Seated at a large table during the summit meeting in Brussels, President Donald Trump crosses his arms in a tight jacket, eyes leaders of NATO nations, and says, “I love Europeans and they love me. My wife is from Slovenia, my mother from Scotland, and my father was conceived in Germany before his parents, no doubt legally, immigrated to the United States. I own a spectacular golf course in Scotland and property in Ireland. I own property all over Europe and the world. More than anything I want international peace. You only get that when you’re really strong. That’s why I’m telling you you’re paying far less than you should for NATO and defense. You also expect us to do most of the fighting and dying in an increasingly nonwhite world.
“I look at Germany, and Chancellor Angela Merkel over there, and I think, ‘What the hell are you doing?’ You’re paying the Russians billions of dollars to pump natural gas into your country, and at the same time you’re making us pay billions of dollars to defend you against the Russians. You’re treating us very shabbily and we’re not going to take it anymore. We’re tired of protecting the French and the British, we’re tired of protecting everybody.”
Frowning, Merkel says, “Mr. President, you don’t understand many of the benefits the United States receives from its NATO membership. You pay more because you’re using our military bases to project your power into Central Europe, the Middle East, and North Africa. Without us, you really wouldn’t have any strong allies.”
“Don’t interrupt, Angela. Your days of paying less than two percent of your gross domestic product on defense are history. All of you should be paying four percent, but I’ll let you slide for a few years as long as you get up to two percent as soon as possible.
“It’s a disgrace you aren’t prepared to spend much more. Your great continent’s being infested by hordes from the Middle East and Africa, and they’re changing your societies and bringing terrorism to what won’t be a decent place much longer. Many in Europe agree with me. Look at political trends in Hungary, Poland, and Italy. You’ve got to defend yourselves against mass immigration. I wouldn’t have won if I hadn’t understood and emphasized the dangers of immigration.”
“We feel that immigrants are adding new energy and experiences to our country and making us better,” says British Prime Minister Theresa May.
“Quit dreaming, Theresa. London’s a major center for drugs and your murder rate’s higher than in New York. Londoners are being stabbed and shot by stoned immigrants riding mopeds while you and London’s Arab mayor, Sadiq Khan, do nothing.”
“Mr. President,” May says, “London’s murder rate is lower than that of every major American city. Only briefly did London’s rate edge fractionally higher than that of your native city.”
Trump stands and points his right index finger at the ceiling as he says, “Europeans are headed for the dumpster unless you’re ready to defend your way of life. I hope you get my message and respond quickly. If you don’t, I’m ready to go it alone.”
“Auf wiedersehen,” says Angela Merkel.
“What’s that mean?” Trump asks.
“Goodbye,” she says, prompting a standing ovation.