Category Archives: Korea

Trump Cancels Kim

kim said he understood our around-his-neck nuclear exercises with south korea and i explained john bolton’s gaddafi-model gaffe applied to kim’s nukes not his head he’s got to settle down so someday we can actually meet

Also posted in Donald Trump, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Libya, Muammar Gaddafi, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Diplomacy A

i’m going to tell kim jong un denuclearize right away or i’ll attack

Also posted in Donald Trump, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Nobel Delay

I’d never say it, but almost everyone else is: President Trump’s a lock for the Nobel Peace Prize. Obviously, I agree. None of my timid predecessors could have brought Kim Jong Un running to the peace table. Only my threats of unprecedented death and destruction have made peace possible. I’m not worried Kim threatened to […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Iran, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Nobel Prize, Nuclear Weapons

Nobel Trump

people ask what i had to with north’s korea’s improved behavior and offer to meet at summit my answer’s simple everything now it’s almost cinch i’ll win nobel peace prize and if i don’t blame kim jong un

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

At the Border

kim jong un walked south across the border kim jae-in walked north across the border and both returned south to discuss making korea nuclear-free and they lived quite happily until real negotiations began

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Moon Jae-in, Nuclear Weapons

Korean Melody

k-pop pretty singers travel north after concert lips tight for kim jong un

Also posted in Kim Jong-Un, Music, Nuclear Weapons

James Mattis Moderates John Bolton

Dr. Harrison didn’t get drunk on fine wines at the party for powerbrokers in Washington, D.C. that recent night but did consume enough to hand the keys to his wife, after only brief debate, and rode shotgun, singing his alma mater’s fight song. At home he again acceded in gentlemanly fashion and, still clothed except […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, James Mattis, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Syria

China Pressures North Korea

(These secret communiques between President Kim Jong Un and President Xi Jinping were intercepted and assembled in March 2018 by the intelligence agencies of the United States and South Korea, and released early this morning.) Kim Jong Un – Mr. President, you’ve slashed imports of our products by eighty percent so far this year. And […]

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Iran, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Xi Jinping

Kim Jong Un in China

I have always admired President Xi Jinping and warmly congratulated him last year when he won reelection as general secretary of the central committee, and this year I again sent my regards after he was reelected president in a way that means president for life. Even these overtures seemed insufficient, so I conveyed to President […]

Also posted in Beijing, China, Donald Trump, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Ri Sol Ju, Xi Jinping

Guns and War

On the recent Saturday when a few million citizens, many quite young, gathered to protest gun violence in scores of cities and towns from Washington, D.C. to Los Angeles, I boosted several of my Facebook links to stories I’d written about guns and war. These promotions attracted many new readers who, by demographic selection, I’d […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Guns, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Mental Health, Murder, NRA, Nuclear Weapons

Trump and Biden Brawl

Joe Biden, former vice president and still a slender six-footer at age seventy-five, stands at the microphone in an elegant Washington, D.C. hotel and, before Democratic governors and their staffs, begins hammering President Donald Trump for cutting taxes for the wealthy, risking a trade war with Europe and Asia, risking nuclear war with North Korea […]

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Jerry Brown, Joe Biden, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Trade

Trump Interviews John Bolton

I like saying, “You’re fired,” to people who aren’t on board with my views and I’m probably going to say that to my national security advisor, H.R. McMaster. He’s still an active general but no way does he understand war the way I do. And I also think John Bolton knows a lot more about […]

Also posted in Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, Fox News, H.R. McMaster, Iran, John Bolton, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Ted Kennedy, Vietnam

Calling Rex Tillerson

Listen, I already told you all I’m not going to let anyone damage this smooth-running administration by forcing me to admit I called Donald Trump a moron. I have great respect and affection for the president, and hope he feels the same about me. It’s my duty to tell him the Iran nuclear deal is […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Mike Pompeo, Rex Tillerson

Trump Shock

hold it i thought south korea said kim jong un promised to denuclearize but maybe he just wants to talk about it and i’d look dumb

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Big Boys to Meet

(The following are transcripts of recent, and quite separate, private utterances by the world’s two most feared warriors.) Donald Trump – Other presidents didn’t have the guts to negotiate with Kim Jong Un or his father or grandfather but I’ve got brass balls, and my threats to completely destroy his country have scared the Little […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Muammar Gaddafi, Nuclear Weapons, Saddam Hussein

President Forever

congratulations xi jinping upon becoming president for life usa can’t complain much because it needs chinese help dealing with another president for life

Also posted in China, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Xi Jinping

Trump Justice

There’s no need for you or me to get confused by this legal mumbo jumbo the liberals are throwing at us. It’s all very simple. I did not hire Russian hookers, while visiting their great country, to pee on the bed African Obama once slept in. I did not sleep with Vladimir Putin or Stormy […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Donald Trump, FBI, James Comey, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Vladimir Putin

Martin Luther King Visits Trump

Speeding in a golf court on a splendid golf course not far from presidential palace Mar-a-Lago, Martin Luther King steered toward the executive foursome and braked hard, skidding along the grass behind the fifth tee just as President Donald Trump began his downswing. Trump dribbled the ball about twenty yards and spun to scream, “Hey, […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, China, Donald Trump, Iran, Martin Luther King, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Vietnam

Admiral Yamamoto in Korea

We’ll talk about North Korea in a minute but first you should know I love the sea and more Kawai especially when I’m in Tokyo out of uniform in her arms. I tell her about studying at Harvard two happy years, and likewise two incisive years as naval attaché in Washington, D. C. I like […]

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Isoroku Yamamoto, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Tripartite Pact, World War II

Trump Button

my nuclear button’s bigger than yours

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Rocket Man Ready

our nuclear forces are complete the magic button is on my desk happy new year

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Manila Bulletin Posts “Nuclear Role Reversal”

Retired Ambassador Jose Abeto Zaide, now a columnist for the Manila Bulletin, has posted another of my stories about foreign affairs: “Nuclear Role Reversal.” Click here to read “King Donald” by George Thomas Clark

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Mexico, Nuclear Weapons

Nuclear Role Reversal

Frankly and without self-pity I tell you that I have a dangerous and therefore stressful job as president of South Mexico, which for years, with the help of our Chinese allies, has been holding off communist hordes in North Mexico and the United States. To help you understand, let me briefly review essential events after […]

Also posted in Canada, China, Donald Trump, Hawaii, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Scorches Balls

I’m sure you all read my vital presidential tweets and know I worried those three shoplifters from the UCLA basketball team were going to show me up and not tell everyone how much they appreciated that I intervened with President Xi and saved their asses from ten years in a Chinese prison. They should’ve said […]

Also posted in Basketball, China, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, LaVar Ball, LiAngelo Ball, Xi Jinping

Donald Duterte

Bearing a big smile Donald Trump for a hefty man strides rapidly into Malacañang Palace and extends a hand to his host, President Rodrigo Duterte, who says, “No, bro, like this,” and holds out his right fist, evidently a more macho version of the Nazi salute, which after all was open-handed, and nods for Trump […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Drugs, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte

Golfing with Shinzo and Donald

I’ve caddied for many of the greatest golfers in history, packing Tiger Woods’ bag the day he shot sixty-two in an exhibition with Japanese legend Jumbo Ozaki who, despite being almost sixty, fired a hot sixty-seven. Today, I won’t be carrying clubs because our distinguished guests here at Kasumigaseki Country Club – Hideki Matsuyama, fourth […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Golf, Guns, Hideki Matsuyama, Japan, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Shinzo Abe, Tiger Woods

Manila Bulletin Posts “Kim Jong Un in Iran”

The Manila Bulletin and Ambassador Jose Abeto Zaide have posted my most recent column, “Kim Jong Un in Iran”

Also posted in Ali Khamenei, Donald Trump, Iran, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Kim Jong Un in Iran

Just so you understand, I have a hot line to Iran and can contact Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei any time I want but I won’t need a phone today. After a secret trip by means that must remain mysterious, I’m meeting Khamenei in Tehran where I’ve been invited to discuss how we can save our […]

Also posted in Ali Khamenei, Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Assesses The Donald

I knew I was going to be a great president but, frankly, I’m far surpassing my own expectations and am rebuilding the nation and the world in ways I know are necessary. Let’s start with disastrous Obamacare, the Affordable Care Act I just I last week cut back because its author had lied to the […]

Also posted in Abortion, Barack Obama, Birth Control, Donald Trump, Environment, Immigration, Iran, Nuclear Weapons

Manila Bulletin Reprints “Tillerson Confronts Trump”

The Manila Bulletin and Ambassador Jose Abeto Zaide Have Reprinted “Tillerson Confronts Trump” Is the president determined to start a nuclear war? Read my column in the Manila Bulletin

Also posted in Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Rex Tillerson

Tillerson Confronts Trump

Walking fast Rex Tillerson enters the office of White House chief of staff John Kelly and says, “Tell the president I’m here and we need to talk.” “You don’t have an appointment,” says the retired four-star general, rising to attention. The secretary of state pivots, marches out, and turns toward the Oval Office. Kelly from […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Jared Kushner, John Kelly, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Rex Tillerson

Hot Tweet

from erect tweeter trump declares secretary of state tillerson wasting time talking to little rocket man in north korea where the donald will do what has to be done

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Manila Bulletin Reprints “Trump at United Nations”

I’m honored that my creative commentaries about North Korea and nuclear weapons continue to interest readers in East Asia. Here’s a link to “Trump at United Nations,” quoted in its entirety by Jose Abeto Zaide, veteran diplomat and columnist for the Manila Bulletin. Read it in the Manila Bulletin

Also posted in Donald Trump, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Trump at United Nations

It’s a great honor to be at the United Nations right here in my hometown of New York. I do think the building’s a little shabby and would’ve been a lot prettier if I’d built it but that’s okay. We’re here today to celebrate the fact that because of my leadership the stock market is […]

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Iran, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, United Nations, Venezuela

Rocket

trump joins nuclear rocket man one way to mars

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Mars, Nuclear Weapons

Nuclearizing East Asia

During a break at an economic summit Prime Minister Shinzo Abe of Japan motions for Korean President Moon Jae-in to join him in a conference room where President Vladimir Putin arises and says, through several interpreters, “Please sit down.” The three leaders sit at a small dark wooden table. “North Korea’s headed toward a very […]

Also posted in Japan, Moon Jae-in, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Shinzo Abe, Vladamir Putin

Kim’s Big Bomb

You tell me not to make ballistic missiles, I create them. You tell me not to test them, I fire whenever I want. You tell me not to make nuclear warheads, I produce them. You tell me not to test them, this morning I tested one eight times more powerful than the bomb you dropped […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Donald Trump v. Kim Jong Un

Let’s see, in 1950 North Korean soldiers, materially aided by China and Russia, attacked and mauled South Korean troops, which then received massive aid from American and other United Nations forces to repulse the invaders but then the rescuers became invaders and, despite many warnings from the Chinese, continued to charge further north, bombing and […]

Also posted in Boxing, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korean War, Mixed Martial Arts, Nuclear Weapons

Kim Says Mellow Out

Hey, come on. Chill, it’s me, your rock-n-roll and roundball buddy on top here in the righteous Democratic People’s Republic of Korea saying everything’s okay and the only reason you’re panicking is because you lack precise and trustworthy news organizations. I don’t allow such things in my country but you should because right now your […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Media, Nuclear Weapons

Japan Watches

we japanese would be fascinated by tests of north korean offensive and american defensive missiles except we’re in middle of nuclear lunacy

Also posted in Japan, Nuclear Weapons

Nuclear Bull

people who enflame my horns in spain and enjoy suicidal head butt against stake may soon be lit by nukes i watch from heaven Video of bull on fire

Also posted in Bulls, Donald Trump, Spain

Kim’s Second ICBM

After my Fourth of July ICBM present to the United States I decided, little more than three weeks later, to air mail you another test, “a powerful sword for keeping peace,” and this one flew higher and longer than the last and, I’m confident, terrified those who live not only on the West Coast but […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Aces Lady Golfers

Can you believe my fake news enemies wanted to steal the women’s U.S. Open championship from me and my Trump National Golf Club in New Jersey? They said the president shouldn’t benefit by having a major tournament played on his golf course and it would be inappropriate since they claim I’m not always a gentleman […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., Golf, Health, Iraq, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Russia

Trump Calls Kim Jong Un

Donald Trump – President Kim, this is President Trump calling to tell you that it won’t happen. Kim Jong Un – It’s already happened. DT – I’m referring to North Korea actually deploying an ICBM. KJU – Consider them as good as deployed on quite mobile Chinese-built trucks you’ll never be able to track. DT […]

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Japan, Jose Abeto Zaide, Kim Jong-Un, Muammar Gaddafi, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Saddam Hussein

Target, Japan

north korea just fired another ballistic missile into our sea of japan we’re still not sure what we’re going to do about this menace but based on history we better do something

Also posted in Donald Trump, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Rodman Goes Nuclear

This story is in the collection “Basketball and Football”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Basketball, Dennis Rodman, Donald Trump, Jimi Hendrix, John McCain, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, The Doors

North Korean Overture to Mexico

Deep in a bunker somewhere in North Korea, Kim Jong Un points to a huge wall map of the world and, aided by his finest Spanish-speaking tutor, says, “President Fox, I feel for the righteous Mexican people who’ve so long been degraded by the American colossus to the north. Your strategic position and indeed your […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Mexico, Nuclear Weapons, Vicente Fox

Kim Jong Un to Americans

You Americans are planning to attack me. You’re always attacking someone. Look at Iraq and Afghanistan and Libya and Syria and Cuba and Panama and Vietnam. Cry when you look at Vietnam and remember it when scheming against our North Korean homeland. No one believes your lie we invaded the imperialists in the south in […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

First Lady

ri sol-ju please tell us about your man kim jong-un

Also posted in Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Confronts Kim Jong Un

Far too busy to be troubled by an inconvenient personal meeting, President Donald Trump, entertaining swells at Mar-a-Lago, and President Kim Jong Un, salivating as soldiers and missiles pass before him in Pyongyang, take a break to offer a little TV time for Battle of the Big Shots. President Xi Jinping, the referee, prepares to […]

Also posted in China, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Xi Jinping

Obama Writes to Trump

Dear President Trump, I have to this point restrained myself from responding to your avalanche of falsehoods and insults but better speak now, in this letter I share with a public likely to suffer from your instability and that should know you’re a nonalcoholic version of witch-hunting Senator Joseph McCarthy, whose name still makes free […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Nuclear Weapons, Syria

Colonel von Stauffenberg Discusses Kim Jong Un

This young man asks what many people have: “Colonel von Stauffenberg, what should the North Koreans do?” By that he naturally means what should the military officers do? “It will likely be up to the colonels,” I say. “Generals have usually lost their youth and vigor while gaining power and prestige. If a lower ranking […]

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Claus von Stauffenberg, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, World War II

Empathetic Trump

I know some of you feel I lack empathy and have been calling me a narcissist, and that’s really unfair. As your president I’m up every night, tweeting and worrying about my most important priority, your safety and well-being. I also want to help people around the world. Inevitably, I think a lot about the […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Donald Trump, ISIS, Ivanka Trump, Japan, Syria

Kim Jong Un Tweets Trump

Outraged by the contradictory tweet from President-elect Trump, I snatched my high powered Dear Leader tweeter and fired: It will happen. North Korea will soon have a nuclear-tipped ballistic missile capable of reaching the United States. In daily telepathic conversations my godlike grandfather and father, who created a paradise that capitalists want to destroy, tell […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, Korean War, Nuclear Weapons, Twitter

Trump Counters Hillary’s Foreign Policy Speech

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Campaign 2016, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Mexico, Nuclear Weapons

Hydrogen Man

I’m not short and pudgy. I’m taller and firmer than you think and in fact I’m a stud who watches professional basketball and lives like a god and beds any woman I want and the other night my current favorite swooned as I told her, “This morning I exploded a hydrogen bomb.” “Oh, Dear Leader.” […]

Also posted in China, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

Rubio Warns China

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Air Force, Army, Campaign 2016, China, Defense Budget, Japan, Kim Jong-Un, Marco Rubio, Navy

Himmler Visits North Korea

I’m tired of people joking the Reichsfuehrer SS once gagged and almost fainted after seeing some civilians shot. I did stagger, yes, but didn’t fall or vomit and, after being helped away and recovering, I sent orders to continue shooting. That’s such a slow and messy process, I know. We don’t have any gas chambers […]

Also posted in Genocide, Germany, Heinrich Hmmler, Holocaust, Kim Jong-Un, Nazis, World War II

North Korean Explains Race

We the happy and well-fed people of North Korea must maintain our racial purity lest we become like the suffering, ill-shaped barbarians who surround this paradise created by divine Kim Jong-Un and his father and grandfather. Ignore those who’re starving in our country. Don’t worry about those who’ve disappeared. Their blood was tainted by inferior […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Basketball, Dennis Rodman, Kim Jong-Il, Racism

Kim Jong Un Betrayed by Uncle

I don’t care what they say in other countries. They now understand I really do control everything inside North Korea. My revered father, Kim Jong-Il, had entrusted his sister’s husband, Jang Song Thaek, to tutor me in diplomacy and military science but instead of treating me as a prodigy he often smirked, even after I […]

Also posted in Communism, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un

Kim Jong Un Executes Girlfriend

I am physical and spiritual protector of nation and that’s only reason I ordered execution of ex-girlfriend and eleven other preserve members of orchestras I’d trusted to honorably entertain citizens. This has nothing to do with wife, former member of same orchestra, being jealous. This has nothing to do with immoral singer saying I’m fat […]

Also posted in Henry VIII, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un

Super Kim Jong Un

I don’t fear starving people. They love my fat face. I worry about generals who pray I’m not tough as Father and Grandfather, generals who may want my place. They can’t have it. They’re learning I’m strongest Kim yet. I’ve already captured, jailed, and tortured North Korean fishermen, and fired missiles able to carry nuclear […]

Also posted in Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons, Short Pieces - GTC

Another Obama is Hitler Letter

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Adolf Hitler, Bakersfield, Barack Obama, Conservatives, Germany, Health, Hitler Here, Nuclear Weapons, Politics, Supreme Court

Death in North Korea

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Food, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Poetry - GTC, Starvation

Muslim Analyst on Iran and the Nuclear Nation

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in China, England, France, India, Iran, Israel, Middle East, Nuclear Weapons, Pakistan, Terrorism

Korean Wail

tried to cry for kim jong il but could not my brother cried loudly but without dramatic skill now we rehearse in jail

Also posted in Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Poetry - GTC

Kim Jong-Il Attacks Again

Don’t dare celebrate Western exaggerations that my body’s withered by a stroke and my face twisted into a mask of fading comprehension. I’m still mighty Kim Jong-Il and determined to confront those who claim they’re blessed with freedom and nutrition but are in fact imperialistic criminals using economic sanctions to punish my starving North Korean […]

Also posted in Asia, China, Iran, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un, Nuclear Weapons

I Am MacArthur

This story is from the collection “The Bold Investor” <

Also posted in Alexander the Great, Asia, Australia, China, Dean Acheson, Douglas MacArthur, Dwight Eisenhower, Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Japan, John Barrymore, Korean War, Napoleon, Nuclear Weapons, Pearl Harbor, Philippines, Short Stories - GTC, The Bold Investor, West Point, World War I, World War II

Kim Jong Il Celebrates Sixty Years of War

I am in splendid health. Reports of my suffering strokes and other debilitating maladies are simply the delusions of enemies who refuse to admit that the great North Korean nation built by my late father, Kim Il Sung, and I is a fountain of wealth, happiness, and awesome military power. I recently celebrated my good […]

Also posted in Asia, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Nuclear Weapons

Mighty Kim Jong Il

This story appears in the collection “In Other Hands”

Also posted in Asia, Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong-Il, Nuclear Weapons