Category Archives: Syria

Obama Writes to Trump

Dear President Trump, I have to this point restrained myself from responding to your avalanche of falsehoods and insults but better speak now, in this letter I share with a public likely to suffer from your instability and that should know you’re a nonalcoholic version of witch-hunting Senator Joseph McCarthy, whose name still makes free […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Donald Trump, Iran, Iraq, Korea, Nuclear Weapons

Trump Strikes Syria

assad doesn’t know what I’m thinking because i don’t either four years ago i tweeted obama don’t attack syria after that i bashed him for not striking now i’m firing cruise missiles and not worried what’s next

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Donald Trump, Russia

Assad Passes Gas

Trust me, as the father of all Syrians, I – President Bashar al-Assad – am more aggrieved than anyone by the cowardly and criminals gas attacks that killed scores of women and children in the town of Khan Sheikhoun. Even though I’m an enormously proud and powerful man, I tell you I wept at reports […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Donald Trump, ISIS, Rex Tillerson, Russia, Vladimir Putin

One State or Two

I knew I was going to be a hell of a president but, frankly, I underestimated myself. I’ve got a great feel for diplomacy and international relations. Did you see me at the news conference last week with Prime Minister Abe after the North Koreans had test fired another ballistic missile? I coolly let the […]

Also posted in Benjamin Netanyahu, Donald Trump, Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Middle East, Palestine

Empathetic Trump

I know some of you feel I lack empathy and have been calling me a narcissist, and that’s really unfair. As your president I’m up every night, tweeting and worrying about my most important priority, your safety and well-being. I also want to help people around the world. Inevitably, I think a lot about the […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Donald Trump, ISIS, Ivanka Trump, Japan, Korea

Introducing Michael Flynn

I love public speaking, especially the first night of the Republican convention last summer. I’m at the podium and shouting lock her up and clapping with the audience, leading the chants. That’s right, I say, if I’d done a tenth what Hillary Clinton did I’d be in jail now. I know millions at home wonder […]

Also posted in Advertisements, Barack Obama, Colin Powell, Donald Trump, Michael Flynn, Pakistan, Russia, Turkey, Vladimir Putin

The Second Debate

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Campaign 2016, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Iran, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Warren Buffett

Putin Picks VP Winner

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Campaign 2016, Crimea, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Iran, ISIS, Mike Pence, Nuclear Weapons, Russia, Tim Kaine, Ukraine, Vladimir Putin

Battle of Brooklyn

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, Bernie Sanders, Boxing, Campaign 2016, Hillary Clinton, ISIS, Israel, Middle East, New York, New York City, Palestine

Turkey to ISIS

miles of isis tanker trucks back and forth syria to turkey

Also posted in ISIS, Middle East, Poetry - GTC, Russia

Dining with Bill Clinton

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bernie Sanders, Bill Clinton, Campaign 2016, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Iraq, ISIS, Israel, New York City, Palestine

Trump Crashes Democratic Debate

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Bernie Sanders, Campaign 2016, Donald Trump, Guns, Hillary Clinton, Iraq, Jeb Bush, Martin O'Malley, Middle East, Terrorism

Putin to Obama re Paris

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Beirut, Campaign 2016, Germany, Iraq, ISIS, Japan, Lebanon, Middle East, Paris, Ronald Reagan, Russia, Vladimir Putin, World War II

Saudis Defend Refugee Policies

We in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia are most chagrined by quite ignorant insults about our unwillingness to accept refugees from imploding Syria. It’s unconscionable, say arrogant Westerners, that the Saudis can’t welcome some of their Arab brothers and sisters who’ve been displaced by an enduring civil war; these refugees share the same language and […]

Also posted in Germany, Iraq, Middle East, Saudi Arabia

Saddam Battles ISIS

This story is from the rousing campaign book “King Donald”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Campaign 2016, Iraq, ISIS, Jeb Bush, Kurds, Marco Rubio, Middle East, Saddam Hussein, Turkey

Putin on Syrian Gas

Let’s be honest. I’m shrewdest politician in world. I maneuver into many terms as president, deftly gag dissenters, jail Pussy Riot female rockers who belittle Christ, and now I write columns for New York Times. If life weren’t so good in Russia I’d move to Big Apple and comment full-time. I have special insight into […]

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Pussy Riot, Russia, Short Pieces - GTC, Vladimir Putin

Assad Explains Seige of Homs

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Short Pieces - GTC

Kerry Challenges Assad

We have unassailable evidence Bashar al-Assad gassed Syrian civilians in vile attempt to retain stranglehold on country. What we don’t have is war-winning military option. Americans don’t want to fight in Syria and neither do allies. It’s therefore incumbent on me, as decorated and oft-wounded warrior, to stand up and challenge Assad to hand-to-hand combat. […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Hafez al-Assad, John Kerry, Middle East

