Asia

The Elephant

April 29, 2019

We were in a natural history museum and I asked my wife to back up and pose between the enormous tusks of an elephant whose stunning head and elevated trunk protruded from the wall. “How long’s this magnificent beast been dead?” I asked the docent. “At least fifty years,” he said, smiling as he passed.…

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World According to Americans

June 6, 2012

Don’t know if they were godless communists or radical Muslims but some outrageous critters emailed world map insulting Americans. On map they write we think Canada’s uninhabited. Bull feathers. We know few icy people live up there, and they sure as hell want to be like Alaska next door, which is now America except for…

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Kim Jong-Il Attacks Again

November 29, 2010

Don’t dare celebrate Western exaggerations that my body’s withered by a stroke and my face twisted into a mask of fading comprehension. I’m still mighty Kim Jong-Il and determined to confront those who claim they’re blessed with freedom and nutrition but are in fact imperialistic criminals using economic sanctions to punish my starving North Korean…

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Kim Jong Il Celebrates Sixty Years of War

July 5, 2010

I am in splendid health. Reports of my suffering strokes and other debilitating maladies are simply the delusions of enemies who refuse to admit that the great North Korean nation built by my late father, Kim Il Sung, and I is a fountain of wealth, happiness, and awesome military power. I recently celebrated my good…

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Highlights from the 2008 Olympics

August 28, 2008

I see many noble commentators have downplayed if not altogether ignored Olympic sports in order to rebuke China for a range of civil rights concerns and thereby imply the nation today is as ill as in the era of Mao, who shred at least as much flesh as Hitler and Stalin.  China has in fact…

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