Print This Post Print This Post

Michael Flynn ResignsFacebooktwittergoogle_pluslinkedinmail

The riotous American election had concluded and President-elect Donald Trump’s strategic guru, and future national security advisor, tough and ambitious General Michael Flynn, lifted a phone to call Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak, who told his secretary to open the line.

“General Flynn. I’m delighted.”

“Mr. Ambassador, how are you, Sir?”

“Please, call me Sergey. May I call you Michael, or Mikhail, perhaps?”

“Mike’s fine.”

“President Obama just hit us with some more sanctions, Mike.”

“Terrible,” said Flynn. “You know how that guy is.”

“That’s why we admire you and Donald Trump and are delighted he won.”

“We appreciate your help, Sergey.”

“Despite what Obama and his operatives claim, we only offered spiritual assistance rather than technical, I assure you.”

“But of course.”

“We’re most encouraged that President-elect Trump wants better relations with Russia. We’re unbeatable when we’re allies, as in World War II. There’s no reason for you to keep squeezing us with more sanctions.”

“That’s how the president-elect feels.”

“He’s going to lift some sanctions?”

“This is all unofficial, but I can tell you I think that he will.”

“Did he say so specifically?” asked the ambassador.

“I’d rather not comment on what President-elect Trump said, but I’m assuring you that our relations will soon be improving and, as a result, sanctions will be lifted.”

* * *

Vice President Mike Pence summoned national security advisor Michael Flynn into his White House office and, without standing, said, “I’m quite worried, General, about reports we’ve received from the Justice Department.”

“What do they say?”

“That before we took office you inappropriately promised the Russians relief from sanctions.”

“Ambassador Kislyak and I discussed many urgent issues, including then-upcoming Christmas celebrations, but I certainly never talked about sanctions.”

“You’re certain?”

“I am, Mr. Vice President.”

“Then I’ll publicly and privately defend you as often as necessary.”

* * *

Shortly after telling minions to announce he had complete confidence in Michael Flynn, President Donald Trump summoned him to the Oval Office and, planted behind his executive desk, said, “Goddamn it, Mike, you’re supposed to be an intelligence expert. Didn’t you know Ambassador Kislyak’s phone is always tapped?”

“Of course.”

“Then what the hell were you doing?”

“I was helping you build a new relationship with Russia, Mr. President.”

“Frankly, Mike, I can see why Obama removed your hyper ass from the Defense Intelligence Agency. You’ve already embarrassed me and the vice president and our whole administration.”

“I’ve skillfully served my country for almost forty years, Mr. President.”

“You’re a patriot but a loose cannon who from now on will be firing blanks from private life.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. President. I just didn’t recall discussing sanctions.”

“Go tell that to Mike Pence, if you dare.”

Introducing Michael Flynn

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluslinkedinmail
This entry was posted in Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Michael Flynn, Mike Pence, Russia.