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Category Archives: Barack Obama

Feature Published about My Career

Jamie H. Vaught of KySportsStyle.com Magazine just posted a feature about my career. Here is the first paragraph and a link to the magazine: “When I contacted author George Thomas ‘Tom’ Clark about his recently-published books, I was stunned to learn that he was originally from Kentucky and partially grew up in Bowling Green. It’s […]

Also posted in Basketball and Football, Echoes from Saddam Hussein, George Thomas Clark, Movies, They Make Movies

Young Rush Limbaugh

Back in 1987 Sacramento I had my own indoor half-court basketball gym and after shooting and exercising for about an hour in late afternoons I’d often relax in the living room, drinking cold water and watching the news. I preferred national reports but sometimes turned to local news and noted this mid-thirties guy with a […]

Also posted in George W. Bush, Racism, Radio, Rush Limbaugh, Sacramento

OBAMA ON EDGE: Creative Expressions from a Historic Time

In these satirical columns written from 2007 to 2012, Barack Obama’s African grandfather espouses pride and aggressive self-defense. His father discusses academic success, family difficulties, and a tragic drinking problem. Young Obama reveals his struggle to control vices and establish racial identity. Then the soaring young politician offers incisive comments about politics, international relations, the […]

Also posted in John McCain, Mitt Romney, Obama on Edge, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity

Castro Brothers Collide

Can you imagine my tiny brother, President Raul Castro, who would’ve cut sugar cane if not for my political power, ordering me to stay home during Barack Obama’s historic trip to Cuba? I am still the embodiment of the Cuban Revolution. I am still, at least spiritually, the commander in chief. It is I, far […]

Also posted in Cuba, Fidel Castro, Raul Castro

Netanyahu Campaigns in America

Thank you very much, and thank all the Americans who have so generously amended their constitution to permit me, a man not native to this great country but who in many ways is inherently American, to try to achieve my greatest dream and become your president. I deserve your votes, and in fact am now […]

Also posted in Benjamin Netanyahu, Campaign 2016, Gaza, Israel, Middle East, Palestine

Saddam Confronts Netanyahu

After Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s most recent sermon to the Congress of the United States, he marched into his palatial D.C. hotel suite where Saddam Hussein romped with several robust young women. The political titans excused their guests and bodyguards, and this conversation, preserved by a Mossad recording device, followed: Benjamin Netanyahu – What the […]

Also posted in Benjamin Netanyahu, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Nuclear Weapons, Saddam Hussein, Vietnam

Fidel Meets Marco Rubio

At a time and location neither man will acknowledge, Fidel Castro, age eighty-eight but still a political stalwart even in semi-retirement, shakes hands with United States Senator Marco Rubio, who’s half his age. “Mucho gusto,” Fidel says. “I’m proud you’ve done so well in American politics.” “If you hadn’t forced countless citizens into exile, I’d […]

Also posted in Campaign 2016, Cuba, Fidel Castro, Florida, Marco Rubio, Raul Castro

Outraged by Castro-Loving Obama

Thank God our Republican Party is now resolved to prevent the worst president in history, Barack Hussein Obama, from normalizing relations with Cuba. How dare he try to throw our nation in bed with Caribbean communists and characterize our Cuban policy of more than fifty years as being outdated and a failure? It has been […]

Also posted in Communism, Conservatives, Cuba, Dwight Eisenhower, Fidel Castro, Florida, John F. Kennedy, Marco Rubio, Raul Castro, Richard Nixon

Saddam Counters Islamic State

Thankfully I’m an empathetic man or I would’ve hammered my driver into the head of the flunky who interrupted my backswing on the gorgeous eighteenth tee at Doral. He said he was an aide to President Barack Obama and urged me to help save Iraq and the Middle East and vital American and Israeli interests. […]

Also posted in George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, Iran, Iraq, ISIS, Middle East, Ronald Reagan, Saddam Hussein, Turkey

North Korean Explains Race

We the happy and well-fed people of North Korea must maintain our racial purity lest we become like the suffering, ill-shaped barbarians who surround this paradise created by divine Kim Jong-Un and his father and grandfather. Ignore those who’re starving in our country. Don’t worry about those who’ve disappeared. Their blood was tainted by inferior […]

