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(We recently learned that three months ago President Donald Trump called Volodymyr Zelensky, president-elect of Ukraine. Highlights of their conversation follow.)

“Congratulations on your great victory,” Trump tells him. “It’s a fantastic achievement the way you came from behind and won easily.”

“We worked very hard and are going to drain our swamp. You’ve been a great teacher for us.”

“Very nice of you to say that. We do a lot for Ukraine, much more than European countries are doing. They should be helping you more than they are. All they do is talk. You should really ask them about that. You know how good the United States has been to Ukraine.”

Nodding his head so hard Trump may be able to feel it, Zelensky says, “You’re absolutely right. Not merely a hundred percent but a thousand percent. The United States is actually a bigger partner for us than the European Union. I’d especially like to thank you for your great support in the area of defense. We’re ready to continue to cooperate so we can buy more Javelins and other equipment from the United States for defensive purposes.”

“I’d like you to do us a favor,” says Trump. “We’ve been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it. There’s this cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike claiming the Russians hacked into your artillery and caused a lot of losses. I want our attorney general, William Barr, to talk to you and find out what kind of people are around you.”

“We’re going to cooperate in every way, President Trump. I’ll make sure I surround myself with the best and most experienced people. I want to emphasize we’re great friends and you, Mr. President, have many friends in our country who’ll help us continue our strategic partnership. We’re recalling our ambassador to the United States and replacing her with an experienced diplomat who will earn your confidence and make sure our two nations grow closer. One of my assistants recently talked to your personal attorney, Rudolph Giuliani, and we hope he can visit our country very soon.”

“That’s good because there’s a lot of talk about Joe Biden’s son acting shady in Ukraine, and that Joe Biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that. Whatever you can do with Attorney General Barr would be great. Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it… It sounds horrible to me.”

“I assure you I’m bringing in a very strong prosecutor, someone who’s a hundred percent my person and will investigate everything.”

“You’ve got a great country, President Zelensky. I know many incredible people in Ukraine and predict you’re going to get richer and richer.”

“We’re working on cooperation and we’re buying American oil,” says Zelensky, “I hope we can meet soon to discuss more opportunities and get to know each other better. I’d like to thank you very much for your support.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll tell Rudy Giuliani and William Barr to call you. And whenever you want to visit the White House just call and give us a date.”

Notes: President Zelensky visited the White House last week.

This entry was posted in Donald Trump, Russia, Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky.