Archive for June 2013
Soothing Barack
“Mr. President, you’ve been quite tense.” “Since when?” “Last five years or so.” “Be thankful you bear not my burden, Joe.” “I am, but I’ll have to unless you mellow out.” “I work out, play golf, spend quality time with the wife. What else can I do?” Joe smiled and presented a perfectly rolled cigarette.…
Read MoreMorsi the Great
I detest people who doubt I’m ideal President of Egypt. I oppose tyranny and always did in years as activist in Muslim Brotherhood. Now I’m battling reactionary elements of former regime trying to regain power and repress liberty. I don’t allow courts to help enemies of progress. I ignore them and godless parties seeking to…
Read MoreSilvio Berlusconi
Those saying I’m thief and libertine are fools. I’m suave multi-billionaire media mogul who as prime minister and consummate politician dominated Italy for generation. Regrettably, latest idiots are three dowdy female judges, jealous of Berlusconi allure for gorgeous young women, who sentenced me to seven years prison and banned from politics for life. They won’t…
Read MoreNew Taliban
To everyone we say relax. We’ve changed and are now using social media. Friend us on Facebook. We deserve support. We’re not going to let anyone use Afghan soil to prepare an attack on other countries. We need peace. We’ve been fighting since birth. We’ll even talk to Obama and puppet Karzai. We’ll talk to…
Read MoreDick Cheney Speaks
Thank God I’m healthy and on TV to warn Barack Obama is lousy president and responsible for IRS persecuting conservatives and terrorists murdering several Americans in Benghazi. I, by contrast, am proud national security expert who protected you on 9/11 and strategic wizard who more than anyone, except underling President Bush, saved American lives by…
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