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Category Archives: Melania Trump

Call from Above

Pushing the telephone at her husband, she says, “Donald, John McCain wants to speak to you.” “Knock it off, Melania.” She puts the phone to her ear and listens again. “He insists, Donald.” “I don’t like pranks,” he says, taking the phone. “Who the hell’s this? You want the secret service on your tail.” “Look […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Cancer, Donald Trump, Health, Insurance, John McCain, Vietnam

Melania Defends LeBron James

Soaring through the heavens in mighty Air Force One, President Donald Trump grabs his tweeter and writes, “LeBron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made LeBron look smart, which isn’t easy to do. I like Mike!” Two minutes later, grim and squeezing her pink tweeter, Melania Trump rushes […]

Also posted in Basketball, CNN, Donald Trump, Education, Fox News, Lebron James, Marriage

Trump Pumps White Fertility

Worried and nervous but with hope I turn on my television to watch President Donald Trump, wearing pajamas in the White House presidential bedroom, speak about our national crisis. “Sometimes I wish I had a way to address an all-white audience,” he says. “If you’re nonwhite I can’t prevent you from listening but be forewarned […]

Also posted in Birth Control, Donald Trump, Population

Melania’s Jacket

I’m a model who understands the power of clothes and nudity, and know the latter pays better. Still, I must wear clothes to the border. After thinking about it quite a while, I select a green jacket showing white words in back, “I really don’t care. Do u?” Of course I’m not referring to children […]

Also posted in Central America, Donald Trump, Immigration, Mexico

Trump Tough in Minnesota

I’ve come to Minnesota to get away from this border hassle. Don’t lecture me about kids. I’ve got five and they’re all really great, especially Ivanka. I’m concerned about kids everywhere. That’s my job as most powerful hombre in the world. All along I’ve been worried about kids getting split up from their parents on […]

Also posted in Donald Trump, El Salvador, Honduras, Immigration, Ivanka Trump, Mexico

Against the Wall

Waving for his aide to sit down, the dapper man in Los Pinos squeezed a phone and dialed about twenty numbers, waiting while the White House phone rang. “Hello,” said a woman. “This is President Peña Nieto. Who’s this?” “Melania.” “Please let me speak to President Trump.” “What country are you from?” “Mexico.” “Oh, you’re […]

Also posted in Cocaine, Donald Trump, Drugs, Enrique Pena Nieto, Immigration, Murder

The Inaugural Speech

I am today honored to stand before the impoverished and miserable people of the United States and take my rightful place as a successor to George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. I too shall be your savior and forever protect you from people like the four failures sitting behind me on this executive stage. President Jimmy […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, George W. Bush, Ivanka Trump, Jimmy Carter