This evening as I stroll through beautiful grounds of a Singaporean resort people are cheering and squealing like I’m a rock star. This is certainly a good sign for my meeting tomorrow with President Donald Trump. I know he loves stars and winners.
The summit begins as the president and I march to each other and shake hands, and he pats my shoulder and taps my back before pointing with the other hand to guide me to the next place. He’s acting like the host. I don’t mind. The President of the United States is happy to see a fellow commander in chief, and the whole world is hoping we’re successful. We go to a private room briefly open to all and sit next to each other in soft chairs. I feel great as Trump again shakes my hand and gives me a thumbs up. I’m sure you’ve also had the feeling: I should’ve done this long ago. I’m leader of a top country in the world and belong on the biggest stage.
When doors close President Trump and I are alone with our translators. My English isn’t bad but not good enough for this. We’ve earlier almost agreed on the main points. I’m ready to denuclearize my country as long as the whole Korean Peninsula has no nuclear weapons and the United States guarantees it won’t try to destabilize or conquer my country. If we can maintain peace without nuclear weapons, then I think we’ll be fine, like Japan and Germany. I’m most interested in improving the health and prosperity of my nation. At home I rarely talk about it even in private, and never in public, but we need more non-military technology and business and money. We can’t have those things when we’re spending so much on defense and at the same time fighting tough sanctions by the United States and many other countries, even China. Thankfully, our great protector to the north has resumed doing a little more business with us.
“Chairman Kim, you’ve got an incredible location between China and South Korea,” says President Trump. “I know real estate. You can soon have the best hotels in the world, and your country can be really rich.”
“We’d like that,” I say.
After forty-five productive minutes we walk to a little larger room with a long table. My staff and I sit across from President Trump, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, John Kelly, their translator, and to my far right warmonger John Bolton, who I don’t even look at. We’re here for peace. We reaffirm that for almost two hours before moving to a beautiful dining room for lunch. I love to eat and know President Trump does, too. Today we have prawn’s cocktail, avocado salad, Korean stuffed cucumber, beef short ribs, spicy potatoes and steamed broccoli, sweat and sour crispy pork, fried rice, cod fish, ice cream, and more. I don’t eat as much as I want because I’m trying to lose weight but keep gaining.
After lunch President Trump and I walk outside together, smiling and joking, and I bet he’s impressed with my English and my Swiss education.
“Great, fantastic meeting, better than anyone could have imagined,” Trump tells reporters. We’re going to celebrate our new relationship by signing an agreement in an hour or so.
After relaxing with our respective staffs, President Trump and I enter a large room where a table offers two chairs backed by twelve beautiful flags, six representing the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and six the United States. We sit, and I thank the president for making this meeting happen. Secretary of state Mike Pompeo, who also enjoys fine food, presents a copy of the agreement to President Trump, and my sister, Kim Yo Jong, opens my agreement and gives me one of our pens in case the one provided isn’t safe. Trump looks at me, and we move to sign at the same time.
The agreement is short but extremely important. We not only agree that I have a “firm and unwavering commitment to complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula,” we affirm that “President Trump committed to provide security guarantees to the DPRK.” We also promise to “establish new U.S.-DPRK relations in accordance with the desire of the peoples of the two countries for peace and prosperity” and to “build a lasting and stable peace regime on the Korean Peninsula.” Naturally, we also reaffirm the Panmunjom Declaration, between South Korean President Moon Jae-in and myself two months ago, in which we agree “to work together on ending the Korean War and the Korean conflict.”
As we leave the room I gently place my hand on President Trump’s back. He and I walk to another place backed by flags, under the hallway roof of a massive patio, and shake hands again. We’re very happy. Soon we shake hands a couple more times. President Trump has already promised me he’ll stop the provocative joint military exercises of his country and South Korea, and I’ve assured him I’m already dismantling a rocket testing facility.
This meeting has been as successful as President Trump said. I think he’d like to have dinner with me tonight but I’ve got to get home. No, I’m not rushing back because I think the military might stage a coup. I’m not worried about that after firing three of my highest ranking generals last month. They were old and belligerent and didn’t understand my new and dynamic thinking. I replaced them with younger generals who want to avoid military confrontation. They’ll help me decide how much we really can concede.