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Category Archives: Lonzo Ball

LeBron Speaks Up

I really hesitate to step forward. I’m not the meddler many say. I simply lobby for what’s best for my team. I complimented Luke Walton for good coaching late this season. I tried to protect him. Ignore those who say I’d already ordered my lieutenants to undercut him. Magic Johnson wanted him out anyway. Luke […]

Also posted in Brandon Ingram, Cleveland, Jeanie Buss, Kawhi Leonard, Kevin Durant, Klay Thompson, Lebron James, Los Angeles Lakers, Luke Walton

Mo Wagner Intervenes

Had I not sprained my left knee and ankle during summer league action, it’s certain that as a sweet-shooting rookie almost seven-feet tall I’d already be an emerging star. Alas, I only recently regained my vigor, and the other night began my pro career in the G-League, scoring seventeen points. I consider that a promising […]

Also posted in Basketball, Basketball and Football, Brandon Ingram, Luke Walton, Magic Johnson, Mo Wagner, Rajon Rondo, Rob Pelinka

LeBron James Assesses the Lakers

(Correspondent LeBron James files the first Lakers dispatch of the 2018-2019 season.) Talk to analytical scientists all you want. I’ll instead offer meat and potatoes to clarify why I’m concerned about my Lakers after the first two games this season. We hit a higher field goal percentage and modestly more baskets than either the Portland […]

Also posted in Basketball, Brandon Ingram, Karl-Anthony Towns, Kawhi Leonard, Kevin Durant, Klay Thompson, Kyle Kuzma, Lebron James, Los Angeles Lakers

LeBron Updates Free Agency

Please ignore reports I screamed like an unanesthetized dental patient upon learning that stellar forward Paul George, presumed to be bound for the glorious Los Angeles Lakers, instead signed to stay a few years on the arid plain of Oklahoma City. I confess I did shout in pain but the source was physical rather than […]

Also posted in Basketball, Basketball and Football, Brandon Ingram, Cleveland, Julius Randle, Kawhi Leonard, Kevin Durant, Kyle Kuzma, Lebron James, Los Angeles Lakers, Paul George, Philadelphia

Balls in Lithuania

I surrender. No longer can I pretend I’m uninterested in the Big Baller Ball Family. In fact, I sense I’m going to write about them whenever I get the urge. I don’t care father LaVar, aside from Donald Trump, is the most obnoxious man in the nation. It doesn’t matter he gets more publicity than […]

Also posted in Basketball, Ben Simmons, De'Aaron Fox, Donald Trump, LaMelo Ball, LaVar Ball, Lebron James, LiAngelo Ball, Lithuania

LaMelo Ball at the Crossroads

I’d rather concentrate on passing virtuoso Lonzo Ball, who as a rookie seems poised to spearhead the resurgence of his hometown Los Angeles Lakers, or UCLA freshman LiAngelo and his task of making a rather heavy-footed game work against more athletic players his size and larger. Instead, boastful father LaVar has compelled me to write […]

Also posted in Basketball, LaMelo Ball, LaVar Ball, LiAngelo Ball

Point Guard Mania

This story is part of the collection “Basketball and Football” Damn it, Kyrie Irving, I’d planned to focus my comments on rookie point guards but now you and your advisors have upset everyone by announcing you want to leave Cleveland so you can be king of a franchise. Please note you began your career as […]

Also posted in Basketball, Cleveland, De'Aaron Fox, Dennis Smith, Kyrie Irving, Lebron James, Los Angeles Lakers, Markelle Fultz, Sacramento Kings