Vladamir Putin
Putin’s Grand Strategy – 16
The Americans are eternal enemies striving to surround my cold and tattered but still great Russian Empire. Their latest lies can be read in a thousand places. Here I will simply cite a few of the most outrageous accusations from a recent Associated Press article. Instead of thanking me for pulling my troops back from…
Read MoreHeavy Load – 15
A phone rings on the desk in his Kremlin office and he answers and says, “Hello, sweetheart.” “Have you seen that interview?” she asks. “Which one?” “The one from Ukraine.” “You’re not supposed to watch foreign propaganda.” “You need to see it.” He exhales hard and asks, “Why?” “Because I can feel it’s true.” “I…
Read MorePutin’s Grand Plan – 14
Backed by a huge wall map, Vladimir Putin stands before a few trusted generals and advisors, and states, “We must regard my following strategic statements as top secret and essential to our survival.” They look attentively at their leader. “Once we’ve captured all enemy territory on the Black Sea, we will subjugate Moldova and let…
Read MoreRally in Moscow – 13
The factory director tells us we won’t be working any more today because we have a special surprise. We’re going to our beautiful national stadium to hear a speech by the great Vladimir Putin who’s been our powerful president since before I could walk. A few people say they don’t want to go and that’s…
Read MoreKlitschko to Russia – 9
(Mayor of Kyiv Vitali Klitschko addressed the Russian people in a YouTube video posted on March 11, 2022. Highlights and minor additions follow below.) I’ll tell you in Russian that your unprovoked attack on my country is barbarism based on absolute propaganda and nonsense. You’re arrogant to tell us we’re not a nation and spread…
Read MoreChemical Weapons – 8
All the time I hear Western reports that I’m tense and not as sharp or in control as I used to be. I guarantee that’s fake news. I’m a physical and mental fortress who’s always understood how to defeat enemies. Twenty years ago Chechen rebels used chemical weapons against us and I ordered our forces…
Read MoreGoing Home – 6
I wasn’t planning to join the army but don’t sweat it when they draft me since I’m an unemployed nineteen year old guy looking for something in life. During basic training the drill instructors scream all the time and make us do a lot of extra marches and exercises but when that ends they tell…
Read MoreWinter War – 4
In memory of our Finnish soldiers’ brave and skillful resistance against Russian invaders in late 1939, I am delighted, as a current media member in our Defence Ministry, to post this notice on our official website: “On the proposal of the Government, the President of the Republic decided today that Finland will deliver two thousand…
Read MoreConference Call – 2
A deferential aide approaches Vladimir Putin and, after being summoned closer, bends to whisper in his ear. “Tell him I’m quite busy,” he says, but a few seconds later he stands. “Okay, I’ll take the call in private. Excuse me, gentlemen.” Putin walks to a nearby room, closes the double doors, and picks up the…
Read MorePutin Invades Ukraine – 1
Yes, I am a patriot. I love my country, what remains of it after the tragic dissolution of the Soviet Union, and as the democratic president for life of Russia I’m obligated to preserve our Motherland and, frankly, liberate as much lost territory as possible. If I act with less foresight, hordes from the West…
Read More“Down Goes Trump” is Published
The four-year wait has ended. George Thomas Clark just released his superb account of the four-year administration of President Donald Trump – Down Goes Trump Introduction Down Goes Trump is a collection of satirical stories, based on news, about the entertaining but absurd and often quite dangerous events following the election of President Donald J.…
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