Category Archives: Sex

Sleeping with Marcos

I hope you know that as a young man I survived the Bataan Death March and escaped to build a tough and dedicated group of fighters who trained in mountains and jungles as we waited to strike Japanese invaders trying to destroy our country as well as the United States. Some hapless political opponents later […]

Also posted in Ferdinand Marcos, Imelda Marcos, Philippines

Picasso Tames Her

Francoise’s much taller and lovelier than I and forty years younger losing control and I am too but mustn’t let her know. The following night as she envelops me I pinch and pull her breasts and thrust my hand and bite her neck and scratch with my whiskers and huff like a bull she’ll never […]

Also posted in Aging, Art, Francoise Gilot, Pablo Picasso, Painters

Nobel Prize Knockout

That evening in Mexico City I witnessed a historical confrontation or, rather, a sucker punch in the dastardly vein of Pearl Harbor. At the time, as a callow young man teaching English in the exotic capital, I understood nothing of the significance of the event, and no one could have known – though some scholars […]

Also posted in Barcelona, Boxing, Colombia, Cuba, Fidel Castro, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Mario Vargas Llosa, Marriage, Peru, Writers

Hillary Clinton v. Monica Lewinsky

I’m laughing when not growling about what Republicans, rather pathetically, are praying is true about me, that I’m fat and sickly and incapable of campaigning a week much less a year, and my book is selling poorly, and, most outrageously, that both the ghostly and earthly presence of Monica Lewinsky will preclude me from defeating […]

Also posted in Bill Clinton, Boxing, Hillary Clinton, Marriage, Monica Lewinsky

Silvio Berlusconi

Those saying I’m thief and libertine are fools. I’m suave multi-billionaire media mogul who as prime minister and consummate politician dominated Italy for generation. Regrettably, latest idiots are three dowdy female judges, jealous of Berlusconi allure for gorgeous young women, who sentenced me to seven years prison and banned from politics for life. They won’t […]

Also posted in Italy, Short Pieces - GTC, Silvio Berlusconi

Waiting Room

Waiting room roar: she cheats so does he they’re divorcing and lucky to escape. You can’t. Doctor always late and secretary refuses to shoot TV.

Also posted in Divorce, Doctors, Health, Marriage, Short Pieces - GTC

Next Door

Customers of lady on next farm often crossed Hilmer’s property and damaged fence. I’m gonna get those bastards, he told wife. Ever catch anyone, she asked. Not yet. Just Eddie. I didn’t father no bastard. Maybe you have twin who did.

Also posted in Families, Marriage, Prostitution, Short Pieces - GTC

House Arrest

Lady says she’s sad three teenagers kidnapped in Cleveland decade ago and caged prior to serial rape. Lady doesn’t understand, though, how pervert so long suppressed they couldn’t kill or escape or make noise to alert neighbors. She cites first job, as maid. Employer demanded she join wife for threesome in bed. When she shouted […]

Also posted in Crime, Kidnapping, Short Pieces - GTC

Lady Driver

Burly female bus driver let off all passengers save last man on route. When she passed final step he yelled hey. She pulled onto dark street. Next week police found body battered and abused. Bus driver was questioned then released.

Also posted in Crime, Murder, Rape, Short Pieces - GTC

Honeymoon

Following long engagement and big wedding Sarah and Justin flew to dream honeymoon on Maui. First night, as couple entered seaside dining room, Steve said, hi Sarah. Who’s that, Justin asked. Guy from high school. Hello there, said Jim. Justin looked at wife. He was in college English class, I think. Waiter arrived at table […]

Also posted in Dating, Marriage, Short Pieces - GTC

Snapshots of Distressing Events – Just Published

In compressed language George Thomas Clark presents Snapshots of Distressing Events. A distraught man confronts noisy neighbors, one couple is enveloped by infidelity, another’s destroyed by violence, drinkers and drug users have some fun but more trouble, people stumble in matters of money, medical destiny is determined by mishaps, malice, and chance, members of the […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Economics, George Thomas Clark, Marriage, Media, Mental Health, Michael Savage, Murder, Politics, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Snapshots of Distressing Events