Assad Gas Company

Obama has red line between eyes that means I can use gas whenever. I don’t want to every day, only when I need to. Sometimes I need to gas children and other sleeping civilians who understand I must keep power. Only I am qualified to lead. Before I took over, only Father was fit. Syria […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Chemical Weapons, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Short Pieces - GTC

Assad Hangs

I’m not dork or mass murderer. I’m Syrian President for Life and with iron fist striking foreign terrorists agitating my people. This I decree during fiery speeches forcing everyone to understand father and I’ve ruled Syria forty years, lot less than forever enemies will have to wait for me to leave. Twenty million Syrians know […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Short Pieces - GTC

Syrian Military Headquarters Attacked

Please be responsible citizens of the world and ignore terrorists’ claims they killed about twenty men at our national military headquarters in downtown Damascus. I assure you none of my officers and soldiers died. Perhaps a few suffered minor injuries. The building itself did sustain some blasts and burns and had to be evacuated. That […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East

Assad Battles Terrorists

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Children, Education, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East

Vladimir Putin Suppresses Pussy Riot

My Gods are no longer Lenin and Stalin and beautiful communist colossus crumbling during greatest geopolitical disaster of Twentieth Century. Higher power now is Russian Orthodox Church which supports me and ongoing recovery of nation I have rebuilt and led for many years and, God willing, will lead many more. It has thus been sacred […]

Also posted in Communism, Joseph Stalin, Moscow, Pussy Riot, Religion, Russia, Soviet Union, Vladimir Putin

Syrian Composer Speaks

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, Computers, Hafez al-Assad, Hammer Museum, Los Angeles, Malek Jandali, Middle East, Mona Simpson, Music, Steve Jobs, Writers

Conviction of Bashar al-Assad

i keep saying terrorists incited and abetted by foreigners are attacking our beloved syrian homeland and have convinced myself and hope you as well

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Poetry - GTC

Assad Justifies Bombardment

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East

Assad’s Guidelines

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Poetry - GTC

Bashar al-Assad Can’t Stop

can’t stop shooting terrorists still firing can’t retreat or they’ll move in can’t have ceasefire till sure terrorists controlled by monitors from right countries

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Poetry - GTC

Conservative International Action Plan

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Bashar al-Assad, China, Cold War, Conservatives, Iran, Iraq, Middle East, Nuclear Weapons, Pacific Ocean, Republicans, Russia, Saddam Hussein, Taliban, Vladimir Putin

Shopping with Missus Assad

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Asma al-Assad, Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Internet, Middle East, Poetry - GTC

Bashar al-Assad’s Minefield

why mine borders blocking those who want to flee imprisoned in syria they’ll slit your gut

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Poetry - GTC, Turkey

Assad Explains Siege of Homs

I’ve been reading international reports. People are saying I’ve sequestered myself with sycophants and yes men. They should be quiet and listen to the truth. I admit my opposition’s a bit broader than initially perceived. Quite a few terrorist-infected Syrians don’t understand the Assad dynasty must endure. To protect the country I’ve been forced to […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Poetry - GTC, United Nations

Siege of Homs

Please click here to read an excerpt from “Obama on Edge.”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East

Bashar al-Assad Gets Tougher

i am not dork or mass murderer i’m president for life of syria and prepared to strike with iron fist those foreign terrorists who’ve been agitating my people this i decreed during fiery two hour speech forcing everyone to understand my father and i’ve ruled syria forty years lot less than forever they’ll have to […]

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East, Poetry - GTC

Awaiting First Lady of Syria

wife bashar al-assad often denounces israel when will she denounce husband

Also posted in Asma al-Assad, Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Israel, Middle East, Poetry - GTC

Assad Welcomes Arab League

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Arab League, Bashar al-Assad, Mohammed Ahmed al-Dabi, Muammar Gaddafi, Omar al-Bashir, Poetry - GTC, Saddam Hussein, Sudan

Saddam Comforts Americans

This story is from the collection “Echoes from Saddam Hussein”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Lebanon, Middle East, Nouri al-Maliki, Saddam Hussein

Sam Retired in Florida

This story is from the collection “Echoes from Saddam Hussein”

Also posted in Algeria, Cuba, Egypt, Fidel Castro, Iraq, Middle East, Poetry - GTC, Saddam Hussein

Assad Ponders Gaddafi

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Benito Mussolini, Italy, Libya, Middle East, Poetry - GTC

Bashar al-Assad Defends Himself

This story is from the collection “Obama on Edge”

Also posted in Bashar al-Assad, Hafez al-Assad, Middle East

Explosions and Elections in the Middle East

Several days ago Iraqi insurgents in Hilla detonated a massive car bomb scattering body parts and clothes onto a street puddled with blood.  About one hundred twenty people died and many more were wounded.  Most of the victims – typically – were unarmed, unprepared, and lightly guarded recruits for the army and police.  They were […]

Also posted in Afghanistan, Egypt, George W. Bush, Hosni Mubarak, Iraq, Lebanon, Middle East, Palestine, Yasser Arafat