Category Archives: Benjamin Netanyahu

Land of Netanyahu

I don’t care if I lose the election. It doesn’t matter if my traitorous enemies frame me for corruption. I care only for Israel. I could have retired years ago. I’m running again only because I’ve been prime minister ten straight glorious years during which Israel has grown and gotten stronger in order to survive […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Israel, Palestine

Trump Twists Netanyahu

In their private communications rooms in Washington, D.C. and Jerusalem, Donald Trump and Benjamin Netanyahu stand before movie screens and gaze at each other before breaking into smiles. “Great to see you, Mr. President. I just wish I could shake your hand.” “We’ll soon be shaking hands again, Bibi, but right now I have a […]

Also posted in Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Donald Trump, Ilhan Omar, Israel, Middle East, Palestine, Rashida Tlaib

Trump Heights

“Congratulations, President Trump,” says Benjamin Netanyahu, prime minister of Israel, speaking into a hotline. “We’ve just erected a large sign celebrating Trump Heights where the bloodthirsty Syrians claimed ownership of the Golan Heights until you said it belongs to my country. Thank you so much.” “You’re quite welcome, Bibi. Thank God for you as well […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Mohammed bin Salman, Saudi Arabia, Syria

Bibi’s New Home

In my beautiful brown fortress on Balfour Street, cleverly named after the Balfour Declaration, in our eternal capital of Jerusalem, I’m dreaming about ever-expanding settlements when awakened by shouts and thundering footsteps that crush my bedroom door and leave my imperial bed surrounded by armed men speaking Arabic. “Guards, kill them at once,” I order. […]

Also posted in Balfour Declaration, Israel, Jerusalem, Palestine

One State or Two

I knew I was going to be a hell of a president but, frankly, I underestimated myself. I’ve got a great feel for diplomacy and international relations. Did you see me at the news conference last week with Prime Minister Abe after the North Koreans had test fired another ballistic missile? I coolly let the […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Middle East, Palestine, Syria

Bibi the Builder

For thousands of years the Jewish people have had a biblical right to Judea and Samaria, and since our grand defensive victory during the Six Day War in 1967 we’ve wielded not merely the moral but the political and military right to protect the rest of Israel by administering this land still inhabited by radicals […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Israel, Palestine, United Nations

Netanyahu Young and Old

A generation ago young Benjamin Netanyahu, then Israeli ambassador to the United Nations, appeared on numerous American news telecasts, and I recall thinking what a bright and articulate fellow he was, and considered him reasonable in asserting Israel’s right of self defense while also at least suggesting the Palestinians had rights and legitimate aspirations in […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Apartheid, George Thomas Clark, Hitler Here, Holocaust, Palestine

Netanyahu Campaigns in America

Thank you very much, and thank all the Americans who have so generously amended their constitution to permit me, a man not native to this great country but who in many ways is inherently American, to try to achieve my greatest dream and become your president. I deserve your votes, and in fact am now […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Campaign 2016, Gaza, Israel, Middle East, Palestine

Saddam Confronts Netanyahu

After Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s most recent sermon to the Congress of the United States, he marched into his palatial D.C. hotel suite where Saddam Hussein romped with several robust young women. The political titans excused their guests and bodyguards, and this conversation, preserved by a Mossad recording device, followed: Benjamin Netanyahu – What the […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Nuclear Weapons, Saddam Hussein, Vietnam

Netanyahu Assails Rouhani

All Iranian leaders are wolves. Ahmadinejad dressed like wolf so was less dangerous than new President Hassan Rouhani who’s disguised as sheep so can pull wool over international eyes. He wants you to forget decade ago he masterminded hiding nuclear weapons program. He didn’t fool Israel. No one fools us. And we pray he won’t […]

Also posted in Hassan Rouhani, Iran, Israel, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Middle East, Nuclear Weapons

Netanyahu Silent about Chief of Staff

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Iran, Israel, Middle East, Nuclear Weapons, Poetry - GTC

Netanyahu Prays for Iran

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Iran, Israel, Middle East, Nuclear Weapons, Poetry - GTC

Obama, Netanyahu, and Abbas to Meet

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Iran, Israel, Mahmoud Abbas, Middle East, Palestine