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Jeff Sessions Invades CaliforniaFacebooktwittergoogle_pluslinkedinmail

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, the Alabama-bred former judge and senator who’s now attorney general of the United States, gallops his white steed to the Capitol steps in Sacramento, dismounts, and, bugle in hand, blows a sound that compels local dogs to howl and political workers to cover their ears.

Charging out the door and down the steps, Governor Jerry Brown unsheathes his sword and says, “Don’t come into the Golden State filing lawsuits against our commitments to civil rights.”

“How dare you, sir,” says Sessions, drawing his saber. “You and this corrupt state of hippies and illegal aliens have passed countless unconstitutional laws, and I order you to cease disobeying United States law which supersedes that of any self-righteous state.”

Pointing his sharp tip at the nose of Sessions, energetic-octogenarian Brown says, “We’re a state of innovators who’ve built the sixth largest economic entity in the world. We’ll continue to welcome immigrants.”

“They’re not immigrants, they’re gangsters and drug dealers, and your sanctuary cities are an affront to Abraham Lincoln and all those who died to defend our union.”

“You’d have been wearing a gray uniform during the Civil War.”

“I’m wearing blue today while you’re attired in gray. I therefore warn you, sir, that the federal government may force you to obey existing laws and new laws to come in this new era of Donald Trump, who vows to end lawlessness wherever it exists.”

“I demand that you apologize to the people of California for your lies. We don’t disobey laws. We simply decline to enforce those we disagree with and that are at any rate the responsibility of the federal government.”

“Fine, Governor Brown, we’ll be happy to ensure it’s a felony to bear false identity and a felony to use fraudulent documents.”

“And we’ll continue to ignore you and Donald Trump.”

“In that case, sir, we shall send in federal troops, just as President Eisenhower did in Arkansas to enforce school desegregation.”

“I’d expect the Trump administration to send in troops to reestablish segregation.”

“En garde, Governor Brown.”

“King Donald” by George Thomas Clark

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This entry was posted in California, Donald Trump, Immigration, Jeff Sessions, Jerry Brown.