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“Congratulations, President Trump,” says Benjamin Netanyahu, prime minister of Israel, speaking into a hotline. “We’ve just erected a large sign celebrating Trump Heights where the bloodthirsty Syrians claimed ownership of the Golan Heights until you said it belongs to my country. Thank you so much.”

“You’re quite welcome, Bibi. Thank God for you as well as that other defender of liberty in the Middle East, Mohammed bin Salman.”

“He’s quite wonderful,” Netanyahu says. “I couldn’t have imagined Israel would ever be so close to Saudi Arabia, but you made it happen.”

“Like us, Mohammed’s urging the international community to get tough on Iran after its attacks on oil tankers in the Persian Gulf.”

“The Gulf of Oman, Mr. President.”

“Same thing.”

“Pretty much.”

“Mohammed doesn’t want war, though, and neither do I. You don’t want war, either, do you, Bibi?”

“Of course not.”

“I knew the liberals were lying you wanted us to attack Iran just like you’d wanted us to attack Iraq.”

“Oh, no. I want peace, Mr. President. I only attack when I have to.”

“We’ve all got to be ready. Iran’s getting desperate. Pretty soon they won’t be able to sell a drop of oil anywhere in the world.”

“That’s certainly true, Mr. President.”

“One more thing, Bibi. Rather than Trump Heights, which reminds me of Golan, why don’t you make a sign that says Trump Tower.”

“I will, Mr. President, as long as you promise to soon build some real Trump Towers on our new heights.”

This entry was posted in Benjamin Netanyahu, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Mohammed bin Salman, Saudi Arabia, Syria.