Soaring through the heavens in mighty Air Force One, President Donald Trump grabs his tweeter and writes, “LeBron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made LeBron look smart, which isn’t easy to do. I like Mike!”
Two minutes later, grim and squeezing her pink tweeter, Melania Trump rushes into the presidential suite and says, “I told you to stop making trouble for me and the rest of our family.”
“I only tell the truth. The fake media lies.”
“Here’s the truth,” says Melania, who types and then tweets the following, “LeBron James is doing good work on behalf of our next generation.”
“What did you write?”
She turns and leaves the room.
Trump follows her into the main cabin, reading his legendary communication device.
“Don’t ever betray me again.”
“I beg your pardon,” she says.
“This’ll be all over the world.”
“And I’ll see it on CNN.”
“I told you to quit watching those scumbags. All your news should come from Fox News, where they offer the truth.”
“I’m watching CNN,” she says, reaching for the remote control.
Trump grabs her right wrist. She shoves her left palm under his nose, forcing him to release her.
“Come on, Melania. The school district in Akron’s paying for the school. LeBron’s just a figurehead.”
“Stephanie, please come here,” Melania says. Her spokeswoman Stephanie Grisham rushes up. “Please get me some information about the I Promise School.”
“It’ll be lies,” says Trump.
“Shut up and sit down.”
Trump sits on the edge of a sofa, frowning and leaning forward, an elbow on each knee.
Grisham returns with two pages, printed from the internet, and hands them to the First Lady.
“Listen, Donald,” says Melania. “The LeBron James Family Foundation is committed to pay two million dollars a year, twenty percent or more of the budget of eight million.”
“Okay, that means taxpayers are getting screwed for the other six million.”
“No, the ‘money will come from the district’s regular budget, covered mostly by shifting students, teachers, and money from other schools.’”
“And what the hell are taxpayers going to get for their money.”
“I told you to sit down and listen.”
After her pouting husband returns to the sofa, Melania reads, “Students get free tuition, free uniforms, free breakfast, lunch, and snacks, free transportation within two miles, a free bicycle and helmet, access to a food pantry for their family, guaranteed tuition for all graduates to the University of Akron, and parents of students will receive help with job placement and getting their GEDs.”
Trump frowns. “These kids are being taught that everything’s a government giveaway.”
Melania picks up her device and tweets.
“What’d you write?”
“You’ll know in a minute,” she says.