Listen, I already told you all I’m not going to let anyone damage this smooth-running administration by forcing me to admit I called Donald Trump a moron. I have great respect and affection for the president, and hope he feels the same about me.
It’s my duty to tell him the Iran nuclear deal is pretty damn good since it prevents the Iranians from advancing their weapons program rapidly and forcing us to either accept it or attack. The president always says it’s a terrible deal, an Obama blunder, and he’s going to do something about it.
“What are you actually going to do?” I ask.
I can’t really tell you his answer because he starts talking and confuses himself and his listeners and doesn’t actually say anything except he’ll handle it and everything will be great.
I guess the president’s also confident about the Middle East and Mexico because Jared Kushner, his dimwit son-in-law, is mishandling things in places where this Texan spent decades making deals with leaders and pumping trillions of dollars of oil.
The president sure gets irritated when I publicly state what everyone knows: the Russians interfered in our presidential election. CIA chief Mike Pompeo also understands this, but I guess he says so in a pleasing way, and Trump likes having him around.
More than once I’ve said what almost any reasonable secretary of state should: we’re a long way from summit negotiations with North Korea. Last week on assignment in Africa, I was mad as hell Trump didn’t bother telling me he’d decided to meet with Kim Jong Un. In the middle of the night White House chief of staff John Kelly woke me with a call: “Rex, as a courtesy, I’m telling you the president just tweeted he’s replacing you with Mike Pompeo.”