I’m only fifteen but in jail and then out I can’t slow down and don’t want to everything’s moving so fast I have to fight fuck dance and talk and I love speeding in stolen cars and taking other things and get more excited in the ring. I’m so much quicker than opponents I belt whenever I want while dodging their punches and prancing away. I’m a father at sixteen when I start winning amateur titles and pound Bazooka Limon for the world junior lightweight championship at twenty-one. It’s really incredible all the girls tell me I’m so handsome and cool which I know I am so wired I can’t stop doing things to make me feel better that’s what coke does I do so much and tell friends and reporters I know I’m going out by bullets I think about that all the time. How are you going to die? I can’t wait I win the lightweight title at twenty-three I’m making millions I’m the macho man of boxing and keep winning at twenty-eight I’m thirty-eight and oh no one can beat me as I enter the ring in Roman armor or Indian headdress or fox fur robe. I’m way too tough for cops and guys in nightclubs I’m the macho man they rob giving Greg Haugen a split decision I get the title back three months later and at twenty-nine I’m in the showdown of Latin idols against plodding Julio Cesar Chavez. He can’t catch me he can’t keep catching me he can’t keep doing this he’s beating hell out of me they say I’m a runner I’m a dancer I don’t like to get hit. You like getting hit? I’m getting hit by everything Chavez has but don’t go down and keep fighting a lion who wins about every round but I raise my hands. I’m a warrior and still the pretty macho man and at thirty-one move up to welterweight and go after Felix Trinidad’s crown in a war for Puerto Rican rights they’re mine though I’m more from New York it doesn’t matter this guy’s eleven years younger and too big but can’t stop me. I keep fighting and winning and batter old legends Roberto Duran and Sugar Ray Leonard I love those guys they help me get ready at thirty-five to take on another Latin heartthrob Oscar de la Hoya who’s too young and slick and knocks me down but I get up no one’s stopping the macho man. I don’t lose for six years when I’m almost forty-one I’m not afraid and keep beating guys outside the ring and ladies still love me but they and my four sons and ex wife are expensive and coke’s worse and why I love it so much people don’t understand. Here try it and you’ll see how great it is. I’m almost forty-three and four times a world champion breaking into an electronics store for a payday that ends with my hands in cuffs and ecstasy confiscated but my lawyers keep me out of prison so I can hang out and snort more coke and get shot at in twenty-eleven and a month later I pick up one of my sons by the neck and slam before stomping him. We’ll fix that in court. What the hell I’ve got places in Florida and Puerto Rico and at fifty I’m loving life on the island and my buddy and I have ten packets of coke in his car and snort one and are ready to do lots more when I’m shot in the face by a guy you know’s too scared to step up and take on the macho man of boxing.