Child Bride

When she was fifteen family received money and jewelry and said she had to marry him. In five years she bore four children. Unhappy she wasn’t always available, husband acquired girlfriend. Wife protested but lived with in-laws who kept her busy cooking and cleaning. After she, husband, and children moved to United States, he tired […]

Also posted in Children, Divorce, Marriage, Religion, Short Pieces - GTC

Big Exam

Harry put on extra cologne and best suit. He was excited. After several weeks exchanging Romance.net emails with beautiful Patricia, he received invitation to dine at house. He knocked. Barefoot and in silk bathrobe she opened door. “Thought you’d be wearing one of your elegant dresses,” he said. “Please step into bedroom and take off […]

Also posted in Internet, Romance, Short Pieces - GTC

Pasadena Bedrooms

Tour of stately homes in Pasadena was interesting but unsurprising until, in large second-floor master bedroom of 1920s matron, man pointed to small adjoining room with bed visible through glass doors. “Didn’t she like privacy?” “Frankly, she did not,” said handsome female tour guide. “While busy in bed, she kept fresh man entertained in other […]

Also posted in Pasadena, Short Pieces - GTC

Sleep Issues

Driving elbow into ribs, Patti said, “Quit snoring.” As Bill did not waken, she drilled again. “What hell?” “You’re ruining sleep.” “You don’t sleep,” he said. “Because you always roll around and snort like pig.” “That’s not why.” “Go to guest bedroom.” Bill complied and was soon snoring. Patti stared at dark ceiling and wondered […]

Also posted in Health, Marriage, Short Pieces - GTC, Sleep

Tips from a Pimp

Don’t call me a bad guy. Most of my girls are cursed and molested at home by parents, stepparents, mothers’ boyfriends, and others, and feel worthless when I find them on the run or hanging in the streets. You don’t have to take this, I tell them. You’re a beautiful young lady. Come with me. […]

Also posted in Child Molestation, Prostitution, Slavery

Arousing Einstein

Bereft of traditional McLaughlin Group debating team old host John interviews two scholars who reveal Einstein was womanizer propelled by nuclear libido erupting from supernova brain later carved into fifty bite-size pieces. The male scholar knows everything about Einstein’s infinite adventures and betrayals and writes many books about subject. Female scholar doesn’t know much but […]

Also posted in Albert Einstein, Marriage, McLaughlin Group, Short Pieces - GTC

In Ripley’s Museum

Gladys wants to go to Ripley’s Museum. “I’d rather not. I don’t believe most they say.” “It’s all true, and, besides, it’s my turn to choose.” I concede, and we drive down filthy and crowded Hollywood Boulevard, park on asphalt in fenced recreational area, and walk two pungent blocks through panhandlers, sidewalk jewelry vendors, and […]

Also posted in Los Angeles, Marriage, Ripley's Museum

Two Brides

Pretty Colombian bride with Anglo surname returns to adult ESL class for quick writing tip and says she’s in college taking fifty units this semester to become nurse. Two years later pretty Colombian bride about ten years older enters and signs same last name. After class teacher asks if they’re related, and she frowns saying […]

Also posted in Colombia, Education, Marriage, Short Pieces - GTC

Online General

Have you fought in war? Have you been shot at? Ever killed anyone? Ordered people into battle? Seen field of corpses? Held dying comrade in arms? Tried to comfort loved ones of dead? Worried what horrors are next? That’s what I thought. So shut bourgeois mouths. I’m in charge of American troops in Afghanistan and […]

Also posted in Afghanistan, David Petraeus, Internet, John Allen, Marriage, Short Pieces - GTC

Counterattack

I’m West Point graduate who ran varsity cross country and track and served in Army Reserve, specializing in military intelligence and counterterrorism. In 2006 I earned master’s degree in international studies and met general and told about academic interest in career. He handed me business card, stressed he’d always been mentor, and said stay in […]

Also posted in Afghanistan, CIA, David Petraeus, Iraq, Marriage, Middle East, Short Pieces - GTC, Taliban, West Point

Child Prostitutes Get Younger

This is outrageous. I finally convince my wife I have business in Southeast Asia, pay thousands to fly to Cambodia, and the lousy pimp offers me a girl twelve years old and claims she’s a virgin. Like hell. I know she’s been sewn up. No way four thousand, I say, not three either, two thousand […]

Also posted in Cambodia, Child Molestation, Children, Movies, Prostitution, Slavery, Southeast Asia

