I am physical and spiritual protector of nation and that’s only reason I ordered execution of ex-girlfriend and eleven other preserve members of orchestras I’d trusted to honorably entertain citizens. This has nothing to do with wife, former member of same orchestra, being jealous. This has nothing to do with immoral singer saying I’m fat in face and belly and bad in bed. She never said that or would’ve been dead sooner. She did worse. She and other heathens had sex before cameras and sold sin, embarrassing all in North Korean paradise.
I was shocked. I was appalled. I ordered heathens herded into public death spot surrounded by relatives and orchestra members who watched machine guns cut them down. Bodies were then disposed of and relatives and musicians trucked to reeducation camps. After cleaning everything up, I used fat belly to pound wife and told not to cry. She knows I’m not Henry VIII.