Category Archives: Ukraine
Putin Fights Fascists in Ukraine
It is my duty to speak and my nature to lead. Russians and all others respect the most fearsome martial artist who’s ever guided any nation and the special friend of a sensuous young woman. I bring strength, insight, and animal appeal into any environment I grace. Right now, more than ever, my stage is […]
Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Leningrad, Napoleon, NATO, Russia, Vladimir Putin, World War II
Mayor Klitschko’s Successes
I didn’t worry about ragged furniture in my office at Kiev City Hall. The city looked much worse as unemployment rose, wages fell, our till stood empty, protestors lived in tents a hundred meters from my office, and Russian troops mobilized on our eastern border. The big bears intended to convince all Ukrainians, and especially […]
Also posted in Bermane Stiverne, Boxing, Kiev, Mixed Martial Arts, Ronda Rousey, Russia, Vitali Klitschko, Vladimir Putin, Wladimir Klitschko
Klitschko and Putin Battle over Airliner
“This is Mayor Vitali Klitschko of Kiev, calling for President Vladimir Putin,” I said. “Just a minute, sir.” One minute had become fifteen when the receptionist returned and said, “President Putin is in meetings and will not be able to take your call.” “Tomorrow, then.” “Sorry, no.” I hung up and arranged for a private […]
Also posted in Boxing, Malaysia, Planes, Russia, Vitali Klitschko, Vladamir Putin, Wladimir Klitschko
Putin Grieves for Odessa
Quit denouncing Russia and listen to those more knowledgeable who explain the corrupt regime in Ukraine criminally seized power. Understand that I will not much longer permit atrocities against my people. Accept that I have sufficient troops ready to protect the innocent. Admit you can’t stop me. Ask yourself why you would want to. Note […]
Also posted in Russia, Vladimir Putin
Putin Writes Kerry
To John Kerry Secretary of State Dear Secretary Kerry, Worry not about the Russian army I don’t want to unleash but beware of me if you keep accusing us of agitating in eastern Ukraine. I may ultimately treat you like a gangly puppet on a loose string. Keep your bad breath out of our faces. […]
Also posted in Crimea, Russia, Vladimir Putin
Nikita Khrushchev Explains
Don’t blame me Vladimir Putin’s grabbing the Crimea sixty years after I bestowed that lovely peninsula on Ukraine, the great Russian Breadbasket where I’d forged my political career and found a bride. Listen to my son, Sergei. He’s a wizard in computers and missiles and holds multiple advanced degrees and teaches at Brown University and […]
Also posted in Crimea, Cuba, Fidel Castro, John F. Kennedy, Nikita Khrushchev, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Soviet Union, Vladimir Putin
Crimean Anschluss
Be assured: if I, instead of slumbering Stalin, had been running Russia in 1941, the Germans wouldn’t have attacked and mauled us because I would’ve already smashed them. I understand what’s necessary. We must keep enemies away from our frontiers. The United States and its European mercenaries will not be allowed to surround us with […]
Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Anschluss, Crimea, Czechoslovakia, Hitler Here, Russia, Vladimir Putin, World War II
Vladimir Putin Attacks
The United States is shaking while all of Europe trembles. They know they can’t stop me. No one can. I’m master politician black belt in judo and consummate stud who took down sacrilegious female rockers Pussy Riot and sent them to jail same place many other critics spend years contemplating dangers of contradicting their leader […]
Also posted in Crimea, Nikita Khrushchev, Pussy Riot, Russia, Vladimir Putin
