fbpx

Category Archives: John Bolton

On the Brink

From a secret war room, national security advisor John Bolton places his pointer tipped black with an arrow on the wall map, and says, “The Strait of Hormuz is by far the most dangerous place on earth. The Iranians aren’t content to spread terror throughout the Middle East and dream about building nuclear weapons. Now […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Nuclear Weapons, Saddam Hussein

Badass John Bolton

I must tell you that we are in great danger because the Iranians are planning to attack American personnel in the Middle East. This I know because I’m very shrewd analyzing intelligence, and that’s how I knew Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and was preparing to start World War III. Every day I […]

Also posted in Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, George Thomas Clark, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Nuremberg, Saddam Hussein, Vienna, Yemen

Kim Jong Un in Singapore

This evening as I stroll through beautiful grounds of a Singaporean resort people are cheering and squealing like I’m a rock star. This is certainly a good sign for my meeting tomorrow with President Donald Trump. I know he loves stars and winners. The summit begins as the president and I march to each other […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mike Pompeo, Moon Jae-in, Nuclear Weapons, Singapore

Trump Arrives in Singapore

It’s a great honor to participate in the summit meeting with Kim Jong Un, and I’m proud to be the man who made this happen. I really feel like a statesman now. I’m more mature and modest as a leader responsible for the lives of countless millions of people not only in the United States […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korean War, Nuclear Weapons, Singapore

Kim Yong Chol in New York

In a Chinese airliner I fly to New York where atop a beautiful skyscraper my aide and I are dining with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Andrew Kim, America’s purported expert in all matters North Korean and a man whose real name isn’t Andrew Kim. As my nation’s preeminent intelligence and security expert, and […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Kim Yong Chol, Korea, Mike Pompeo, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Cancels Kim

kim said he understood our around-his-neck nuclear exercises with south korea and i explained john bolton’s gaddafi-model gaffe applied to kim’s nukes not his head he’s got to settle down so someday we can actually meet

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Libya, Muammar Gaddafi, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Diplomacy A

i’m going to tell kim jong un denuclearize right away or i’ll attack

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nuclear Weapons

Nobel Delay

I’d never say it, but almost everyone else is: President Trump’s a lock for the Nobel Peace Prize. Obviously, I agree. None of my timid predecessors could have brought Kim Jong Un running to the peace table. Only my threats of unprecedented death and destruction have made peace possible. I’m not worried Kim threatened to […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nobel Prize, Nuclear Weapons

John Bolton Advises Trump

(This conversation was recorded by trusted contacts in the National Security Agency) “I alone have made this historical decision,” said Donald Trump. “Please remember, Mr. President, we do need excuses.” He moves behind his desk in the Oval Office and plants himself. “What excuses could we use?” “The same ones I recommended in the National […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Israel, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Syria

Trumping Iran

No, wise guy, I’m not sitting on the can but an executive chair at a presidential table in the White House and am appropriately stern but proud as I sign the Presidential Memorandum announcing the United States will violate the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action in order to prevent Iran, the most terroristic nation on […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Donald Trump, England, France, Germany, Iran, Nuclear Weapons, Russia

James Mattis Moderates John Bolton

Dr. Harrison didn’t get drunk on fine wines at the party for powerbrokers in Washington, D.C. that recent night but did consume enough to hand the keys to his wife, after only brief debate, and rode shotgun, singing his alma mater’s fight song. At home he again acceded in gentlemanly fashion and, still clothed except […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, James Mattis, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nuclear Weapons, Syria

China Pressures North Korea

(These secret communiques between President Kim Jong Un and President Xi Jinping were intercepted and assembled in March 2018 by the intelligence agencies of the United States and South Korea, and released early this morning.) Kim Jong Un – Mr. President, you’ve slashed imports of our products by eighty percent so far this year. And […]

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nuclear Weapons, Xi Jinping

Guns and War

On the recent Saturday when a few million citizens, many quite young, gathered to protest gun violence in scores of cities and towns from Washington, D.C. to Los Angeles, I boosted several of my Facebook links to stories I’d written about guns and war. These promotions attracted many new readers who, by demographic selection, I’d […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Guns, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mental Health, Murder, NRA, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Interviews John Bolton

I like saying, “You’re fired,” to people who aren’t on board with my views and I’m probably going to say that to my national security advisor, H.R. McMaster. He’s still an active general but no way does he understand war the way I do. And I also think John Bolton knows a lot more about […]

Also posted in Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, Fox News, H.R. McMaster, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nuclear Weapons, Ted Kennedy, Vietnam