When Dad’s a Pervert

My name’s Diana Cisneros. I’m twenty-six years old, from Bakersfield, and want to tell you this story. My dad was a salesman and weekend preacher. My mom had a home day care center. Dad always had to look perfect on the outside but in truth was an angry and violent man who physically abused our […]

Also posted in Child Molestation, Children, Prostitution, Religion, Slavery

Children as Sex Slaves

Jeff is in Cambodia, portraying a pedophile in search of little girls. He’s learned they’re being held in several pens dispersed in the village, and arranges to meet a trafficker who brags he has many for rent. What kind do you want? About this tall? He extends a hand. That too big? He lowers his […]

Also posted in Cambodia, Child Molestation, Children, Prostitution, Slavery

Wired

On cold night drunk in another bar he met chunky woman who opened purse and showed white powder they snorted in car. At apartment she called neighbor who walked over, sold more, asked for hit, and took three, firing thousand words before leaving. They burned noses and strained hearts two hours before moving upstairs and […]

Also posted in Alcohol, Drugs, Mental Health, Methamphetamine, Short Pieces - GTC

Barack and Michelle Obama Audio Soars on Internet

My outlook must be unaligned with that of the masses for I here certify most television programs and commercials are insipid and only morons watch reality shows, which I’ve done but once, when compelled to write about the domestic activities of presidential aspirant Sarah Palin. On a recent night, while watching the muscular students of […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Campaign 2012, Football, Marriage, Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Theater

Jacob Zuma Demands Dignity

I am “shocked and feel personally offended and violated” by racist painting “The Spear” by white artist Brett Murray who portrays me like Lenin in suit but with penis exposed. This is not political satire, like opponent says, but form of “hate speech,” as one proud daughter notes. I know joke. Which daughter? Which son? […]

Also posted in Africa, AIDS, Art, Jacob Zuma, Painters, Rape, Short Pieces - GTC, South Africa

Border Patrol

Ed would’ve quit job if he’d had one to jump in pickup high on four big wheels and speed down here to stop millions of illegal aliens from invading country and committing crimes, devouring welfare and health care, and overcrowding classrooms. Those people had also destroyed integrity on building sites, jabbering in Spanish before stealing […]

Also posted in Immigration, Mexico, Short Pieces - GTC

The Hussy

Years ago as child visiting relatives in small community on western slope of high Sierra, I heard one woman tell another, “Fay Hendricks is hussy,” and they nodded. “What’s that?” I asked. “Never mind.” I figured hussy must be insult but until recent night didn’t pursue personal details. “Fay’s son just got married for first […]

Also posted in Cars & Driving, Doctors, Health, Marriage, Short Pieces - GTC

Dalliance in Colombia

Look, we were just relaxing at hotel bar in Cartagena. Even secret service agents and soldiers have right to relax. Indeed, we had duty to unwind because if uptight we might not be as attuned to potential danger to President Obama, who was going to arrive in few days. What’s big deal about twenty of […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Colombia, Marriage, Prostitution, Secret Service - U.S., Short Pieces - GTC

Downtown Drinkers

Tim and Billy were barhopping in brand new old downtown. They always drank too much and Tim used buzz to talk to women. Billy usually became quieter. On Saturday night Tim brought young woman back to table and charmed her while Billy tried to say few words. When she went to restroom Tim told Billy […]

Also posted in Alcohol, Families, Friendship, Short Pieces - GTC

Evil Eye

why look at me like that email link only for aesthetic reasons

Also posted in Internet, Poetry - GTC

Joan Bennett Allure

decades ago sultry actress joan bennett parked car in public lot leading to private time with agent on afternoon husband spotted car still there hours later waited till night when joan and agent returned she entered car and agent stood at window for passionate goodnight husband interrupted with two shots to groin agent survived to […]

Also posted in Joan Bennett, Marriage, Movies, Poetry - GTC

New Employee

new employee pulls my eyes hardens hers couple months later feel gentler look up say wait aren’t you

Also posted in Poetry - GTC

Little Honey

little honey married and too young hope she knows too

Also posted in Marriage, Mental Health, Poetry - GTC

Party

at party naked couple hugs painting each other

Also posted in Art, Painters, Poetry - GTC

Orange Ladies

two mouths pout under hats above dresses sexy or mean better assume mean and sexy

