Read MorePutin on Syrian Gas
Let’s be honest. I’m shrewdest politician in world. I maneuver into many terms as president, deftly gag dissenters, jail Pussy Riot female rockers who belittle Christ, and now I write columns for New York Times. If life weren’t so good in Russia I’d move to Big Apple and comment full-time. I have special insight into…
Read MorePutin to Host Snowden
I shall be delighted to host freedom fighter Edward Snowden not only in Russia but in dacha. He’s brave young man to reveal American colossus, through NSA and other insidious organizations, is recording every conversation, email, and indeed every thought of every citizen in hyper-aggressive, homosexual-loving country. Those who call me intelligence-gobbling hypocrite, since I…
Read MoreMichelle Intervenes
“Barack, what’s that smell?” “Just new cleanser they’re using.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah.” “Open this door.” “Can’t, the vice president and I are resolving the immigration and Syrian crises.” “You’re profaning the Oval Office as well as disobeying my directives.” “I’m doing no such thing.” “You think I don’t know.” “How could you?” “I had…
Read MoreSoothing Barack
“Mr. President, you’ve been quite tense.” “Since when?” “Last five years or so.” “Be thankful you bear not my burden, Joe.” “I am, but I’ll have to unless you mellow out.” “I work out, play golf, spend quality time with the wife. What else can I do?” Joe smiled and presented a perfectly rolled cigarette.…
Read MoreNew Taliban
To everyone we say relax. We’ve changed and are now using social media. Friend us on Facebook. We deserve support. We’re not going to let anyone use Afghan soil to prepare an attack on other countries. We need peace. We’ve been fighting since birth. We’ll even talk to Obama and puppet Karzai. We’ll talk to…
Read MoreDick Cheney Speaks
Thank God I’m healthy and on TV to warn Barack Obama is lousy president and responsible for IRS persecuting conservatives and terrorists murdering several Americans in Benghazi. I, by contrast, am proud national security expert who protected you on 9/11 and strategic wizard who more than anyone, except underling President Bush, saved American lives by…
Read MoreBarack Marijuana
Flanked by secret service agents I entered Oval Office and was stunned to see several people circled around presidential desk, inhaling, coughing, and passing pungent marijuana. As female aide placed joint to lips President Barack Obama lunged by three people, snatched smoke from her hands, shouted, “Intercepted,” and took deep drag he long held, as…
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