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Spike Hosts WoodyFacebooktwitterlinkedinmail

“Woody, listen to this,” Soon-yi says, yanking his hand to stop on a Manhattan sidewalk and reading news on her cellphone. “Spike Lee says, ‘Woody Allen is a great, great filmmaker and this cancel thing is not just Woody. When we look back on it we are going to see that – short of killing somebody – I don’t know you just erase someone like they never existed.’”

He smiles and pulls her other hand and tries to keep walking.

“Let’s turn around,” she says. “Spike only lives a few blocks from here. Let’s go see him.”

“We can’t just drop in. We barely know him.”

Soon-yi shakes her head and says, “Check this out. ‘Woody is a friend of mine, a fellow short and bespectacled Knick fan, and I know he’s going through it right now.’ Come on, Woody.”

He waves a hand of surrender, and they change directions, guided by Soon-yi. In a short while they arrive at the mansion of Spike Lee and introduce themselves to a security guard who says, “Mr. Lee isn’t home right now. May I take a message?”

“Here’s Woody’s number,” says Soon-yi. “Please text Spike.”

The guard complies and Spike Lee soon calls and says, “Woody, perfect timing. Tonight’s the premiere of my latest, Da 5 Bloods. I’d be pleased if you and your wife can join us there.”

“I’m not sure if we can make it tonight, Spike.”

Soon-yi, learning toward the speaker, takes the phone from surprised hands and says, “Spike, we’d love to attend.”

“Great, we’ll save two seats next to my wife and me.”

That evening Woody puts on a black tux and bowtie and Soon-yi dons an elegant black dress baring her shoulders. Their driver deposits them in front of the auditorium adorned by spotlights and fans, and they introduce themselves to the doorman. He checks his list and says, “Sorry, but your names aren’t here.”

“We just talked to Spike this afternoon,” Soon-yi says. “Maybe he didn’t get the information to you in time.”

“I’ve got to go by what’s here, ma’am.”

Turning to Woody, Soon-yi orders, “Give me your cellphone.”

He hands it over and she dials Spike Lee. An automated voice directs her to voicemail. “Spike, Woody and I are out front. What’s going on? Please pick up.”

“No problem,” Woody says, “Let’s go home.”

Soon-yi examines Woody’s text messages and sees one from Spike that says, “Sorry, Woody, but got pressured from all over this afternoon and had to tweet this, ‘I Deeply Apologize. My Words Were WRONG. I Do Not And Will Not Tolerate Sexual Harassment, Assault Or Violence. Such Treatment Causes Real Damage That Can’t Be Minimized. – Truly, Spike Lee.’”

Tapping reply, she types, “Sorry to hear you’ve forgotten due process, Spike. – Best, Soon-yi.”

Woody Allen Testifies

This entry was posted in Mia Farrow, Movies, Soon-yi Previn, Spike Lee, Woody Allen.