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Category Archives: Raul Castro

Fidel Calls Trump

I generally ignore tweets but an aide excitedly brings me this: “Fidel Castro is dead.” I’m not surprised Donald Trump is celebrating my reported departure, though I think it’s unseemly for imminent heads of state to publicly gloat about the passing of peers, so I tell the young man, “Bring me my phone.” I should’ve […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Cuba, Donald Trump, Fidel Castro, Fulgencio Batista, Golf, Ivanka Trump, Trump University

Castro Brothers Collide

Can you imagine my tiny brother, President Raul Castro, who would’ve cut sugar cane if not for my political power, ordering me to stay home during Barack Obama’s historic trip to Cuba? I am still the embodiment of the Cuban Revolution. I am still, at least spiritually, the commander in chief. It is I, far […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Cuba, Fidel Castro

Bernie-Hillary Debate Party

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Bernie Sanders, Campaign 2016, Cuba, Donald Trump, Fidel Castro, Hillary Clinton, Jorge Ramos, Marco Rubio, Maria Elena Salinas, Muammar Gaddafi, Ronald Reagan, Ted Cruz

What Happened to Camilo Cienfuegos?

Please remember that on October twenty-sixth, 1959, at a massive rally outside the presidential palace in Havana, thousands of Cubans cheered the leader of the revolution, Fidel Castro, who launched another interminable speech. At a point when rational listeners began to tire, Camilo Cienfuegos, commander of the rebel army, arrived and stepped onto the stage […]

Also posted in Camilo Cienfuegos, Che Guevara, Cuba, Fidel Castro, Fulgencio Batista

Fidel Meets Marco Rubio

At a time and location neither man will acknowledge, Fidel Castro, age eighty-eight but still a political stalwart even in semi-retirement, shakes hands with United States Senator Marco Rubio, who’s half his age. “Mucho gusto,” Fidel says. “I’m proud you’ve done so well in American politics.” “If you hadn’t forced countless citizens into exile, I’d […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Campaign 2016, Cuba, Fidel Castro, Florida, Marco Rubio

Outraged by Castro-Loving Obama

Thank God our Republican Party is now resolved to prevent the worst president in history, Barack Hussein Obama, from normalizing relations with Cuba. How dare he try to throw our nation in bed with Caribbean communists and characterize our Cuban policy of more than fifty years as being outdated and a failure? It has been […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Communism, Conservatives, Cuba, Dwight Eisenhower, Fidel Castro, Florida, John F. Kennedy, Marco Rubio, Richard Nixon

Spring Break in Cuba

In the twilight of their lives the once-intransigent Castro brothers, Fidel and Raul, have begun behaving in at least moderately encouraging ways. Fidel recently summoned writer Jeffery Goldberg of The Atlantic magazine and told him President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran was outrageous for demanding the destruction of Israel and a nincompoop for continuing to insist […]

Also posted in Angola, Baseball, Cuba, Czechoslovakia, Ernest Hemingway, Ethiopia, Fidel Castro, George Thomas Clark, Havana, Health, Holocaust, Iran, John F. Kennedy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mickey Mantle, Nicaragua, Nikita Khrushchev, Roger Maris, San Francisco, Travel, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, Writers