Archive for December 2011
Awaiting First Lady of Syria
wife bashar al-assad often denounces israel when will she denounce husband
Read MoreMadonna Interlude
muscular madonna lassos fan’s neck and slides off her dress as crowd chants
Read MoreTrickle Down
This story appears in the collection “In Other Hands”
Read MoreDear Leader Vladimir Putin
i look like sinister kgb chief yet charm russians as masculine action man judo throwing men over my hip horseback riding bare chest muscles bright in sun hunting and fishing russians know my leadership saved from chaos following biggest geopolitical disaster twentieth century crumbling soviet union i established order led economic boom and denounced united…
Read MoreSherlock Holmes Needs Straightjacket
new sherlock holmes movie maniacal high tech farce detective robert downey relentlessly overbearing bakersfield patrons quite pleased
Read MoreStrange Custom
strange custom tolerates crude women squatting behind gender
Read MoreNightmare Returns
many years vowed never would again but defiled mouth and head convinced really had awakened
Read MoreChristmas Food
thirty years merry company christmas parties no one damaged evident act of god no longer assured worries new boss banning festivities since every year food sickens millions hospitalizes thousands kills hundreds
Read MoreTeddy Bear
mommy and daddy had rooms full of smelly chemicals rotting teeth and making act crazy and now at night i don’t even have my teddy bear cuz police said it’s contaminated Source – Performing Arts Christmas Extravaganza in Tehachapi, December 17, 2011. To read “Wired in Bed,” please click here
Read MoreOutline J. Paul Getty
don’t bother biography j paul getty only need remember earned billions threatened employees spending company dimes and when young women rebuked for ignoring replied i shall miss you my dear
Read MoreLove Machine
love machine in hallway gives more candy cookies than pay for twice change deserve pump machine every day getting fatter sad when stops bonuses then halts everything no matter how many coins justified to slap kick curse damn machine and ignore staring fools
Read MoreLittle League Blast
Joe was the youngest and skinniest boy on the team and didn’t play much and when he did he always struck out. Late in the season he got to bat against a pitcher he’d wanted who threw lots of changeups, the only pitch slow enough for Joe. Still he swung late but hit a line…
Read MoreGrave of Great Yankees
Who the hell ordered opening this quite deep grave we didn’t know existed in a cemetery near New York City? Turn off that caterpillar and crane and quit pulling out caskets stacked on each other. Why’re you changing the order? Just put ‘em back the right way: Lou Gehrig first, followed by Babe Ruth then…
Read MoreTijuana Taxi Ride
american drunk in tijuana night lumbers into taxi and in spanish asks for senoritas and marijuana fine says cabbie few minutes later american admits really wants cocaine cabbie reminds not what said then silently drives way out and says here’s best place for you american enters and thinks goddamn that guy dropping me where there’s…
Read MoreInternal James
in crunch throw king james ball don’t really want but gotta dribble hard in place rather not drive now maybe i’ll shoot from timbuktu or you do something
Read MoreAlarm Radio
another tardy you’re fired boss told fred sir i’ve been creative as well as diligent in this matter alarm radio was problem but stopped listening to wakeup news which interested me too much to get right up until fell back asleep rock and classical music soothed into slumber then tried country which had hated but…
Read MoreDeadbolt Rules
(This vertical prose was rewritten horizontally and posted September 22, 2012.) hell of hot day fishing in thin mountain air sun scorched harold and he drank too many beers didn’t matter he caught no fish he had to return to rat hole room at rear of house in bad area rusty deadbolt jammed and impatient…
Read MoreWealth
This story appears in the collection “In Other Hands”
Read MoreHealth in Good Old Days
Sometimes Joe wishes born hundred years earlier so could’ve ridden horses to work and avoided traffic, television, radio, phones, computers, and other intrusive stuff, usually, though, he remembers kindergarten encephalitis would’ve killed before spinal taps, and junior high knee cutting off blood would’ve ruined leg without precision surgery, and anxiety would’ve destroyed before tranquilizers, and…
Read MoreAdministrative Offices
petty administrators provoked faculty prompting latter to bribe custodian for key to weekend of work on monday administrative offices everywhere padded and locked from outside
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