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Category Archives: Kim Jong-Il

Colonel von Stauffenberg Discusses Kim Jong Un

This young man asks what many people have: “Colonel von Stauffenberg, what should the North Koreans do?” By that he naturally means what should the military officers do? “It will likely be up to the colonels,” I say. “Generals have usually lost their youth and vigor while gaining power and prestige. If a lower ranking […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Claus von Stauffenberg, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nuclear Weapons, World War II

North Korean Explains Race

We the happy and well-fed people of North Korea must maintain our racial purity lest we become like the suffering, ill-shaped barbarians who surround this paradise created by divine Kim Jong-Un and his father and grandfather. Ignore those who’re starving in our country. Don’t worry about those who’ve disappeared. Their blood was tainted by inferior […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Basketball, Dennis Rodman, Korea, Racism

Kim Jong Un Betrayed by Uncle

I don’t care what they say in other countries. They now understand I really do control everything inside North Korea. My revered father, Kim Jong-Il, had entrusted his sister’s husband, Jang Song Thaek, to tutor me in diplomacy and military science but instead of treating me as a prodigy he often smirked, even after I […]

Also posted in Communism, Kim Jong-Un, Korea

Kim Jong Un Executes Girlfriend

I am physical and spiritual protector of nation and that’s only reason I ordered execution of ex-girlfriend and eleven other preserve members of orchestras I’d trusted to honorably entertain citizens. This has nothing to do with wife, former member of same orchestra, being jealous. This has nothing to do with immoral singer saying I’m fat […]

Also posted in Henry VIII, Kim Jong-Un, Korea

Super Kim Jong Un

I don’t fear starving people. They love my fat face. I worry about generals who pray I’m not tough as Father and Grandfather, generals who may want my place. They can’t have it. They’re learning I’m strongest Kim yet. I’ve already captured, jailed, and tortured North Korean fishermen, and fired missiles able to carry nuclear […]

Also posted in Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nuclear Weapons, Short Pieces - GTC

Korean Wail

tried to cry for kim jong il but could not my brother cried loudly but without dramatic skill now we rehearse in jail

Also posted in Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Poetry - GTC

Kim Jong-Il Attacks Again

Don’t dare celebrate Western exaggerations that my body’s withered by a stroke and my face twisted into a mask of fading comprehension. I’m still mighty Kim Jong-Il and determined to confront those who claim they’re blessed with freedom and nutrition but are in fact imperialistic criminals using economic sanctions to punish my starving North Korean […]

Also posted in Asia, China, Iran, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nuclear Weapons

Kim Jong Il Celebrates Sixty Years of War

I am in splendid health. Reports of my suffering strokes and other debilitating maladies are simply the delusions of enemies who refuse to admit that the great North Korean nation built by my late father, Kim Il Sung, and I is a fountain of wealth, happiness, and awesome military power. I recently celebrated my good […]

Also posted in Asia, Kim Il Sung, Korea, Nuclear Weapons