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Today, in my secret laboratory, I’m listening in stereophonic sound as Kim Jong Un speaks into a phone and says, “Congratulations on your meeting with Donald Trump.”

“Thank you, Chairman Kim,” says Vladimir Putin. “Trump and I communicated quite well, and he’s already invited me to visit him.”

“He’s quite eager to be to be friends with the toughest leaders. He had me in a corner, threatening to blow me up as he convinced the world to cut off my economic lifelines. I couldn’t imagine he’d agree to meet. And based on my country’s history of ignoring agreements while continuing to develop nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles, I doubted he’d believe I really intended to denuclearize the Korean Peninsula.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

“I’ll destroy my nuclear weapons the same day as you and the United States and China.”

“We can’t give up our nuclear deterrent.”

“Neither can we,” Kim says. “At any rate, I’ve got Trump backpedalling. When Mike Pompeo was in Pyongyang recently he thought I was going to meet with him but I didn’t have time for a mere secretary of state. Let Pompeo meet with his counterpart Kim Yong Chol. I’ll probably talk to Trump once in a while. I’m in demand. I just visited President Xi Jinping the third time this year. He’s going to continue to ease sanctions against my country.”

“Yes, I know.”

“May I ask who told you?”

“I have so many sources, I can’t remember. We’ll also continue helping you, especially with oil.”

“Trump’s sanctions will soon be a pile of rubble.”

“That may be an unfortunate metaphor, Chairman Kim.”

“I don’t think so. Deterrence works. That’s why, as you doubtless know, since meeting Trump I’ve been upgrading nuclear enrichment sites and building more and better solid fuel engines for my missiles. Before long I’ll simply present the Americans with a fait accompli.”

“Be careful about double crossing them,” Putin says.

“They know what I can already do to South Korea and Japan and will soon be able to do to them.”

“On the latter point, Chairman Kim, I believe the Americans would strike you when they believe you’ll imminently have an operational ICBM and warhead.”

“Maybe I already do.”

“I think not,” says Putin. “And you better not test them when you think they’re ready.”

“What would Russia do in the event of a preemptive strike by the Americans?”

“We’d lend political support to your nation and, one assumes, the Chinese.”

“King Donald” by George Thomas Clark

This entry was posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Kim Yong Chol, Korea, Mike Pompeo, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Vladamir Putin.