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Against the WallFacebooktwittergoogle_pluslinkedinmail

Waving for his aide to sit down, the dapper man in Los Pinos squeezed a phone and dialed about twenty numbers, waiting while the White House phone rang.

“Hello,” said a woman.

“This is President Peña Nieto. Who’s this?”


“Please let me speak to President Trump.”

“What country are you from?”


“Oh, you’re that real cute guy. Let’s do a photo shoot sometime.”

“I don’t care to be photographed with your husband.”

“Just the two of us, professional models.”

“Perhaps. May I speak to your husband?”

Melania pivots and extends the phone.

“Enrique, this is President Trump. Don’t flirt with my wife.”

“Donald, all Mexicans are enraged after your insulting executive order about the wall.”

“That’s why I canceled our meeting.”

“I’m the one who canceled.”

“I tweeted for you not to come until you’re ready to pay.”

“No way that ever happens. You have no mandate. Your popularity rating’s only about thirty-five percent.”

“That’s not true. I got forty-six percent, about where I am in the polls. That’ll increase now that I’m bringing Mexico under control. And don’t tell me about favorability ratings: you’re at twelve percent, lowest I’ve heard of anywhere.”

“That’ll change as Mexicans gather around me to fight you.”

“That’ll change as Mexicans gather around me to fight you.”

“Listen, Enrique, let’s agree to keep our discussions about the wall private. Okay?”

“All right, for a while.”

“Just remember our trade deficit with Mexico is sixty billion dollars.”

“Don’t forget that U.S. citizens have much more money and therefore buy more products. Mexico isn’t screwing you.”

“You’re shoving it up our asses, Enrique. Look at the devastation caused by your drug cartels.”

“They wouldn’t exist if norteamericanos weren’t a horde of coke smokers corrupting our young people, who wouldn’t otherwise be motivated to sell drugs.”

“You’ve killed sixty thousand of each other along our border. That’s why we’re going to wall you out.”

“Maybe the wall’s a good idea if it keeps your gangsters from smuggling automatic weapons used to murder our people.”

“There’s more trouble coming our way than yours.”

“Don’t blame Mexico for the murder rates in your inner cities.”

“I never exactly said that, Enrique.”

“You implied it.”

“Maybe I’ll cool the rhetoric a little.”

“Cool it a lot.”

This entry was posted in Cocaine, Donald Trump, Drugs, Enrique Pena Nieto, Immigration, Melania Trump, Murder.