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Ocasio-Cortez Visits TrumpFacebooktwitterlinkedinmail

From his Oval Office chair Donald Trump rises and winks, smiling as he says, “Thanks for coming, Alexandria.”

“It’s my duty,” says first-term Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

“Please, sit down.”

“Which chair?”

“Any one you want.”

After seating herself she says, “I’m surprised you invited me.”

“I’m not worried you’re a socialist, Alexandria. The most important thing is we’re a couple of stars from New York City who want the best for America.”

“We have very different perspectives.”

“That’s why I’ve got to say you Democratic Socialists of America are crazy to blame the free markets for everything from racism to sexism to dirty air. Business built America.”

“I know business has done some good things but it’s also responsible for global warming, unaffordable health insurance, massive student debts, and a lot more. We’ve got to get rid of gas guzzlers right now, before they poison the world.”

Grinning, Trump asks, “How’d you get here today, Alexandria? You walk? Ride a bicycle? Hang glide? I saw you step out of a chauffeured SUV. I also know you got to most of your campaign rallies thanks to internal combustion engines. This is Washington, D.C., the big leagues. You can’t just talk about fantasies. But I’ll humor you. How you gonna pay for what you’re dreaming about?”

“We can have Medicare and free college for all if we tax the wealthy at seventy percent.”

“Had you been drinking before you said that? I know you were a bartender.”

Ocasio-Cortez frowns and says, “I’m an elected member of the Congress of the United States and demand to be treated as such.”

“You’re being treated better than any politician of twenty-nine I’ve ever heard of. Look where you are and who you’re talking to. I’ve had my staff crunch some numbers about your tax proposal. First, you’d only generate maybe twenty billion a year, and we’d lose a lot more than that because entrepreneurs would be discouraged from starting businesses and creating jobs for people who pay taxes.”

“We’d generate a lot more than twenty billion and all of it would be used to create jobs that cleanse the environment and provide a decent living for everyone. I’m not against the rich. I just want them to quit jumping through tax loopholes and pay their share.”

Trump gazes at his visitor before saying, “You’re a helluva of fine looking woman, Alexandria. Slim, feisty, charming, you’ve got it all.”

“Don’t objectify me, Mr. President. You’ve done that to enough women already.”

“Calm down. That was highest praise. But it’s also a warning. You’re wearing a beautiful tailored suit today, and every time I see you on TV you look very stylish. Who’s paying for those great outfits?”

“I am. Who’s paying for your suits, which are designed to hide your paunch?”

“I can pay for anything I want. I know you can’t. You haven’t received your first paycheck from Congress but you’re already headed for the Best Dressed list.”

Using both hands to smooth her lapels, Ocasio-Cortez says, “These are the people’s clothes. I work for them and they expect me to look professional.”

“I guess you’re not going to tell me how you got that wardrobe, but that’s okay. I’ve got great news for you. You’re a big celebrity and already a popular guest at benefits, and that popularity’s going to increase, at least until people learn you can’t pay for your fantasies. Until then, you’ll make plenty of dough outside the Capitol.”

“Anything I make or purchase, including my business attire, will be for the people.”

“That’s not human nature, Alexandria.”

“Either address me as Rep. Ocasio-Cortez or I’m going to start calling you Donald.”

“Please, call me Donald.”

Dancing with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

This entry was posted in Donald Trump, Medicare, Socialism.