Archive for December 2014
Mullah Omar Denounces
My comrades and I in the Afghan Taliban are outraged by the cowardly and vicious attack by so-called Pakistani Taliban fighters who murdered a hundred forty innocent children studying at a military school in Peshawar. We would never commit such vile crimes, and extend profound condolences to the Pakistani government, and particularly the Inter-Service Intelligence,…
Read MoreFidel Meets Marco Rubio
At a time and location neither man will acknowledge, Fidel Castro, age eighty-eight but still a political stalwart even in semi-retirement, shakes hands with United States Senator Marco Rubio, who’s half his age. “Mucho gusto,” Fidel says. “I’m proud you’ve done so well in American politics.” “If you hadn’t forced countless citizens into exile, I’d…
Read MoreOutraged by Castro-Loving Obama
Thank God our Republican Party is now resolved to prevent the worst president in history, Barack Hussein Obama, from normalizing relations with Cuba. How dare he try to throw our nation in bed with Caribbean communists and characterize our Cuban policy of more than fifty years as being outdated and a failure? It has been…
Read MoreTorturous Jackpot
Frankly, Johnson was broke. He’d blown all his money doing unsavory things but couldn’t change that. He had to survive and hoped to soon flourish and thought he would after learning from confidential sources about James E. Mitchell and Bruce Jessen and writing them letters. He knew they could help. They’d been mere staff psychologists…
Read MoreMoney Says Yes
You calling again. I know why. Sure I’ll answer the question. Ain’t Money always straight? Not about this? Bullshit. I’ve always said the guy’s on drugs and I value my health more than taking on cheaters who excite fans. Anyway, no one can complain now. I’m making the fight. It won’t be that tough. Manny…
Read MoreClueless Kobe Bryant
Clueless Kobe Bryant yesterday cursed teammates for being inadequate and responsible for the Lakers losing most of their games. Kobe’s got it wrong. He’s the problem, and his compulsive gunning and low shooting percentage are why the Lakers are struggling. While Kobe hits an appalling 39 percent from the floor, most of his teammates are…
Read MoreEldridge Cleaver has Changed
There were confrontational people in the crowd and they hurled invectives at a speaker created for confrontation. A young curly-haired fellow, smirking, waved a sign that projected insulting remarks about the man on the platform, and he shouted, “You’re in the FBI.” “First of all, you can take that sign and shove it,” said the…
Read More