Monthly Archives: May 2012

Baby Frogs

At school the lawn banks toward a shady northern wall by a sprinkler oozing puddles where every spring male frogs mount female backs and fertilize eggs as they’re laid in water. We never notice the tadpoles that first emerge but are delighted by the sudden appearance of hundreds of baby frogs. Initially they’re fingertip-size and […]

Posted in Education, Frogs, George Thomas Clark, Reptiles

Vincent van Gogh Talks to Mental Patient

(This conversation occurred last night in a local mental health facility.) Mental Patient – You don’t know the trouble I’ve had. Vincent van Gogh – I had quite a few problems, too. MP – Not like mine. Your paintings generate hundreds of millions of dollars a year. And all the reproductions, merchandising, books, movies…you must’ve […]

Posted in Art, Bullying, Mental Health, Painters, Suicide, Vincent Van Gogh

Assad Justifies Bombardment

I’m not ashamed to tell you my Syrian forces unleashed artillery on the city of Houla. They had to. Terrorists, who’ve been attacking and planned to again, were hiding there. Any good commander would’ve pounded them. But I’m more humane than most. I ordered my troops to be restrained when they entered this hostile and […]

Posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Syria

Was Vincent van Gogh Murdered – Part 2

Two clever biographers appeared on Sixty Minutes and said Vincent van Gogh didn’t really shoot himself in a wheat field more than a bumpy mile from town since he couldn’t have walked so far bearing a wound destined to finish him in thirty hours. Instead, the sleuthing biographers state two teenagers in Auvers, a spot […]

Posted in Alcohol, Art, Bullying, Campaign 2012, Mental Health, Mitt Romney, Painters, Suicide, Vincent Van Gogh

Obama v. Romney in Number$

what’s difference in presidential candidates barack obama website offers donor options 5-10-25-50-100 250-500-other mitt romney website offers donor options 25-100-250 500-1,000 5,000-other which provokes bigger question why are working class whites staunch republicans

Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign 2012, Economics, Mitt Romney, Poetry - GTC, Republicans

Doctor Fears Naps

Dr. Jones had many patients but wanted more so hired and promoted until had four junior physicians, five nurses, three secretaries, and hundreds patients who on phone pushed variety of numbers before placed on hold and later told they’d missed appointment because Dr. Jones did not require harried staff to call and remind day before. […]

Posted in Doctors, Health, Heart, Short Pieces - GTC, Sleep

Jacob Zuma Demands Dignity

I am “shocked and feel personally offended and violated” by racist painting “The Spear” by white artist Brett Murray who portrays me like Lenin in suit but with penis exposed. This is not political satire, like opponent says, but form of “hate speech,” as one proud daughter notes. I know joke. Which daughter? Which son? […]

Posted in Africa, AIDS, Art, Jacob Zuma, Painters, Rape, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC, South Africa

General Aladeen Assails Sacha Baron Cohen and “The Dictator”

Obscene, self-righteous, and unfunny Sacha Baron Cohen has earned a few hundred million dollars, in movies “Borat” and “Bruno,” by insulting rubes in Kazakhstan and the United States, and then either deflecting or burying their lawsuits. Now you can be assured that I, General Aladeen, supreme leader of Wadiya, will by all necessary means forever […]

Posted in Borat, Middle East, Movies, Oil, Sacha Baron Cohen, Terrorism

Enforcement

money men rage against crime so should appreciate stylish new gallows on wall street

Posted in Capital Punishment, Crime, Economics, Employment, Poetry - GTC, Poverty, Wall Street

Pool Player

Fourteen relatives, who’d already lost in Christmas 8-Ball Shootout, encircled pool table and were joined by everyone else, and all swigged beers or sodas and munched rich appetizers as watched finalists and pre-tourney favorites Bill and Fred strike and counter with deadly long shots, cut shots kissing balls into unlikely pockets, and taps leaving cue […]

Posted in Alcohol, Families, Food, Health, Pool, Short Pieces - GTC

Church Service

Adult ESL student is pastor who invites me to service he assures will be conducted in rousing Spanish. I arrive and am introduced to pastor’s wife who nods. Couple weeks later I go again and wife frowns before looking away. In few weeks I take pretty new girlfriend and pastor’s wife embraces me. Many churchgoers […]

Posted in Dating, Education, Immigration, Marriage, Poetry - GTC, Religion, Short Pieces - GTC

Travel Advice

Avoid crowded and dangerous Mexico City, stay way from torrid beaches, ignore over-hyped pyramids, and forget boring cathedrals. Instead, come to San Juan in infernal yet enchanting Nuevo León. Here you’ll meet friendly and forthright people. Don’t worry about forty-nine headless corpses on highway under welcoming white arch. Everything’s been cleaned up, and narcotics traffickers […]

Posted in Crime, Drugs, Mexico, Mexico City, Murder, Short Pieces - GTC

Tulsa Race Riot of 1921

It’s May thirtieth, 1921 and nineteen-year-old shoeshiner enters large downtown Tulsa building, anxious to use “colored” restroom on top floor. He hurries into elevator, trips, and to avoid falling grasps arm of teenage white girl who screams and kid flees. Following day he’s arrested and jailed atop courthouse. Hundreds of white citizens, enraged by street […]

