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McCain Sends Substitute to Debate

I’m a deregulator. That’s what I do. I deregulate and work to keep government from smothering the entrepreneurial brilliance of our captains of industry. They don’t need oversight. They need unfettered access to cash to generate profits that trickle down their legs to you.

Business bores me but I know right now there’s some trouble in our financial markets. They’re collapsing. I’m not discouraged. I’m invigorated. This is like an air raid warning. I have to rush to the nation’s capital. As an old navy pilot I assure you this is an all hands on deck emergency, and duty dictates I postpone my Friday night debate with Barack Obama at the University of Mississippi. Imagine me in front of all those people thinking I’m implicated in this mess with Bush and company. I can’t have that. I need to be in the capital, preaching change.

In my place I’m dispatching future Vice President Sarah Palin to use her eloquence and mastery of issues to carve up Obama.

This entry was posted in Barack Obama, Campaign 2008, Economics, John McCain.