Also posted in Basketball, Dennis Rodman, Kim Jong-Il, Korea, Racism

Alcohol v. Pot

I was a happy tourist at the pinnacle of Washington’s Monument when I became woozy and awakened an indeterminate time later in a dungeon. God, kidnapped by terrorists, I thought but reconsidered when several white males, attired in green surgical gowns, marched in and one said, “Experimentation will begin when the chief returns.” “Who’s he […]

Also posted in Alcohol, Basketball, Drugs, Kevin Durant, Lebron James, Marijuana

Rand Paul in Berkeley

You aren’t going to get me to admit it, so quit trying. I never said blacks shouldn’t be served in any restaurant they choose. I said owners can’t be denied the right to serve only those they want, and no government should interfere. That would be tyranny. I’ll tell you how to deter tyrannical politicians. […]

Also posted in Berkeley, CIA, NSA, Rand Paul, Republicans, UC Berkeley

Putin Warns the West

Don’t call me shorty or I’ll throw you over my hip. I’m a superpower leader ready to protect the Russian people who’ve so often been “not merely robbed but plundered” by such heathens as Napoleon, Hitler, Bush father and son, Clinton, and Obama, the latter four deluded Americans who claim God wants them to “determine […]

Also posted in Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty, Crimea, NATO, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Soviet Union, Ukraine, Vladimir Putin, Warsaw Pact

Putin on Syrian Gas

Let’s be honest. I’m shrewdest politician in world. I maneuver into many terms as president, deftly gag dissenters, jail Pussy Riot female rockers who belittle Christ, and now I write columns for New York Times. If life weren’t so good in Russia I’d move to Big Apple and comment full-time. I have special insight into […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Pussy Riot, Russia, Short Pieces - GTC, Syria, Vladimir Putin

Putin to Host Snowden

I shall be delighted to host freedom fighter Edward Snowden not only in Russia but in dacha. He’s brave young man to reveal American colossus, through NSA and other insidious organizations, is recording every conversation, email, and indeed every thought of every citizen in hyper-aggressive, homosexual-loving country. Those who call me intelligence-gobbling hypocrite, since I […]

Also posted in Edward Snowden, KGB, NSA, Russia, Vladimir Putin

Michelle Intervenes

“Barack, what’s that smell?” “Just new cleanser they’re using.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah.” “Open this door.” “Can’t, the vice president and I are resolving the immigration and Syrian crises.” “You’re profaning the Oval Office as well as disobeying my directives.” “I’m doing no such thing.” “You think I don’t know.” “How could you?” “I had […]

Also posted in Joe Biden, Marijuana, Michelle Obama

Soothing Barack

“Mr. President, you’ve been quite tense.” “Since when?” “Last five years or so.” “Be thankful you bear not my burden, Joe.” “I am, but I’ll have to unless you mellow out.” “I work out, play golf, spend quality time with the wife. What else can I do?” Joe smiled and presented a perfectly rolled cigarette. […]

Also posted in Joe Biden, Marijuana, Short Pieces - GTC

New Taliban

To everyone we say relax. We’ve changed and are now using social media. Friend us on Facebook. We deserve support. We’re not going to let anyone use Afghan soil to prepare an attack on other countries. We need peace. We’ve been fighting since birth. We’ll even talk to Obama and puppet Karzai. We’ll talk to […]

Also posted in Afghanistan, Facebook, Hamid Karzai, Short Pieces - GTC

Dick Cheney Speaks

Thank God I’m healthy and on TV to warn Barack Obama is lousy president and responsible for IRS persecuting conservatives and terrorists murdering several Americans in Benghazi. I, by contrast, am proud national security expert who protected you on 9/11 and strategic wizard who more than anyone, except underling President Bush, saved American lives by […]

Also posted in Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Iraq, Libya, Short Pieces - GTC, Taxes

Barack Marijuana

Flanked by secret service agents I entered Oval Office and was stunned to see several people circled around presidential desk, inhaling, coughing, and passing pungent marijuana. As female aide placed joint to lips President Barack Obama lunged by three people, snatched smoke from her hands, shouted, “Intercepted,” and took deep drag he long held, as […]

