Hey, I don’t like people saying I’m somehow responsible for the shooting of liberal congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and a bunch of other Democrats last week in Tucson, Arizona just because last year online I’d put her district and nineteen others in the crosshairs of an electoral rifle. That’s blood libel since, first of all, those were surveyor’s crosshairs like you see on maps and had nothing to do with guns. Gabrielle Giffords should’ve understood that and not complained about my map and me at the time. And, obviously, the day I posted the surveyor stuff – don’t forget George Washington was a surveyor – I wasn’t talking about guns when I tweeted, “Don’t retreat, Instead – Reload.” I meant aim that little telescope surveyor thing at another piece of political land to be, you know, surveyed. And my enemies are trying to misrepresent my message last November fourth, right after our great Tea Party landslide, when I tweeted, “Remember months ago ‘bullseye’ icon used 2 target the 20 Obamacare-lovin’ incumbent seats? We won 18 out of 20 (90% success rate, T’aint bad.”) Obviously, that was just more surveying lingo.
It’s just terrible the way liberals have been demonizing me for skeet shooting and moose hunting and halibut fishing and clubbing those flopping rascals before they bruised their meat. And where were liberal do-gooders when some gay guy in Los Angeles hung me in effigy during the 2008 campaign? And another guy compared my political rallies, where I aroused angry patriots who sometimes called Barack Obama a traitor and shouted to kill him, to the Nazi rallies at Nuremberg, wherever that is. I couldn’t stop my followers from saying what they felt because I didn’t try.
Poor Rush Limbaugh is also being viciously attacked for having a “Straight Shooter” billboard full of bullets holes in Tucson. Rush didn’t even know the billboard was there, and when he found out he said, “I thought – honest to God… whoever put the billboard up wanted to make it look like people that didn’t like me were shooting at the billboard.” Everyone’s firing at me and Rush and everyone else who’s trying to save the country from a bunch of terrorist-loving socialists.
And, come on, everyone now knows Jared Loughner was psychotic and had been obsessed with Gabby Giffords since 2007, at least a year before anyone outside Alaska knew who I was, and Loughner would’ve been committed to a mental institution if civil-liberty loons hadn’t made it tough for society to lock crackpots away. We’ve got to start locking up all the crazies. Otherwise they’re on the street looking to rob you or worse. And we’ve got to protect our rights to bear arms so we can protect ourselves from political enemies of the nation. That means keeping our right to bear powerful magazine clips with at least thirty rounds. You aren’t safe with less.