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Category Archives: Joseph Stalin

Trump’s Astonishing Offer

I hope you heard when I recently referred to myself as a genius. You know I am or I wouldn’t have gotten elected and then created millions of jobs and eliminated the danger of nuclear war and done many other great things. But many of you, especially Democrats, are having trouble following my recent moves […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Montenegro, NATO, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Vladamir Putin

Stalin Summons Trump

This is entirely unfair. While I had to fight that ruthless bastard Adolf Hitler and form an alliance with shrewd but treacherous capitalists Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchill, my most celebrated successor, Vladimir Putin, is blessed with a world in which his strongest adversary, Donald Trump, isn’t really his enemy but his most ardent admirer. […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Korea, Nuclear Weapons, Soviet Union, Ukraine

Stalin Assesses Syria

I love my giant TV in the sky and hotlines to hell where you still dwell. No longer do I have to worry about the deadly schemes of millions of enemies internal and external and my stressful duty of arresting, torturing, and slaughtering them. Those tasks now fall to others, in many nations, and I’m […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Donald Trump, James Mattis, Jose Abeto Zaide, Missiles, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Syria, Timber Sycamore, Vlade Divac

Stalin v. Hitler

Generally, I don’t interfere when humans fight as I feel they, the self-anointed greatest creatures on earth, should and must cooperate to prevent conflicts from starting or, once unleashed, summon all creativity and emotional self-control to quell hostilities. From 1914-1918 I in anguish observe vast armies slaughter almost twenty million people, maiming many more, and […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Boxing, Germany, Russia, World War II

Where did Hitler Die?

I spent twenty years researching and writing a biographical novel called Hitler Here and hoped, after some post-publication interviews, I’d never have to answer any more related questions, which tended to be either of the “Did Elvis really serenade Hitler on Mars?” or “We sure need another guy like him, don’t we?” variety. Most such […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Donald Trump, Eva Braun, George Thomas Clark, Hitler Here, Holocaust, Joseph Goebbels, World War II

Stalin Makes Comeback

I hope you hypocritical Americans have read the recent article in the Los Angeles Times. If I had said these things, you wouldn’t have believed them. Now you have to accept that in the only place that counts, the vast Soviet Union, I am again a hero to leaders and peasants alike, and that those […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Boris Yeltsin, Leon Trotsky, Mikhail Gorbachev, Poland, Russia, Soviet Union, Vladimir Putin, World War II

Germany Attacks Russia – 73rd Anniversary

These stories are from the biographical novel “Hitler Here”

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, George Thomas Clark, Hitler Here, Moscow, World War II

Last Bodyguard

I study painting like young Fuehrer but as he did abandon studio to protect Fatherland. Stalin’s hordes are occupying other half of Poland in 1939 when someone shoots me in chest. Go home, superiors say. No, I can still serve. They agree and I soon earn introduction to Fuehrer who speaks politely and allows me […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Germany, Russia, Short Pieces - GTC, World War II

Empty Boots

On massive foundation in Budapest park great Hungarian patriots erected me twenty-five feet high in bronze to celebrate seventieth birthday and thank for destroying Nazis. Only few years after I departed imperialists threw steel ropes around neck, burned legs with blow torches, and pulled body down to desecrate face beneath empty boots.

Also posted in Hungary, Nazis, Russia, Short Pieces - GTC, Soviet Union, World War II

Cable Wars

Ben loves war documentaries especially those with Alexander riding Bucephalus into hostile flanks, and Washington rousing frozen untrained troops, and photogenic Grant and Lee posing before ordering slaughter of several hundred thousand young men, and grainy Great War footage showing death in fetid trenches, and better films of proud performers Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Roosevelt, and […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Alexander the Great, Benito Mussolini, Franklin Roosevelt, Robert E. Lee, Short Pieces - GTC, Television, Ulysses S. Grant, War

Vladimir Putin Suppresses Pussy Riot

My Gods are no longer Lenin and Stalin and beautiful communist colossus crumbling during greatest geopolitical disaster of Twentieth Century. Higher power now is Russian Orthodox Church which supports me and ongoing recovery of nation I have rebuilt and led for many years and, God willing, will lead many more. It has thus been sacred […]

Also posted in Communism, Moscow, Pussy Riot, Religion, Russia, Soviet Union, Syria, Vladimir Putin

Berlin Wall Bones

under berlin wall rats chewed bones of lenin and stalin

Also posted in Berlin, Communism, Europe, Germany, Nikolai Lenin, Poetry - GTC, Russia, Soviet Union

Dear Leader Vladimir Putin

i look like sinister kgb chief yet charm russians as masculine action man judo throwing men over my hip horseback riding bare chest muscles bright in sun hunting and fishing russians know my leadership saved from chaos following biggest geopolitical disaster twentieth century crumbling soviet union i established order led economic boom and denounced united […]

Also posted in Poetry - GTC, Russia, Soviet Union, Vladimir Putin

From Hungary to Hollywood with Actress and Filmmaker Klaudia Kovacs

On a cold and windy late afternoon in Tehachapi, as light mountain rain pricked my bare arms, I hustled inside Beekay Theater to see the annual Playwright’s Festival, nine ten-minute plays created, produced, directed, and acted by local talent. Ordinarily, Los Angeles induces theatrical binges but I was intrigued by a newspaper paragraph noting “Bill […]

Also posted in Communism, Georgi Zhukov, Henry Kissinger, Hungary, Janos Kadar, Klaudia Kovacs, Laszlo Kovacs, Nikita Khrushchev, Russia, Theater

Empty Boots

on massive foundation in budapest park great hungarian patriots erected me twenty-five feet high in bronze to celebrate seventieth birthday and thank for destroying nazis in few years without me imperialists threw steel ropes around neck burned legs with blow torches and pulled body down to desecrate face beneath empty boots To see the “Empty […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Communism, Hungarian, Nazis, Poetry - GTC, Russia, Soviet Union, World War II

Germany Attacked Russia 70 Years Ago

(On June 22, 1941 Germany invaded the Soviet Union, unleashing the bloodiest confrontations in history.) Please click here to read an excerpt from “Hitler Here.”

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Georgi Zhukov, Germany, Heinz Guderian, Holocaust, Leningrad, Moscow, Russia, Ukraine, World War II