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Category Archives: Soviet Union

Stalin Summons Trump

This is entirely unfair. While I had to fight that ruthless bastard Adolf Hitler and form an alliance with shrewd but treacherous capitalists Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchill, my most celebrated successor, Vladimir Putin, is blessed with a world in which his strongest adversary, Donald Trump, isn’t really his enemy but his most ardent admirer. […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Joseph Stalin, Korea, Nuclear Weapons, Ukraine

Stalin Makes Comeback

I hope you hypocritical Americans have read the recent article in the Los Angeles Times. If I had said these things, you wouldn’t have believed them. Now you have to accept that in the only place that counts, the vast Soviet Union, I am again a hero to leaders and peasants alike, and that those […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Boris Yeltsin, Joseph Stalin, Leon Trotsky, Mikhail Gorbachev, Poland, Russia, Vladimir Putin, World War II

Putin Warns the West

Don’t call me shorty or I’ll throw you over my hip. I’m a superpower leader ready to protect the Russian people who’ve so often been “not merely robbed but plundered” by such heathens as Napoleon, Hitler, Bush father and son, Clinton, and Obama, the latter four deluded Americans who claim God wants them to “determine […]

Also posted in Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty, Barack Obama, Crimea, NATO, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Ukraine, Vladimir Putin, Warsaw Pact

Nikita Khrushchev Explains

Don’t blame me Vladimir Putin’s grabbing the Crimea sixty years after I bestowed that lovely peninsula on Ukraine, the great Russian Breadbasket where I’d forged my political career and found a bride. Listen to my son, Sergei. He’s a wizard in computers and missiles and holds multiple advanced degrees and teaches at Brown University and […]

Also posted in Crimea, Cuba, Fidel Castro, John F. Kennedy, Nikita Khrushchev, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Ukraine, Vladimir Putin

Empty Boots

On massive foundation in Budapest park great Hungarian patriots erected me twenty-five feet high in bronze to celebrate seventieth birthday and thank for destroying Nazis. Only few years after I departed imperialists threw steel ropes around neck, burned legs with blow torches, and pulled body down to desecrate face beneath empty boots.

Also posted in Hungary, Joseph Stalin, Nazis, Russia, Short Pieces - GTC, World War II

McCarthy Nixon Castro – Just Released

Joseph McCarthy, who started high school at age twenty, says he’s a tough and dedicated guy in the boxing ring, on icy campaign roads of Wisconsin, and in the nightmarish confines of the 1950s United States Senate where he chases and tries to destroy enemies he calls communists but are actually demons within himself. Richard […]

Also posted in Communism, Cuba, Fidel Castro, John F. Kennedy, Joseph McCarthy, Nikita Khrushchev, Russia

Vladimir Putin Suppresses Pussy Riot

My Gods are no longer Lenin and Stalin and beautiful communist colossus crumbling during greatest geopolitical disaster of Twentieth Century. Higher power now is Russian Orthodox Church which supports me and ongoing recovery of nation I have rebuilt and led for many years and, God willing, will lead many more. It has thus been sacred […]

Also posted in Communism, Joseph Stalin, Moscow, Pussy Riot, Religion, Russia, Syria, Vladimir Putin

Berlin Wall Bones

under berlin wall rats chewed bones of lenin and stalin

Also posted in Berlin, Communism, Europe, Germany, Joseph Stalin, Nikolai Lenin, Poetry - GTC, Russia

Dear Leader Vladimir Putin

i look like sinister kgb chief yet charm russians as masculine action man judo throwing men over my hip horseback riding bare chest muscles bright in sun hunting and fishing russians know my leadership saved from chaos following biggest geopolitical disaster twentieth century crumbling soviet union i established order led economic boom and denounced united […]

Also posted in Joseph Stalin, Poetry - GTC, Russia, Vladimir Putin

Empty Boots

on massive foundation in budapest park great hungarian patriots erected me twenty-five feet high in bronze to celebrate seventieth birthday and thank for destroying nazis in few years without me imperialists threw steel ropes around neck burned legs with blow torches and pulled body down to desecrate face beneath empty boots To see the “Empty […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Communism, Hungarian, Joseph Stalin, Nazis, Poetry - GTC, Russia, World War II

Fidel Castro Forever

I know what some are saying, that I’m a hick from a sugar plantation and loco because on a dare I rammed my bicycle into a prep school wall and knocked myself unconscious. They think I’m a hotheaded and dangerous young man who may someday kill people, and might already have as a politically-obsessed law […]

Also posted in Bay of Pigs, Communism, Cuba, Fidel Castro, John F. Kennedy, Joseph McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Russia