Category Archives: Pigs

Generally, I am not a plaintive pig. For some fifteen years I have stoically lived – existed, really – in a dreary Calabasas canyon below the opulent home of my owners, who spend much of their time cavorting around the nation and the world. I don’t begrudge them their money, which, to my knowledge, they […]

Down to my filthy abode in a Calabasas canyon my owners last week did come, giddily shoving in my snout some overwrought device that bore the startling image of a wild female hog. “Oscar,” they declared, “this should be you.” “Why so?” I asked. “Watch this clip.” “Turn that off and tell me why.  You’re […]

Seldom have I complained about my brethren being slaughtered, fried, roasted, and barbecued.  Never did I protest when my owners hired a veterinarian – a butcher with a degree – to whack off my testicles and saw my tusks.  Rarely have I whined about forever being banished to a dreary Calabasas canyon while, in the […]

I’m twelve years old and have never known another pig since I don’t remember suckling my mother but with enduring clarity I recall my first home, in the back yard of a family in the San Fernando Valley.  I was a twenty-pound piglet then and enjoyed the kids and their friends patting me while cooing […]