Yes sir, I know Donald Trump and I said Hillary Clinton and her email coconspirators were inevitably guilty of serious crimes otherwise they wouldn’t need immunity, and at attention I still stand by those assertions. Now that I’m hunting for immunity, however, some say I too must be guilty of something. Actually, people have been saying that for a long time, but it’s worsening now that I’m doing what all good generals do and that’s defend my rear.
Despite my patriotic behavior, I’m the target of a witch hunt. That’s what President Trump tweeted. Trust our commander in chief. Some rebellious Republicans in Congress, playing cheap political games, say I shouldn’t receive immunity. They want the FBI to investigate my relations with the Russians before the campaign as well as when I advised candidate Trump.
There’s really no big deal. I didn’t lie. I was just protecting military and political secrets when I told Vice President Mike Pence and other eminent people I hadn’t discussed overturning President Obama’s sanctions once Donald Trump became president. But why wouldn’t I discuss this with the Russian ambassador? We didn’t want the Russians to think they’d be facing more hostility from the White House.
I don’t think it’s at all disturbing I retroactively registered as a foreign agent who did business with the Russians and the Turks. And it’s entirely appropriate that in 2015 I sat at a dinner table with Vladimir Putin prior to my speech to the Russia Today television network the Kremlin controls and which paid me thirty-three grand. I needed cash since Obama had trumped up charges when I was General Flynn, forcing me to retire early. None of this made me vulnerable to blackmail. This whole thing is a witch hunt.