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“I really think I belong on Mt. Rushmore, don’t you,” Trump tells me. “I’m ten times the president Ronald Reagan was.”

“Most Americans would disagree with that,” I say. “Besides, Reagan isn’t on Mt. Rushmore.”

“I’m at least as great as Lincoln, and I’ve done so much more for blacks.”

“Again, Mr. President, a majority of our citizens would take exception to that, especially blacks.”

“It really bugs me so many blacks don’t understand what I’ve achieved for them economically. My face on Mt. Rushmore would remind everyone.”

“Your face might serve as quite a different reminder.”

“Listen, I love our great historical heroes, including those in the Confederacy, but I don’t think guys like Washington and Jefferson are any better than I am. I forgive them for owning slaves, but let’s remember I’ve never owned any.”

“That latter point is very much in your favor, Mr. President. But experts insist that structural difficulties preclude carving any more faces onto Mt. Rushmore.”

“Okay, then we can replace Teddy Roosevelt’s face with mine. Nobody really remembers what he did. I sure as hell don’t.”

This entry was posted in Abraham Lincoln, Donald Trump, George Washington, Mt. Rushmore, Ronald Reagan, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson.