Category Archives: Nuclear Weapons
Beware Kim Yo Jong
You know I’ll likely outlive and succeed my obese brother so I must warn mongrel dogs in South Korea to quit contaminating our skies with lying leaflets. Our military is as ever ready for the next action. You don’t know what that will be because we don’t either but we all know how powerful is […]
Also posted in Kim Jong-Un, Kim Yo Jong, Korea
Corona Carrier
I fly to Guam and march onto the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt and over the radio tell almost five thousand crew members this is Navy Secretary Thomas Modly and I’m tired of your complaining about the coronavirus spreading on board and infecting more than one hundred seventy of you who have a mission and […]
Also posted in aircraft carriers, Coronavirus, Donald Trump, Guam, Navy
Memo from Strategist
Quit handwringing and moralizing. If Democrats are to win in 2020 they must find a candidate who’s more appealing than Trump. That may sound easy but who would that be? Which Dem would you bet your house on? I’ve been looking but don’t see anyone who can win. Politics is show business, and Donald Trump […]
Also posted in Campaign 2020, Donald Trump, Iran, Joe Biden, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Why Saudi Oil was Attacked
You want to know who is responsible for the drone strikes that blasted the world’s largest oil distribution facility and temporarily knocked out half of Saudi Arabia’s production. Let’s follow the trail. China, Russia, the United States, and Europeans allies bargained arduously with Iran and in 2015 the nations signed the Joint Comprehensive Plan of […]
Bolton Out
Late on a late summer evening at the White House, Donald Trump and John Bolton are speaking unpleasantly as they walk toward each other and by the time they’re nose to nose they’re almost shouting. “I’m the president.” “Yes, and I’m the national security adviser with decades of experience in foreign policy, and I’m telling […]
Also posted in Afghanistan, Donald Trump, Fox News, Iran, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Taliban
On the Brink
From a secret war room, national security advisor John Bolton places his pointer tipped black with an arrow on the wall map, and says, “The Strait of Hormuz is by far the most dangerous place on earth. The Iranians aren’t content to spread terror throughout the Middle East and dream about building nuclear weapons. Now […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, John Bolton, Saddam Hussein
Donald Mellows
Lighten up. I’m not really planning to go to war with Iran. I hope I don’t have to. I just want them to think I’m ready. The Iranians know John Bolton and Mike Pompeo want war but are also aware I’ve got people around me who’re doves compared to those two. Nobody’s going to push […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nancy Pelosi
Putin Hosts Kim Jong Un
In Vladivostok, on cold east Russian shore of western Pacific, I greet President Kim, who traveled almost seven hundred miles in armored train. I hope someday he will have airplane so he can go places rapidly. This afternoon, at our summit meeting, flanked by interpreters, I smile and motion for Kim to please sit down. […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Russia, Vladimir Putin
Nuclear Restoration
i’d be very disappointed in chairman kim if he’s already rebuilding rocket site he must’ve started right after hanoi but it’s very early report so we’ll see if he thinks i’m dumb he better not forget some day i’m gonna solve this
Also posted in Donald Trump, Hanoi, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Vietnam
Inside the Hanoi Summit
We’re sitting at a long polished wooden table decorated down the middle by small bouquets of flowers dividing Chairman Kim Jong Un and his staff from me and mine. I sense my brilliance and boldness will soon be needed. Eleven presidents who preceded me had sixty-five years to bring real peace to the Korean Peninsula […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Hanoi, Iran, Iraq, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mike Pompeo, Russia, Vietnam, Vladimir Putin
Dining with Kim Jong Un
Chairman Kim and I have dinner Wednesday night in Hanoi at the Metropole Hotel where outside lights give the place a golden look I like at night. It’s a decent five-star hotel, with rooms starting at about three hundred thirty, but not a Trump-caliber place. That’s okay, though. I think Chairman Kim will be comfortable […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Hanoi, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Kim Yong Chol, Korea, Korean War, Mike Pompeo
Trump in Hanoi
People in Hanoi are thrilled I’m here because Kim Jong Un and I are denuclearizing the Korean Peninsula. How do I know? My gut tells me. We’ve already established a great relationship. I’m not in a rush. As long as there’s no testing, I’m happy. Sure, there’s other stuff. We’ll talk about some of it […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Hanoi, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Vietnam
The Big Train
kim jong un’s long armored train chugs north into china then south more than two days almost three thousand miles to sino-vietnamese border where excited hosts greet him and wonder why guy with nuclear weapons travels like that
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Hanoi, Kim Jong-Un, Kim Yong Chol, Korea, Vietnam
State of Emergency
I’m a gambler. I’ve made billions from my casinos and know when to double down. I told Kim Jong Un I’d destroy North Korea if he continued testing ballistic missiles and exploding nuclear bombs. And I ordered renegade Iran to continue abiding by terms of our nuclear deal even after I dumped it. Just look […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Immigration, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Koran, Mexico, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity
State of the Trump
Look at those Democratic ladies dressed in white flags of surrender during my State of the Union address. They know I’ve given Americans their best wages in decades and an economy growing almost twice as fast as when I took office. Some say I inherited a good economy. Not as good as the one we’ve […]
Also posted in Afghanistan, China, Donald Trump, Employment, Iran, Iraq, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Middle East, Russia
James Mattis Writes to Trump
Dear Mr. President, You have the right to a secretary of defense who, like you, does not understand that “our strength as a nation is inextricably linked to the strength of our unique and comprehensive system of alliances.” You have the right, no matter how shortsighted and crude, to disrespect and even insult our traditional […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Europe, James Mattis, Korea, Russia
Strategic Nuclear Trump
I know so much more than my generals I can’t remember all the areas where I’m superior but I sure understand way more about nuclear weapons and how to deal with Iran and North Korea. You probably heard I’ve been choking Iran with sanctions, especially after I bailed out of that horrible nuclear deal. I […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Letter to Mohammed bin Salman
Mohammed, I’m not going to address you as Crown Prince since, like many, I don’t recognize the legitimacy of those who inherit political power unless, as in the case of Kim Jong Un, they’re armed with nuclear weapons. You, Mohammed, have doubtless been quite busy lately, planning or at least overseeing an operation to privately […]
Also posted in Iran, Jamal Khashoggi, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mohammed bin Salman, Saudi Arabia
U.N. Comedian
Standing hefty and happy before the United Nations General Assembly, President Trump says his administration accomplished more in two years than almost any other in our history, evoking much laughter Trump says he didn’t expect. But that’s okay, he’s proud to be an engaging fellow who warns that Iran is a brutal and corrupt regime […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, United Nations
General MacArthur Revisits North Korea
I returned to the Philippines and even returned to the United States after an absence of fourteen years. But, regretfully, I have yet to return to Korea. I saved the Korean people, you’re no doubt aware. Communist hordes from the north, materially aided by the Chinese and Russians, invaded south and almost swept our disorganized […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Douglas MacArthur, Harry Truman, Hiroshima, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Korean War, Nagasaki
Trump Reimposes Sanctions
Good morning, America. I stand tall and tough before you to announce I’m reimposing nuclear-related sanctions against Iran. These sanctions had been lifted by the Obama administration and other misguided leaders in Russia, China, Germany, France, Great Britain, and the European Union. Unlike me, they did not realize the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action is […]
Trump Caps Rouhani
President Trump’s not screaming. He hopes he isn’t or someone may hear. He’s just having another bad dream. Maybe he wouldn’t have so many if he weren’t so damn lonely. Only losers are lonely. He’s a winner so that can’t be the problem. He’s just under a lot of stress. He starts to relax but […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Hassan Rouhani, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Kim Calls Vladimir Putin
Today, in my secret laboratory, I’m listening in stereophonic sound as Kim Jong Un speaks into a phone and says, “Congratulations on your meeting with Donald Trump.” “Thank you, Chairman Kim,” says Vladimir Putin. “Trump and I communicated quite well, and he’s already invited me to visit him.” “He’s quite eager to be to be […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Kim Yong Chol, Korea, Mike Pompeo, Russia, Vladamir Putin
Trump’s Astonishing Offer
I hope you heard when I recently referred to myself as a genius. You know I am or I wouldn’t have gotten elected and then created millions of jobs and eliminated the danger of nuclear war and done many other great things. But many of you, especially Democrats, are having trouble following my recent moves […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Joseph Stalin, Montenegro, NATO, Russia, Vladamir Putin
Misperceptions in North Korea
mike pompeo says wish i’d met with kim jong un this trip but north koreans still negotiated in good faith and we made significant progress toward denuclearization north korea says u.s. betrayed singapore spirit making unilateral and gangster-like demands for denuclearization just like trump’s cancerous predecessors
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mike Pompeo
Kim Debates Himself
Three days after his triumphant return from Singapore, Kim Jong Un visits his dentist’s office for cleaning and a checkup. Under the glare of three security agents the dentist lifts a syringe, smiles, and says, “Just a little Novocain.” “Why Novocain for cleaning?” says one of the tough guys. “The Dear Leader usually has some […]
Also posted in Benito Mussolini, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Libya, Methamphetamine, Muammar Gaddafi
Trump after Singapore
You’d think everyone would be congratulating me about the most extraordinary diplomatic breakthrough in decades, but some aren’t. They’re complaining I conferred legitimacy on a murderous dictator. In fact, I got off my presidential ass, unlike all my predecessors, and traveled thousands of miles to talk to a guy who has lots of nuclear weapons […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Singapore
Fat Kim
ignore lies forty percent north koreans malnourished they all love my big belly
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Kim Jong Un in Singapore
This evening as I stroll through beautiful grounds of a Singaporean resort people are cheering and squealing like I’m a rock star. This is certainly a good sign for my meeting tomorrow with President Donald Trump. I know he loves stars and winners. The summit begins as the president and I march to each other […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mike Pompeo, Moon Jae-in, Singapore
Trump Arrives in Singapore
It’s a great honor to participate in the summit meeting with Kim Jong Un, and I’m proud to be the man who made this happen. I really feel like a statesman now. I’m more mature and modest as a leader responsible for the lives of countless millions of people not only in the United States […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korean War, Singapore
Trump Gets Ready
don’t really need to prepare much for kim jong un just gonna keep massaging my balls
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Kim Yong Chol in New York
In a Chinese airliner I fly to New York where atop a beautiful skyscraper my aide and I are dining with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Andrew Kim, America’s purported expert in all matters North Korean and a man whose real name isn’t Andrew Kim. As my nation’s preeminent intelligence and security expert, and […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, John Bolton, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Kim Yong Chol, Korea, Mike Pompeo
Ayatollah Khomeini Debates the Shah of Iran
I’m writing this commentary in French, the most sublime language, from my Parisian penthouse where I’ve been ruminating for almost forty years. I assure you I remain a most formidable leader and lover, and am primed to educate you about what is happening to Iran. Don’t you wish I, instead of radical and incompetent theocrats, […]
Also posted in Ayatollah Khomeini, Donald Trump, George Thomas Clark, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Jose Abeto Zaide, King Donald, Mike Pompeo, Syria
Trump Cancels Kim
kim said he understood our around-his-neck nuclear exercises with south korea and i explained john bolton’s gaddafi-model gaffe applied to kim’s nukes not his head he’s got to settle down so someday we can actually meet
Also posted in Donald Trump, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Libya, Muammar Gaddafi
Trump Diplomacy B
i’m telling iran stick to nuclear agreement i voided or i’ll attack
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran
Trump Diplomacy A
i’m going to tell kim jong un denuclearize right away or i’ll attack
Also posted in Donald Trump, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Nobel Delay
I’d never say it, but almost everyone else is: President Trump’s a lock for the Nobel Peace Prize. Obviously, I agree. None of my timid predecessors could have brought Kim Jong Un running to the peace table. Only my threats of unprecedented death and destruction have made peace possible. I’m not worried Kim threatened to […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Nobel Prize
John Bolton Advises Trump
(This conversation was recorded by trusted contacts in the National Security Agency) “I alone have made this historical decision,” said Donald Trump. “Please remember, Mr. President, we do need excuses.” He moves behind his desk in the Oval Office and plants himself. “What excuses could we use?” “The same ones I recommended in the National […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Israel, John Bolton, Russia, Syria
Trump Nuclear Strategy
we need more long and intermediate range nukes so what russia will also make more we’ll make more than their more and be on top
Also posted in Donald Trump, Russia, START, Vladimir Putin
Nobel Trump
people ask what i had to with north’s korea’s improved behavior and offer to meet at summit my answer’s simple everything now it’s almost cinch i’ll win nobel peace prize and if i don’t blame kim jong un
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
At the Border
kim jong un walked south across the border kim jae-in walked north across the border and both returned south to discuss making korea nuclear-free and they lived quite happily until real negotiations began
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Moon Jae-in
Korean Melody
k-pop pretty singers travel north after concert lips tight for kim jong un
Also posted in Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Music
James Mattis Moderates John Bolton
Dr. Harrison didn’t get drunk on fine wines at the party for powerbrokers in Washington, D.C. that recent night but did consume enough to hand the keys to his wife, after only brief debate, and rode shotgun, singing his alma mater’s fight song. At home he again acceded in gentlemanly fashion and, still clothed except […]
Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, James Mattis, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Syria
Stalin Assesses Syria
I love my giant TV in the sky and hotlines to hell where you still dwell. No longer do I have to worry about the deadly schemes of millions of enemies internal and external and my stressful duty of arresting, torturing, and slaughtering them. Those tasks now fall to others, in many nations, and I’m […]
Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Donald Trump, James Mattis, Jose Abeto Zaide, Joseph Stalin, Missiles, Russia, Syria, Timber Sycamore, Vlade Divac
China Pressures North Korea
(These secret communiques between President Kim Jong Un and President Xi Jinping were intercepted and assembled in March 2018 by the intelligence agencies of the United States and South Korea, and released early this morning.) Kim Jong Un – Mr. President, you’ve slashed imports of our products by eighty percent so far this year. And […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Iran, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Xi Jinping
Mighty Morals
I accept your passionate call to step in and stop the investigative nonsense that’s enveloping this nuclear nation of bluenose hypocrites. First, we don’t need to know if Donald Trump twelve years ago had a quick roll in the sack with stripper and porn star Stormy Daniels. We also don’t need to know if, during […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Environment, Karen McDougal, Michael Cohen, Robert Mueller, Sex, Stormy Daniels, Trade
Kim Jong Un in China
I have always admired President Xi Jinping and warmly congratulated him last year when he won reelection as general secretary of the central committee, and this year I again sent my regards after he was reelected president in a way that means president for life. Even these overtures seemed insufficient, so I conveyed to President […]
Also posted in Beijing, China, Donald Trump, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Ri Sol Ju, Xi Jinping
Guns and War
On the recent Saturday when a few million citizens, many quite young, gathered to protest gun violence in scores of cities and towns from Washington, D.C. to Los Angeles, I boosted several of my Facebook links to stories I’d written about guns and war. These promotions attracted many new readers who, by demographic selection, I’d […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Guns, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mental Health, Murder, NRA
Trump and Biden Brawl
Joe Biden, former vice president and still a slender six-footer at age seventy-five, stands at the microphone in an elegant Washington, D.C. hotel and, before Democratic governors and their staffs, begins hammering President Donald Trump for cutting taxes for the wealthy, risking a trade war with Europe and Asia, risking nuclear war with North Korea […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Jerry Brown, Joe Biden, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Trade
Manila Bulletin Posts “Trump Interviews John Bolton”
Jose Abeto Zaide, former Philippine ambassador to France and Germany, has again posted one of my columns in the Manila Bulletin. This one is titled “Trump Interviews John Bolton.” “Trump Interviews John Bolton” in the Manila Bulletin “King Donald” by George Thomas Clark
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un
Trump Interviews John Bolton
I like saying, “You’re fired,” to people who aren’t on board with my views and I’m probably going to say that to my national security advisor, H.R. McMaster. He’s still an active general but no way does he understand war the way I do. And I also think John Bolton knows a lot more about […]
Also posted in Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, Fox News, H.R. McMaster, Iran, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Ted Kennedy, Vietnam
Trump Shock
hold it i thought south korea said kim jong un promised to denuclearize but maybe he just wants to talk about it and i’d look dumb
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Big Boys to Meet
(The following are transcripts of recent, and quite separate, private utterances by the world’s two most feared warriors.) Donald Trump – Other presidents didn’t have the guts to negotiate with Kim Jong Un or his father or grandfather but I’ve got brass balls, and my threats to completely destroy his country have scared the Little […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Muammar Gaddafi, Saddam Hussein
President Forever
congratulations xi jinping upon becoming president for life usa can’t complain much because it needs chinese help dealing with another president for life
Also posted in China, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Xi Jinping
Admiral Yamamoto in Korea
We’ll talk about North Korea in a minute but first you should know I love the sea and more Kawai especially when I’m in Tokyo out of uniform in her arms. I tell her about studying at Harvard two happy years, and likewise two incisive years as naval attaché in Washington, D. C. I like […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Isoroku Yamamoto, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Tripartite Pact, World War II
Rocket Man Ready
our nuclear forces are complete the magic button is on my desk happy new year
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Manila Bulletin Posts “Nuclear Role Reversal”
Retired Ambassador Jose Abeto Zaide, now a columnist for the Manila Bulletin, has posted another of my stories about foreign affairs: “Nuclear Role Reversal.” Click here to read “King Donald” by George Thomas Clark
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mexico
Nuclear Role Reversal
Frankly and without self-pity I tell you that I have a dangerous and therefore stressful job as president of South Mexico, which for years, with the help of our Chinese allies, has been holding off communist hordes in North Mexico and the United States. To help you understand, let me briefly review essential events after […]
Also posted in Canada, China, Donald Trump, Hawaii, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Manila Bulletin Posts “Easy Riders, Best of Friends”
The Manila Bulletin Posted “Easy Riders, Best of Friends” – On my website it is titled “Donald Duterte” and a bit more candid. Thanks to veteran diplomat Jose Abeto Zaide for sharing his space. Click here to read
Also posted in Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Philippines
Golfing with Shinzo and Donald
I’ve caddied for many of the greatest golfers in history, packing Tiger Woods’ bag the day he shot sixty-two in an exhibition with Japanese legend Jumbo Ozaki who, despite being almost sixty, fired a hot sixty-seven. Today, I won’t be carrying clubs because our distinguished guests here at Kasumigaseki Country Club – Hideki Matsuyama, fourth […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Golf, Guns, Hideki Matsuyama, Japan, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Shinzo Abe, Tiger Woods
Manila Bulletin Posts “Kim Jong Un in Iran”
The Manila Bulletin and Ambassador Jose Abeto Zaide have posted my most recent column, “Kim Jong Un in Iran”
Also posted in Ali Khamenei, Donald Trump, Iran, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Kim Jong Un in Iran
Just so you understand, I have a hot line to Iran and can contact Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei any time I want but I won’t need a phone today. After a secret trip by means that must remain mysterious, I’m meeting Khamenei in Tehran where I’ve been invited to discuss how we can save our […]
Also posted in Ali Khamenei, Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Iran Trumped
the donald decertifies iran nuclear deal as well as persian gulf he calls arabian
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, Middle East, Persian Gulf
Manila Bulletin Reprints “Tillerson Confronts Trump”
The Manila Bulletin and Ambassador Jose Abeto Zaide Have Reprinted “Tillerson Confronts Trump” Is the president determined to start a nuclear war? Read my column in the Manila Bulletin
Also posted in Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Rex Tillerson
Tillerson Confronts Trump
Walking fast Rex Tillerson enters the office of White House chief of staff John Kelly and says, “Tell the president I’m here and we need to talk.” “You don’t have an appointment,” says the retired four-star general, rising to attention. The secretary of state pivots, marches out, and turns toward the Oval Office. Kelly from […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Jared Kushner, John Kelly, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Rex Tillerson
Hot Tweet
from erect tweeter trump declares secretary of state tillerson wasting time talking to little rocket man in north korea where the donald will do what has to be done
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Fake Launch
trump tweets iran test-fired missile designed to reach israel but there was no launch and one wonders why the president is forever permitted to lie
Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran
Manila Bulletin Reprints “Trump at United Nations”
I’m honored that my creative commentaries about North Korea and nuclear weapons continue to interest readers in East Asia. Here’s a link to “Trump at United Nations,” quoted in its entirety by Jose Abeto Zaide, veteran diplomat and columnist for the Manila Bulletin. Read it in the Manila Bulletin
Also posted in Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Trump at United Nations
It’s a great honor to be at the United Nations right here in my hometown of New York. I do think the building’s a little shabby and would’ve been a lot prettier if I’d built it but that’s okay. We’re here today to celebrate the fact that because of my leadership the stock market is […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Russia, United Nations, Venezuela
Rocket
trump joins nuclear rocket man one way to mars
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mars
Nuclearizing East Asia
During a break at an economic summit Prime Minister Shinzo Abe of Japan motions for Korean President Moon Jae-in to join him in a conference room where President Vladimir Putin arises and says, through several interpreters, “Please sit down.” The three leaders sit at a small dark wooden table. “North Korea’s headed toward a very […]
Also posted in Japan, Korea, Moon Jae-in, Russia, Shinzo Abe, Vladamir Putin
Kim’s Big Bomb
You tell me not to make ballistic missiles, I create them. You tell me not to test them, I fire whenever I want. You tell me not to make nuclear warheads, I produce them. You tell me not to test them, this morning I tested one eight times more powerful than the bomb you dropped […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Donald Trump v. Kim Jong Un
Let’s see, in 1950 North Korean soldiers, materially aided by China and Russia, attacked and mauled South Korean troops, which then received massive aid from American and other United Nations forces to repulse the invaders but then the rescuers became invaders and, despite many warnings from the Chinese, continued to charge further north, bombing and […]
Also posted in Boxing, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Korean War, Mixed Martial Arts
Kim Says Mellow Out
Hey, come on. Chill, it’s me, your rock-n-roll and roundball buddy on top here in the righteous Democratic People’s Republic of Korea saying everything’s okay and the only reason you’re panicking is because you lack precise and trustworthy news organizations. I don’t allow such things in my country but you should because right now your […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Media
Japan Watches
we japanese would be fascinated by tests of north korean offensive and american defensive missiles except we’re in middle of nuclear lunacy
Kim’s Second ICBM
After my Fourth of July ICBM present to the United States I decided, little more than three weeks later, to air mail you another test, “a powerful sword for keeping peace,” and this one flew higher and longer than the last and, I’m confident, terrified those who live not only on the West Coast but […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Trump Aces Lady Golfers
Can you believe my fake news enemies wanted to steal the women’s U.S. Open championship from me and my Trump National Golf Club in New Jersey? They said the president shouldn’t benefit by having a major tournament played on his golf course and it would be inappropriate since they claim I’m not always a gentleman […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., Golf, Health, Iraq, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Russia
Trump Calls Kim Jong Un
Donald Trump – President Kim, this is President Trump calling to tell you that it won’t happen. Kim Jong Un – It’s already happened. DT – I’m referring to North Korea actually deploying an ICBM. KJU – Consider them as good as deployed on quite mobile Chinese-built trucks you’ll never be able to track. DT […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Japan, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Muammar Gaddafi, Russia, Saddam Hussein
Target, Japan
north korea just fired another ballistic missile into our sea of japan we’re still not sure what we’re going to do about this menace but based on history we better do something
Also posted in Donald Trump, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
North Korean Overture to Mexico
Deep in a bunker somewhere in North Korea, Kim Jong Un points to a huge wall map of the world and, aided by his finest Spanish-speaking tutor, says, “President Fox, I feel for the righteous Mexican people who’ve so long been degraded by the American colossus to the north. Your strategic position and indeed your […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Mexico, Vicente Fox
Kim Jong Un to Americans
You Americans are planning to attack me. You’re always attacking someone. Look at Iraq and Afghanistan and Libya and Syria and Cuba and Panama and Vietnam. Cry when you look at Vietnam and remember it when scheming against our North Korean homeland. No one believes your lie we invaded the imperialists in the south in […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea
Trump Confronts Kim Jong Un
Far too busy to be troubled by an inconvenient personal meeting, President Donald Trump, entertaining swells at Mar-a-Lago, and President Kim Jong Un, salivating as soldiers and missiles pass before him in Pyongyang, take a break to offer a little TV time for Battle of the Big Shots. President Xi Jinping, the referee, prepares to […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Xi Jinping
Colonel von Stauffenberg Discusses Kim Jong Un
This young man asks what many people have: “Colonel von Stauffenberg, what should the North Koreans do?” By that he naturally means what should the military officers do? “It will likely be up to the colonels,” I say. “Generals have usually lost their youth and vigor while gaining power and prestige. If a lower ranking […]
Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Claus von Stauffenberg, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, World War II
Kim Jong Un Tweets Trump
Outraged by the contradictory tweet from President-elect Trump, I snatched my high powered Dear Leader tweeter and fired: It will happen. North Korea will soon have a nuclear-tipped ballistic missile capable of reaching the United States. In daily telepathic conversations my godlike grandfather and father, who created a paradise that capitalists want to destroy, tell […]
Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korea, Korean War, Twitter
Nuclear Trump
I worry about our nuclear triad because I’m a strategic thinker. I knew what the triad was last year even though political enemies tried to use my words to make it sound like I didn’t. I did and I do and warn everyone that the United States must greatly strengthen and expand its land-based missiles, […]
Also posted in China, Donald Trump, ISIS, Russia, Vladimir Putin