Posted in Art, Oklahoma, Painters, Racism, Riots, Tulsa

Tobacco: The Holdouts

I’m no prude but have years of clean living and resent unhealthy intrusions such as smoke choking me in museum gallery. “Put out cigarettes,” I demand of unseen culprits. “Where are you?” Dashing around gallery, I cough and curse and am about to flee when realize I’m next to evildoers and see mummified doctor’s insane […]

Posted in Art, Drugs, Los Angeles, Painters, Robert Colescott, Tobacco

Inbox Photos

At first ping I leave Word, and rigors of composition, checking inbox to see email titled “Some Very Rare Photos” evoking memories: Wright Brothers get plane off ground; Titanic announces it’s big, dumb, and smoky embarking on maiden voyage and, decades later, sleek and relaxed on ocean floor; break-time construction workers dangle feet off steel […]

Posted in Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Berlin, Berlin Wall, Bruce Lee, Charlie Chaplin, Che Guevara, Elvis Presley, Fidel Castro, Germany, Google, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, McDonald's, Music, Osama bin Laden, Photography, Physics, Politics, Saddam Hussein, Short Pieces - GTC, Terrorism, The Beatles, Titanic

Good News for Jesus at the Bakersfield Islamic Conference

At the sixth annual Bakersfield Islamic Conference, before a few hundred attendees in a hotel ballroom, crew-cut Joshua Evans, looking scholarly behind a long brown beard and matching brown glasses, delivered this information: you cannot be a Muslim unless you believe in Jesus, one of five great Prophets who brought about seminal changes. Islam also […]

Posted in Bakersfield, Islam, Jesus Christ, Mohammad, Religion

Big Sneeze

After hosting amorous boyfriend Sunday night and pounding treadmill half hour early Monday morning, popular high school math teacher Martha H drove to school, parked car, and walked toward class, confident she’d have another great week. She sneezed after shutting car door, and nose and sinuses had tickly, cleaned out feeling that became more pleasurable […]

Posted in Education, Google, Health, Internet, Mental Health, Short Pieces - GTC, Sneezing, Suicide

Electric Razor

Bob and stepfather didn’t get along but Bob always admired man’s affluence and, recently, fancy new electric razor. Before school, when it hummed, Bob knew couldn’t borrow razor. He’d only have access when old man was out running company. On easy afternoon Bob checked mother wasn’t lurking, and then rushed into master bathroom, plugged in […]

Posted in Divorce, Families, Marriage, Short Pieces - GTC

Prime Rib

In mid-sixties Sacramento restaurateur, exhibiting either grand generosity or manifest ignorance of human hunger, offered eat all you want prime rib lunch. Two fast-growing adolescents and I, salivating after hot Sunday afternoon of schoolyard baseball, scurried into establishment that, few years earlier, had presented Roger Maris ball he hit for sixty-first home run. Evidently, glory […]

Posted in Adolescents, Babe Ruth, Baseball, Food, George Thomas Clark, New York Yankees, Roger Maris, Sacramento, Short Pieces - GTC

Border Patrol

Ed would’ve quit job if he’d had one to jump in pickup high on four big wheels and speed down here to stop millions of illegal aliens from invading country and committing crimes, devouring welfare and health care, and overcrowding classrooms. Those people had also destroyed integrity on building sites, jabbering in Spanish before stealing […]

Posted in Immigration, Mexico, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC

Mexican Journalists Murdered

routine news three mexican journalists found maimed in plastic bags week after female reporter strangled at home To read “Drug Rehabilitation in Ciudad Juarez,” please click here To read “Mexican Society Under Attack,” please click here

Posted in Crime, Drugs, Mexico, Poetry - GTC

Edvard Munch on Record Sale of “The Scream”

For record hundred twenty million they just sold “The Scream” one of four and last in public hands and I’ll burn all of them including money and hands if they ever make me look inside myself again. To see The Scream, please click this link To read “Edvard Munch Stretched on Canvas,” please click here

Posted in Art, Depression, Edvard Munch, Mental Health, Painters, Short Pieces - GTC

Obama in Afghanistan

In cool darkness at this military base, just before incredible dawn, some of you are wondering why I, like Alexander the Great, am riding a white horse and waving a sword. I do so not to boast or campaign but tell you in sacred tones that my sword is the head of Osama bin Laden […]

Posted in Afghanistan, Al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Campaign 2012, Middle East, Osama bin Laden, Pakistan, Terrorism

The Hussy

Years ago as child visiting relatives in small community on western slope of high Sierra, I heard one woman tell another, “Fay Hendricks is hussy,” and they nodded. “What’s that?” I asked. “Never mind.” I figured hussy must be insult but until recent night didn’t pursue personal details. “Fay’s son just got married for first […]

Posted in Cars & Driving, Doctors, Health, Marriage, Sex, Short Pieces - GTC