Also posted in Art, Painters, Poetry - GTC

Edvard Munch Stretched on Canvas

Self-Portrait, 1881-1882 surprised handsome late teens expected tight jaw eyes tunneling turmoil To see Self Portrait, 1881-1882, please click here Despair thoughts of faceless man fall into frigid hole pushed by dead water beneath sky bleeding more blank faces To see Despair, please click this link Evening on Karl Johan Street, 1892 hate walking on […]

Also posted in Art, Depression, Edvard Munch, Loneliness, Mental Health, Painters, Poetry - GTC, Psychology

Madonna Interlude

aficionado excited madonna appeared unintroduced lassoed neck with skinny muscular arm unzipped pants pulled off slid out dress hopped on surprising but not disappointing when realized was another blonde

Also posted in Dreams, Madonna, Music, Poetry - GTC

Wired in Bed

cold night drunk in ‘eighties bar met chunky woman who showed some white powder we snorted in car at apartment she called woman who came sold more asked for hit and took three firing thousand words before leaving we burned noses and strained hearts couple hours before moving upstairs about two and were nonstop at […]

Also posted in Drugs, Mental Health, Methamphetamine, Poetry - GTC

Arousing Einstein

bereft of traditional mcglaughlin group debating team old host john interviews two scholars who reveal einstein was womanizer propelled by nuclear libido erupting from supernova brain later carved into fifty bite size pieces the male scholar knows everything about einstein’s infinite adventures and betrayals and writes many books about the master the female scholar doesn’t […]

Also posted in Albert Einstein, Nuclear Weapons, Physics, Poetry - GTC

Herman Cain Explains

There’s liberal conspiracy by those who don’t want real independent black man to be president so claim I propositioned some ladies at restaurant conventions inviting them to my room where they’d have been lucky with charming rich rascal like me. I guarantee those women are lying or exaggerating I don’t recall which except settlements they […]

Also posted in Campaign 2012, Herman Cain, Poetry - GTC, Republicans

Strong Maids

for protection i demanded two maids and they always appeared in tandem and everything worked fine till the day they locked the door bound my hands and had their way

Also posted in Poetry - GTC

Fragrance

fragrance of a new dimension compels me irrevocably

Also posted in Poetry - GTC

Lady for Lucian Freud

brother says he’d never do old woman and young women with old men are gross but i don’t care since i’m just modeling for lucian freud who’s damn good looking for guy in eighties hair thick and combed back sophisticated gray over patrician face and strong body it’s cool he’s freud’s grandson who talks to […]

Also posted in Art, Lucian Freud, Painters, Poetry - GTC, Psychology, Sigmund Freud

Mitt Romney Sleeps

mitt romney behaves too well talks too swell looks too good and bores like hell

Also posted in Campaign 2012, Mitt Romney, Poetry - GTC, Republicans

Michele Bachmann Sweet

short and slender wrapped up sweet

Also posted in Campaign 2012, Michele Bachmann, Poetry - GTC, Politics

Michelle Obama Arms

your long arms squeeze

Also posted in Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Poetry - GTC, Politics

Sarah Palin Swings

better you ain’t runnin’ cuz you need full time luvin’

Also posted in Alaska, Campaign 2012, Poetry - GTC, Sarah Palin

Iraqi Women

When I was twelve my father, a failed shopkeeper, received money and jewelry from an old man of forty who took me as his wife. The first time alone was a nightmare like every time before another old man, who I’m sure paid my husband, took me to live in a large old house surrounded […]

Also posted in Iraq, Prostitution, Women's Rights

George W. Bush on Men and Women

Remember that great photo a few years ago of me holding hands and smooching with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, who looked cool with black mustache and goatee glistening under his white keffiyeh headdress. He’s one of the richest oil guys in the world and always nice to me. The Saudis are my friends. And […]

Also posted in George W. Bush, Iraq, King Abdullah, Middle East, Osama bin Laden, Saudi Arabia

Pauline’s Fabulous Whorehouse

Your houses are worth about half what you owe, gas is rocketing past four bucks a gallon, food’s gotten so precious you’re eating more lettuce than meat, and you’ve already told the kids to forget those elite universities and instead plan to attend local community colleges while they scramble for fast food jobs. Don’t be […]

