Cleveland
LeBron Speaks Up
I really hesitate to step forward. I’m not the meddler many say. I simply lobby for what’s best for my team. I complimented Luke Walton for good coaching late this season. I tried to protect him. Ignore those who say I’d already ordered my lieutenants to undercut him. Magic Johnson wanted him out anyway. Luke…
Read MoreLeBron Updates Free Agency
Please ignore reports I screamed like an unanesthetized dental patient upon learning that stellar forward Paul George, presumed to be bound for the glorious Los Angeles Lakers, instead signed to stay a few years on the arid plain of Oklahoma City. I confess I did shout in pain but the source was physical rather than…
Read MoreLeBron Hires Hypnotist
Siefried, the world’s preeminent hypnotist, proudly steps into the Cavaliers locker room after game three and says, “Where is LeBron? I’ve come to accept his congratulations.” “I’m right here, you charlatan,” says the star, stepping close and looking down. “I beg your pardon. Can you not count?” “I count fine. We just lost by eight…
Read MoreSteph Curry Rescues LeBron
After game two Dan Gilbert marches into the locker room of his Cleveland Cavaliers and tugs the back of LeBron James’ jersey. “Hey, we gotta talk.” “I’ll give you five minutes when we get back to Cleveland.” “You’ll talk now or I’ll suspend you the rest of this series.” “Sure, we’re down two-oh and I’m…
Read MoreLeBron Declares: Referees Robbed Us
Following game one of the NBA finals, it’s unfortunate fans can’t celebrate my masterful fifty-one points to lead the Cleveland Cavaliers to an upset over the formidable Golden State Warriors. Instead, we’re talking about obtuse referees who turned a great game into a farce. Late in the fourth quarter, I cleanly stripped the ball from…
Read MoreLeBron Previews NBA Finals
I’m thankful to be drowsy en route to dreamland where I can forget my body’s thirty-three-years old and tired from playing more minutes than anyone in the league and twice carrying us to playoff victories in game seven, and that almost everyone’s saying the Warriors are too good no matter what LeBron does, they’ve got…
Read MoreGilbert Demands Examination of LeBron
In a lather, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert calls and tells me to get online and click the link he just sent. I do so and listen as he says, “Who the hell’s that little dude standing next to Joel Embid after the game? Looks like he’s smiling up at his hero. And check out poor…
Read MoreCavaliers Reshape the World
Quietly I enter Dan Gilbert’s office and ease into a corner to watch him stare at a massive wall map of the United States. Every few seconds he tightens arms locked across his chest and juts his jaw at various targets – NBA cities across the land. LeBron James and general manager Koby Altman stand…
Read MoreFall of Pop
warriors bomb spurs lebron fires popovich
Read MoreInternal James
in crunch throw king james ball don’t really want but gotta dribble hard in place rather not drive now maybe i’ll shoot from timbuktu or you do something
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