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Conservative International Action Plan

We don’t think the United States will soon cease having at least one war to fight, but we’re getting worried. The ungrateful Iraqis just booted us because we insisted our soldiers receive judicial immunity. That’s excruciating since we could’ve done more nation building and proselytizing. At least we’re still battling the Taliban as well as our traitorous allies in Afghanistan but weak-on-defense President Obama and soft generals under his influence are scheming to skedaddle, perhaps as early as late next year. Maybe we can just move our troops over into Pakistan, which is a lot more dangerous, anyway.

If that doesn’t work, and if Obama loses in November, I think we Republicans can convince all patriots that attacking Iran is necessary to destroy its nuclear weapons program. I hope they really have one. And I’m pretty sure they do. We don’t want any more Saddam mass destruction deals. And while bombing Iran we should also go next door and hammer Bashar al-Assad in Syria. Everyone but the Russians and Chinese wants that bastard out.

Some are frightened considering life without war, but I’m not worried. Last weekend Al Qaeda attacked an army base in Yemen and killed about two hundred soldiers, decapitating some of them. Hell, if Al Qaeda’s going to come out of its caves, compounds, and apartments and fight like men, then we sure as hell ought to invade Yemen. If we don’t, they may hit your town next.

A few conservative pessimists think because of the Arab Spring and all the rumbling for democracy we may eventually run out of wars in the Middle East and have to find conflicts elsewhere. That will be easy. We need to expand our naval capacity in the Pacific Ocean so we can blockade the Chinese. Some say that would be dangerous, expensive, and unnecessary. The same chickens said that about Vietnam.

I’m also hoping Vladimir Putin keeps trying to smother democracy in Russia and back bad guys like Assad. I know better than to pray for a shooting war with the Russians, but a Cold War would be gratifying until something small and hot heats up.

This entry was posted in Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, China, Cold War, Conservatives, Iran, Iraq, Middle East, Nuclear Weapons, Pacific Ocean, Republicans, Russia, Saddam Hussein, Syria, Taliban, Vladimir Putin.