Also posted in Drugs, Marijuana, Politics, Short Pieces - GTC, Tobacco

State of the Union

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Afghanistan, Campaign 2012, Economics, George S. Patton, George W. Bush, Immigration, Iran, Iraq, Lyndon Johnson, Mexico, Mitt Romney, Nuclear Weapons, Poetry - GTC, Richard Nixon

Limbaugh Loves Kony

As child like thousands in Uganda I was kidnapped by Lord’s Resistance Army of Joseph Kony and tortured and raped and brainwashed for years as thousands died and am confused why free American radio talker Rush Limbaugh calls Joseph Kony Christian and attacks Barack Obama for trying to help us and through mangled lips I […]

Also posted in Africa, Brainwashing, Child Molestation, Cults, Joseph Kony, Media, Nazis, Poetry - GTC, Racism, Radio, Rape, Rush Limbaugh, Uganda

Michelle Obama Arms

your long arms squeeze

Also posted in Michelle Obama, Poetry - GTC, Politics, Sex

Hank Williams, Please

hank williams please goose step to a mirror before belching hitler

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Conservatives, Hank Williams, Music, Poetry - GTC, Politics, Republicans

Getting to Madrid

My journey to Madrid began on a Sunday morning as I drove from blistering Bakersfield down Highway 99 toward Los Angeles and punched sports talk radio but heard an ESPN guy strain to be funny and cool but sounding lame: most jockeys lack comedic skills and can’t sustain the purported subject matter of their shows. […]

Also posted in Bakersfield, Dennis Miller, George Thomas Clark, George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Madrid, Madrid Vacation, Mexico, Michelle Williams, Movies, Pornography, Radio, Ryan Gossling, Spain, Travel

Arnold Schwarzenegger Must be President

I know many of you believe I failed as Governor of California and am now indisputably a cur since I fathered a child, now age thirteen, with a member of my domestic household staff. You sympathize with my wife, Maria Shriver, because she long endured my infidelities and didn’t learn of this one until recently, […]

Also posted in Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bodybuilding, California, Debt, Economics, George W. Bush, Maria Shriver, Marriage, Movies, Real Estate

Egomania Inside and Outside Libya

Let’s remember that Muammar Gaddafi is not the only egomaniac threatening to destroy the liberation movement of the Libyan people. While Gaddafi, using tanks and planes and semi-professional troops against brave but untrained and lightly-armed patriots, is starting to build momentum by regaining some recently-lost cities and territory, there are reports the dictator may be […]

Also posted in Libya, Middle East, Muammar Gaddafi, Saudi Arabia

Franklin Roosevelt’s Assessments on the 70th Anniversary of World War II

Too often, I think, my fellow Americans view World War II as having begun that frightful Sunday morning December seventh, 1941 when carrier-based Japanese warplanes, in an unprovoked and dastardly attack on the United States fleet in Pearl Harbor, killed two thousand four hundred people, destroyed or damaged fifteen warships, and demolished almost two hundred […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Franklin Roosevelt, George W. Bush, Middle East, Terrorism

Billie Holiday Visits Young Obama

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Alcohol, Billie Holiday, Drugs, Music

Obama Activists Target Graffiti

The afternoon before President Barack Obama raised his right hand and strode into history, a few thousand action groups, summoned by an email Obama transmitted through his website, gathered in communities across the nation for the spiritual purpose of expressing unity and the utilitarian one of helping to rebuild a crumbling infrastructure.  In Bakersfield, California […]

Also posted in George Thomas Clark, Internet, Politics, Poverty

Lessening Political Addictions

My brain’s a self-flogged chunk of meat and my nerves tight because the Electoral College is an undemocratic and grievous institution that, to understand, requires daily tracking of polls in critical states.  Tabulating popular votes would be fair and easy, but the system insists it’s better to stew about who’ll get winner-grab-all electoral votes and […]

Also posted in Barry Goldwater, Electoral College, John McCain, Lyndon Johnson, Norman Mailer

Sarah Palin’s Biography in 2064

In honor of Sarah Palin, who would have been one-hundred years old this year, Shotgun Books is releasing Palin: Maverick, Stateswoman, and Mom.  The first chapter follows: Not since the evening Richard Nixon resigned more than three decades earlier had Republicans so dreaded a night as October second, 2008.  Even Democrats reached with trepidation for […]

Also posted in Alaska, Campaign 2008, Joe Biden, Joe Six Pack, John McCain, Sarah Palin