Late on a late summer evening at the White House, Donald Trump and John Bolton are speaking unpleasantly as they walk toward each other and by the time they’re nose to nose they’re almost shouting.
“I’m the president.”
“Yes, and I’m the national security adviser with decades of experience in foreign policy, and I’m telling you you shouldn’t bring representatives of the Taliban to Camp David under any circumstances especially when we’re so close to the eighteenth anniversary of 9/11.”
Looking down on Bolton, Trump says, “I’m always amazed what a shrimp you are, John. Did you get bullied at school?”
“There you go, resorting to insults when facts and logic fail you. You’re caving in to the Taliban just as you caved in to Kim Jong Un and let him continue his nuclear weapons programs.”
“I stopped his missile testing,” says Trump.
“He’s still testing shorter range missiles all the time. Don’t you read our intelligence reports or at least remember what you see on Fox News? We needed to attack North Korea long ago and the longer we wait the more dangerous our task.”
“Don’t take that tone with me. You’re a loudmouth with no political base.”
John Bolton takes a step back and inhales before he says, “And you let Iran get away with attacking our friends’ oil tankers and shooting down one of our drones. You should’ve struck them then. You should’ve struck them long before that.”
“It’s people with small brains like you who always want war because you lack the vision or social skills for great diplomacy. I’m ready to meet President Hassan Rouhani without preconditions.”
Bolton steps back into Trump’s space and says, “When you cancelled the nuclear deal you did the right thing but only if you understood it was the first step to war. The Iranians can’t sit on their hands while the United States, and our European lackeys, keep tightening sanctions and cut off all their oil revenue. You had the perfect pretext to attack but you failed.”
“I’m tired of your mouth, your abrasive personality, and your desire to start wars every goddamn place on earth.”
“I’d be happy to offer you my resignation, Mr. President.”
“You can’t offer me your registration because I’d already decided to demand it.”