Also posted in Bowling Green, Charity, Dick Cavett, Floods, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisville, Obesity, Pauline Tabor, Prostitution, Western Kentucky University

Romancing Women during the Birth of Impressionism

My friend Higgins, the eternal bachelor, had been urging me to introduce him to some of the vibrant women in the current Birth of Impressionism show I curated at the De Young Museum in San Francisco’s lush Golden Gate Park. All right, I ultimately told him last week, come on over, park in the new […]

Also posted in Art, Edouard Manet, Impressionism, James McNeill Whistler, Museums, Painters, San Francisco

Thomas Eakins Gets Physical

I’m honored the renowned Los Angeles County Museum of Art is presenting a major exhibition of my work entitled “Manly Pursuits: The Sporting Images of Thomas Eakins.” With a substantial, though not entirely toxic, level of bitterness I must inform you that such recognition was rarely forthcoming during my lifetime, and then quite late in […]

Also posted in Art, Education, Homosexuals, LACMA, Museums, Painters, Philadelphia, Realism, Thomas Eakins

Islamic Conference

At annual Islamic Conference robed African imam declares indecently-dressed women cause atrocities and rape. When question and answer session arrives I write two inquiries on file card provided by man in Western suit: “Are you saying scantily-dressed women are asking to be raped? Don’t men have obligation to control themselves?” I worry imam will ignore […]

Also posted in George Thomas Clark, Islam, Religion, Women's Rights

Hypocrites Still Attacking Tiger Woods

I am honored today to speak for the greatest, most powerful and God-fearing creatures who have yet graced the earth, the white American male. For three months now we have been in the throes of moral outrage because Tiger Woods, after years of profitably portraying himself as a dedicated and monogamous family man, was revealed […]

Also posted in Golf, Marriage, Tiger Woods

Reversing Elin and Tiger Woods

Beautiful Elin Woods, the Athlete of the Decade and, perhaps more significantly, the most compelling entertainer on earth, remains in isolation and is quite depressed.  One understands why.  For thirteen years, until the early and dangerous hours after Thanksgiving Day, Elin had stridden the world’s golf courses as unrivalled queen, and her corporate dominance was […]

Also posted in Golf, Marriage, Tiger Woods

How Tiger Woods Should Respond

Until recent revelations of my weakness for young white female flesh, and the overwhelming moral outrage that followed, I thought in a sexual sense I was a relatively normal guy, that is one ready to squeeze any appealing woman who beckoned.  Now, sadly, after reading countless rabid condemnations in the press and blogosphere and cringing […]

Also posted in Golf, Marriage, Tiger Woods

Management Teams Clarifies Adventures of Tiger Woods

Bulletins from TigerWoods.com Saturday November 28, 11:30 a.m. It is untrue that Tiger Woods is having an affair with a striking New York City celebrity chaser, Rachel Uchitel, and therefore it is a lie that his wife Elin attacked him for so doing.  About 2:25 a.m. Friday November 27, after failing to properly digest turkey […]

Also posted in Golf, Marriage, Tiger Woods

David Carradine: 1936:2009

When friends and I gathered in the mid 1970s for marijuana-fueled TV watching, we usually tuned to football, basketball, and boxing.  The only significant exceptions were episodes of Kung Fu, the legendary series in which Kwai Chang Caine, played by David Carradine, embraced the wise and soothing philosophies of Asian martial artists before he righteously, […]

Also posted in David Carradine, Movies

Muslim Fights Hypocrisy

I can’t tell you name or father and brothers might beat or shoot me. I’m indefinite because don’t think they’d succeed. I’m not like many Muslim women in Europe who pay plastic surgeons thousands to cut semicircles in vaginas and sew up with dissolving stitches to reestablish virginity, primitive standard of purity, so they can […]

Also posted in Islam, Religion

Activist Demands Abstinence

As commander in chief of Parents For Abstinence I must at critical moment in our sexual history warn apocalypse is approaching but still can be stopped. Despite years of immorality and decadence by libidinous liberals, who have driven teen pregnancy rates highest among developed nations, we can regain righteousness and self-control. We can do so […]

Also posted in Conservatives, Religion, Republicans, Short Pieces - GTC