Bin Laden considered me extreme and sneered when I wrote, “At your service, Osama.” Good riddance. Al Qaeda’s irrelevant. Come and join Shabaab. I shall liberate all Muslims. As a prerequisite I’ve eliminated many former allies who were soft and didn’t understand we must ceaselessly destroy invading Kenyans and Somali traitors and foreign teachers and aid workers and anyone who listens to music or plays soccer. Transgressors may be shot, stoned, or hacked. People respect strength, and everyone in Somalia’s afraid of me. They know I’m a skilled accountant and jihadist who can recruit, and they admire my intellect and deep reading and poetry I recite about slaughtering infidels. They’re excited Shabaab killed and wounded almost three hundred in a Nairobi shopping mall. They’re certain I’ll fight until Somalia is free. And they’re impressed I’ll keep fighting all over the world. I can’t imagine life without war.